Toaster's Ramblings - Marvel's Killing Spree Edition

Marvel seems to be hell bent on killing it's most popular characters. I already talked about the disbanding of the Fantastic Four, but that's not really what I mean. While Marvel is killing the team, it's not apparently killing off Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch of the Thing. Plus, the Fantastic Four hasn't really been popular in decades.

What I am referring to started a couple of years ago with Marvel "killing" Peter Parker to set up the Superior Spider-man storyline where, through confusing comic book logic, the mind of Dr. Octopus took over Spider-man's body and he decided to use his new situation to become a better hero than his nemesis. Somehow, this story didn't turn out to be as bad as it probably should have been. In fact, I've heard it was good and an interesting change of pace for the character. Unfortunately, I think this has emboldened Marvel to start doing other drastic changes. Steve Rogers loses the super soldier serum in his blood and rapidly ages his body into a frail, elderly one and forcing him to pass the torch to Falcon... creating an excuse for Marvel to have a black Captain America. Thor becomes unworthy for some reason and now there's a female Thor.

And then there's the Death of Wolverine event, where Marvel's (arguably) most popular character was killed off after losing his healing factor. I'm not really sure why they would do this. You need to realize that Wolverine has made Marvel a lot of money. He has had numerous solo books, he's been on line-ups of the Avengers, X-men, X-force and even the Fantastic Four. Wolverine has also been a long favorite to make a guest appearance to boost sales of other titles. All of that has ended... and for what?

I guess there is a cuurent storyline where Sabretooth will be trying to atone for his past sins by trying to be a hero in Wolverine's place as he will be part of the new Uncanny Avengers line-up. Apparently his evil nature was permanently altered with the events of Axis. This is oddly not the first time Sabretooth was sued to fill the void left by Wolvie. After Wolverine had gotten his adamantium ripped out, the villain Genesis tried to re-bond the metal to Logan's bones, only for his body to reject the adamantium, for some reason turning Wolverine into a feral nose-less pirate. (Seriously) During that time, Sabretooth was held captive by Xavier in an attempt to rehabilitate him and Sabretooth helped the X-men in a few battles. That didn't last and I'm guessing at some point Sabretooth will be evil again. I mean, come on... how many villains does Wolverine really have?

I'm sure the Death of Wolverine arc made some money, despite the obvious fact that at some point Logan will likely return from the dead, just as Spider-man, Batman and Superman had before him. There is that old saying that "nobody stays dead in comics." That's not a positive thing when you think about it. It means that deaths in comics are far too often used as a gimmick to increase sales. Occasionally, a death will be permanent or at least a character will remain deceased for a long time. Jean Grey became a running joke for her many deaths and resurrections, but her regular continuity character has remained dead for about a decade now (though the young version of her is running around after being brought to the present... again, confusing comic book logic). Jason Todd, the second Robin, remained dead for almost 20 years! And by the looks of things, the original Nova, Richard Ryder, will remain dead indefinitely while the current Nova, Sam Alexander, is running around. However, none of these characters were A-listers. Everyone knew Superman, Spider-man and Batman would be back from the dead before too long. It's the same for Wolverine too.

What really inspired me to start this rant was actually the news that Marvel is now planning to kill Deadpool! That's right, the insanely popular cult favorite "Merc with a Mouth" is going to die for some reason... again. (Seriously, he died about ten years ago... it didn't take.) This pisses me off. Marvel Now's Deadpool comic is one of the best today, with comedian Brian Posehn as a co-writer. The comic is really funny, amazingly creative and has real heart to it without at all compromising the humor or the character himself. So of course Marvel is going to end the comic.

I won't get into the history of Marvel cancelling the books I really like (post-Annihilation Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Initiative, post Civil War New Warriors, the Runaways... okay, after the Vaughn and Whedon runs the Runaways sucked, so no big loss there... wait, what was I talking about again?). However, I only subscribe to four books from Marvel and Deadpool is one of them. Does Marvel just not want my money? I'm sure my money can go somewhere else.

Maybe this is going to be a curve-ball. Maybe Deadpool won't really die but instead maybe fake his death and become a lumberjack like Dexter. My big question is... what's the point? We already had a replacement Deadpool after his previous death in the "Funeral for a Freak" storyline. His name was Agent X and he sucked.

Is there going to be some revolutionary change that will make this cheap marketing ploy seem worthwhile? It seems like Marvel keeps hoping that lightning will strike twice, then a third time and a fourth and so on. I think they got lucky with Superior Spider-man and I've heard the current "Falcon America" isn't bad. But remember that the 90's saw lots of characters and titles revamped to be more 'modern' such as Azrael becoming Batman to make the character a violent and dark, Reign of the Supermen, Artemis taking the Wonder Woman mantle to make the character violent and... dark, Hal Jordan becoming a mass murderer, Superman turning into blue energy, Dr. Strange dropping the Dr and becoming... dark, Thing becoming disfigured and wearing a bucket on his head, Dr. Fate dropping the Dr and using a knife so he can be... dark... and so on. Yeah, most of those ideas sucked.

It would be nice if comic book companies would just focus on good storytelling rather than publicity stunts to sell comics. However, all my bitching could be rendered moot if the rumors are true that the end result of this summer's Marvel event could be a reboot of the entire universe. At which point, I will no longer be able to defend Marvel's occasional bad decisions with 'Well, it's still better than the New 52.'

To borrow a quote from Jonny Prophet...  "I'm kind of over reboots."

Toaster's Ramblings - Justice League VS JLA Edition

For Christmas I received the first two volumes of Grant Morrison's run on JLA from the late 90's. I love it. It features the biggest heroes in the DC universe in larger than life storylines against epic villains, such as defending the Earth from an invasion of White Martians guised as heroes or fighting off an invading army of angels from destroying the Earth or the epic Rock of Ages storyline. This is what I wanted when, at the birth of the New 52 reboot, I subscribed to Justice League. I just don't feel like it delivered anywhere near as well as JLA did. So sorry, this is yet another bitch session about the New 52.

I really just wanted that super team book with big names and great storylines. New 52 gave us big names, but the stories have largely sucked. The first arc where they come together to fight Darkseid felt rushed and was the first big taste of how DC was making its timeless characters more "edgy." They made them into assholes. Green Lantern and Batman snipe at each other like kids on a playground. Their new interpretation of Superman would rather beat the living hell out of someone, causing massive collateral damage in the process, than... oh, I don't know... talk to them? Reason with them? Find out what's going on? You know, those traits that made Superman one of the most revered heroes ever. No, even though he is knowingly capable of killing almost anyone and can level cities, he would rather just kick someone's ass.

From there was the lousy 'Graves' storyline, where the guy who wrote about the Justice League became a bad guy with psychic powers to mess with the heroes... you know, like Despero, The Key, Dr. Destiny, Gorilla Grodd, Dr. Psycho and the litany of other psychic villains that are part of the League's rogues gallery. Like I said, the story was boring and crappy.

Then we got the Throne of Atlantis arc. This could have been good except for two problems. The first was that the Justice League book suddenly became the launching point for readers to have to buy a bunch of other titles to know what was going on in the storyline. JLA could tell a story within that actual book, but the New 52 Justice League has to spread its story out to other books. Granted, the only other book to buy here was Aquaman, but this leads me to the second problem... I just didn't care. You see, the whole Atlantis invading the land and using tidal waves to destroy cities and Aquaman having to come to terms with being the King of the Oceans and a hero and a part-time land-dweller... it's all been done before. This is a frequent complaint I have with the New 52. So the Teen Titans have to face Trigon for the first time... again? Oh no, you mean there are evil counterparts to the Justice League from another dimension? That's news to me! (More on this later).

The Trinity War followed. What a waste of time. We were led to believe that the Justice League would be fighting the US government founded Justice League of America (and for some reason Justice League Dark). It was an interesting set-up harkening back to the Justice League Unlimited plotline of the USA being distrusting of the god-like heroes who claim they were protecting them. The inevitable conflict that would arise from their confrontation would have made for a great read... and we almost got that for one part of the seven part series. The rest was a damn wild goose chase, a red herring to the advent of Forever Evil. I honestly feel lied to. Remember that Free Comic Book Day comic about the Trinity War where we saw several heroes fighting in the streets? That never happened. What about the advertisements that showed members of all three teams in a massive free-for-all? Nope, just bullshit.

I will admit, the introduction of the Crime Syndicate was cool. But the Forever Evil event... and I say event because it is a universe-wide storyline, except for several books that I guess can't be bothered (Stormwatch, the super-team tasked with the planet's protection from outside forces apparently have better things to do)... the Forever Evil event is just dragging on and on. This is turning into a year long arc that is rapidly losing steam. I was collecting it, but now I think I will just wait for a trade paperback collection... if it ends well. And to get back to my main point, this entire long storyline has left almost all the League members indisposed, so it really isn't a great Justice League story either. In fact, the book seems to just be this weird means to re-introduce other, seemingly forgotten DC properties such as Doom Patrol and The Metal Men.

You know, I want to point out that there are a hell of a lot of DC characters that could actually fight the Crime Syndicate and probably win, but for whatever reason have been dismissed. What about Apollo, Midnighter, Power Girl, Huntress, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, Starfire, Red Hood, Arsenal, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Static and virtually everyone from that Justice League International book that was cancelled? They alone would be one hell of an army! Where are all the other DC heroes? Or did Johnny Quick somehow create a time vortex that they got sucked into like the Teen Titans? (Lame.)

Now to follow with another common argument I make when bitching about the New 52... how great the Marvel Now material has been by contrast! I started reading Uncanny Avengers from the first issue because it seemed interesting and it had Havok, one of my favorite Marvel characters, leading the team. Now this book is what I was looking for from Justice League! You have heavy hitter characters like Thor, Captain America and Wolverine mixed with various (and sometimes underrated) X-book names like Havok, Rogue and Sunfire. And they have awesome storylines, kept within their book so I don't have to buy a bunch of side issues to follow the action! They have fought the Red Skull who, with the super telepathic brain of Charles Xavier grafted to his own, mentally suggests to the humans of the world to kill the newly revived mutant population. Currently, there is this insane storyline about the Apocalypse Twins that I can't even to begin to explain how awesome it is. Let's just say they had their own "Four Horsemen of Death" comprised of Banshee, Grim Reaper, Daken and the Sentry! That alone is cooler than anything I've read in that Justice League book. The Uncanny Avengers is one of those comics that reminds me why I love comics!

I will probably stick with Justice League for at least a while after the Forever Evil story concludes. The new Justice League incarnation set to follow with Lex Luthor in charge seems promising. (Though I should point out that showing us advertisements for the team featuring characters currently "fighting for their lives" kind of lets a lot of the air out of the suspenseful nature of that big story arc.) I just wish that they would get back to good storytelling like from that other universe whose years of continuity were thrown away for a gimmick and some quick sales. But hey, now our heroes are edgy assholes, so that's something... right?

Toaster's Ramblings - Trinity War and Forever Evil edition

Jonny and I bitch a lot about DC’s New 52 relaunch. It’s not that we’re just perpetual haters; it’s that they took a universe that we had come to know and love, flaws and all, and restarted it under the pretense three factors. The first is that DC wanted to make their comics easier to access by their fans. Instead of having to pick up a comic with a decade or more of back issue continuity, fans could start with issue one. The second reason was to erase the mistakes of bad writing as well as de-age all the characters to keep them younger and more relatable to the target demographic. But the main reason was of course to make money… and in that respect the New 52 has been a huge success. However, there have been tons of problems that we have had with the relaunch and its subsequent storylines.

This leads me to my main point. From the literal beginning of the New 52 and for two years since, DC has been building to the “Trinity War,” this huge battle between Justice Leagues that was going to rock the universe. I decided to give the storyline a chance. What a friggin’ let down.

The Trinity War offered little in the way of the all-out war between the Leagues (as was promised by the Free Comic Book Day promo comic). Instead, it was really just a lame wild goose chase centered on a red herring. I did, however, like the ending of the Trinity War storyline of introducing the Crime Syndicate of Earth-3 into the main DCU. But this in turn had me questioning, much like I did with Marvel’s Ultimate line ten years ago, how many new ways can you tell the same old story? How many times now has the Crime Syndicate of America been “introduced” into the main DC universe?

Moving on, there was a confusing jump where the CSA claimed that the Justice League was dead and that they (or evil) had taken over the world. Funny, I thought evil just took over the world a few years ago during the Final Crisis storyline. Huh. Obviously they aren’t really dead or else DC will have to pull something out of their asses like replace them with another alternate reality Justice League or even have to do another reboot.

Of course this lead to the new gimmick of releasing a month’s worth of villain-centric issues in place of the regular monthly titles. And just so we know that the spirit of the 90’s is still alive and kicking, DC offered those issues in neat 3D lenticular covers. I will admit that many of them looked really cool, even if they did tend to give me a headache.

I didn’t read all of the villain issues, but I have thumbed through those not in my pull box at the comic shop. They were pretty hit or miss. Some were pretty interesting, like the issues dedicated to Deadshot, Penguin, Relic and Doomsday. Others, like Deathstroke’s, Solomon Grundy’s, Darkseid and Desaad’s… not so much. The best one I read was Black Adam’s. That one not only explained his resurrection but also featured him kicking some serious ass! 

The best thing to come of these villain issues, at least with some of them, is the chance to learn what their current origins are in the New 52. Some are pretty much the same, while others like Bane’s, Cyborg Superman’s and Creeper (who apparently is now a villain) have been changed considerably. My point is that some of these issues are filling in the ambiguous origins of these villains post-reboot. That has been a major issue Jonny and I have had with the New 52.  Instead of beginning the reboot at, I don’t know… the beginning, they started the universe about 5 years in and didn’t bother to tell us what was already canon and what hadn’t “happened” yet. Worse yet, it seemed that the continuity of the Green Lantern books have carried over from before the reboot, despite much of that history not likely to have occurred? For instance, was Coast City destroyed and cause Hal Jordan to go insane and become Parallax? If not, why is Kyle Rayner around? If so, how was the universe restarted without the “big bang” created by Damage, who doesn’t seem to exist in the New 52? See what I mean? These villain issues at least give us some idea of this “lost” history.

Where the Forever Evil storyline is headed seems to be a big showdown between the Crime Syndicate versus Lex Luthor and whoever he can scrape together to back him up (shades of the original CSA story). Will it be any good? Probably not as good as what Marvel’s doing with their Infinity event. Since the Marvel Now rebranding (I don’t know what else to call it… it’s not a reboot) they have been doing some cool stuff. I find myself far more excited to read Uncanny Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Nova and Deadpool than I am any of the DC titles I have subscribed to at the comic shop. Maybe it’s time for another reboot.

Live Action Casting - The Justice League

I had really meant to have this up last month but life got in the way, especially in the last week. (See, if I had one of those Black Lantern rings that wouldn't be an issue!)  So, here we are with the culmination of our months long project... the Justice League movie.

The roster for the Justice League is as follows:

Man of Steel has already established Henry Cavill here (in all his crotch bulging goodness) as Supermen...

and Ryan "2 Flops in 1 Week" Reynolds as Green Lantern.

Here are the other members we introduced in earlier Live Action Castings:

Alexander Skarsgard as Aquaman

Gina Carano as Wonder Woman

Patrick Wilson as The Flash

and Armie Hammer as Batman (which seems doubtful since he apparently doesn't want to play him.)

In this movie we would also add Cyborg to complete the current New 52 Justice League...

For Cyborg we pick Michael B. Jordan. Its funny because we picked him long before we heard he was chosen to voice Cyborg in the "Flashpoint Paradox" animated movie that just came out! We loved him from Parenthood, though. His performance in Chronicle only sweetens the casting for me.

Now for the main villain of the film, we are going back to the puppet master from Wonder Woman's movie Ares, played by Javier Bardem.

But Justice League will feature three other villains. The first is Maxwell Lord...

We want Luke Evans for Maxwell Lord. You may recognize him from Immortals or as the bad guy from Fast and Furious 6. He's a good actor and can play the master manipulating millionaire businessman with ties to the clandestine government organization Checkmate.

The second is Professor Ivo...

Michael C. Hall seems like a great candidate to play the twisted genius Professor Ivo. Granted, Ivo's role in the movie would be limited, it would establish him for future movies... possibly involving a certain "amazing" android?

The third isn't so much a villain but a whole mess of villains...

The OMACs, an army of robotic soldiers created to neutralize metahumans, will play a major role in the movie.

What follows is just a basic idea for the plot that Jonny and I came up with. If I were to actually write this, it would have to be enhanced greatly, with locations and subplots, to be a fully functioning story. We think its a great concept, so without further ado, here is what we came up with...

The movie would begin in S.T.A.R. labs where Dr. Stone is working with Professor Ivo are working on a breakthrough in Artificial Intelligence. Stone's son Vic (the future Cyborg) comes to speak to his father when an explosion occurs in the lab. Vic is mortally wounded and Ivo is (seemingly) killed with much of the research destroyed. Dr. Stone quickly uses what robotic technology he has save his son's life.

While at a fancy humanitarian fundraiser Maxwell Lord seeks out Bruce Wayne to offer him the "oppurtunity" to get in on the ground floor by helping to fund what he calls "a worldwide peace-keeping deterrent."  He won't divulge any further details but does admit to already having a major benefactor. Whane Wayne asks "Who, Luthor?" Lord replies "Bigger." Wayne politely rejects the offer until he can know more about the project. Lord walks away with a smirk. His nose begins bleeding, but he immediately stops the flow with a handkerchief.

Soon after, blue robots begin to attack various metahumans like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash and Green Lantern. All of these robots feature adaptive means of taking on their opponents such as being equipped to to match Aquaman's speed and strength underwater while resisting deep ocean pressures. A robot takes on Superman, matching his immense strength, speed and durability. Batman shows up (I am assuming they would be friends by the end of Man of Steel 2) to disarm the robot with an EM Pulse grenade. Batman and Superman investigate the source of these robots.

It is revealed that Maxwell Lord has quickly risen up the ranks in the clandestine Checkmate organization and become its Black Bishop. Lord has been displaying the power of the OMAC project to other leaders of Checkmate (the various attacks on heroes, the OMACs sight capabilities also record what they see). He claims it to be a project to subdue the rising threats that metahumans have to the rest of the world. Lord goes onto explain that with the 'generous' permission to use of WayneTech's satellite, they can provide worldwide coverage.The White Bishop (Amanda Waller) is suspicious and decides to investigate Lord's newfound status and plans.

Superman and Batman follow the clues to S.T.A.R. labs where they meet the rebuilt Vic Stone (Cyborg), his new body built using the OMAC technology that was being developed. Vic is helping with the clean-up and efforts to get the advanced laboratory back online, partially by his own accessing of the computer systems to recover lost or damaged files. Vic tells his father as well as Superman and Batman that there seems to a lot of files missing concerning the manufacture and artificial intelligence research his father and Ivo had been working on. A small group of OMACs appear and fighting breaks out. Cyborg ends up being helpful in the battle. Cyborg should accompany Superman and him in order to stop the robotic menace.

Maxwell Lord arrives at his massive OMAC building factory and a massive super-computer to coordinate them. It is revealed that Professor Ivo survived the explosion, though not without suffering disfiguring injuries. The mysterious benefactor, remaining in shadows, tells Lord that he obtained Ivo along with the research necessary. Now it Lord up to him to get the Brother Eye system online. Maxwell Lord states that not only everything is going according to plan, but he is stepping up the attacks on metahumans. With this, Lord launches several more OMACs.

An OMAC attacks Green Lantern when Flash intervenes. They work together to defeat the robot. Wonder Woman arrives in Metropolis seeking Superman's help against the increasing robot attacks. Another OMAC appears and after a brief battle, is grabbed by the tentacles of a giant squid and smashed to bits by a blue whale... signaling the arrival of Aquaman.

Amanda Waller and an army of Checkmate agents storm Maxwell Lord's OMAC facility, citing suspicion of psychic persuasion on her fellow agents and superiors, evidenced by Lord's repeated nosebleeds after every encounter (an earlier scene would have shown Waller reviewing video records from the Checkmate 'Castle' headquarters). With a smile, Lord confesses. He is about to launch a swarm of OMACs on Waller and company when the benefactor stops him; he steps out into the open (revealing to the audience that he is Ares). The God of War decides to take them on by himself, something he hasn't had the joy of doing in quite some time. Ares kills the entire Checkmate squad by himself but only wounds Waller so that she might be able to witness the fall of man before she takes her final breath. Maxwell Lord, in a state of shock, wonders who his benefactor really is. Ares tells him that he is a God and that mortal men such as he should know that loyal servitude is the only thing that will keep his head attached to his neck. Then Ares commands Lord to launch an OMAC attack on Checkmate's Castle headquarters, resulting in an awesome, but one-sided battle that sees most of Checkmate killed... all witnessed by Waller. The OMACs then access Checkmate's computer files on every metahuman in the world.

Our details get a little hazy here. I'm not sure where Maxwell Lord's headquarters is nor where the future League members should congregate (probably Metropolis). Batman will find out that his alter ego Bruce Wayne actually did supply the information for his company's satellite to get jacked by Ivo and Lord, due to the latter placing a mental suggestion in Wayne at the fundraiser. The satellite aligns with Brother Eye's coordinates and activates 10,000 OMACs, which Ares has launched to attack every metahuman from the Checkmate files. Superman, Batman, Cyborg, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash and Green Lantern are forced to team up to both launch an assault on Lord's OMAC complex and fight off hundreds of the robots. There will also be scenes from around the world of other metahumans battling OMACs such as Booster Gold, Hawkman, Zatanna, Plastic Man, Shazam and more (setting the stage for more movies!).

After defeating a few hundred OMACs, the Justice League is met by Ares, whom Wonder Woman instantly recognizes and attacks. The God of War knocks her into a building, then proceeds to explain to the others that his strength increases when there is conflict across the Earth. Since the age of Gods ended centuries ago, he has been far weaker. Humans can only generate so much of the violent energies he needs to thrive, so he laid low and sowed the seeds for all out global conflict. (He almost succeeded twice.) Recently, he found that the rise of metahumans has brought him strength not felt since those days of old. Basically, with his newfound strength and invincibility, he's going to conquer the world of men.

Ares magically summons his full armor and takes on Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Aquaman in a huge fight that sees the God of War holding his own against them all. Batman takes on Maxwell Lord in a distraction so Cyborg can break into Brother Eye and disable the OMACs. Not sure how, but the good guys win (really not sure how Ares will be stopped, but I would want him to return in a third Wonder Woman movie called "Fall of the Amazons" cuz that sounds awesome!). Cyborg disables the OMACs, Batman kicks the crap out of Maxwell Lord, Professor Ivo escapes. More shots of other super heroes having defeated OMACs or just fighting them when the robot shuts down. Waller is rescued, but it implies she now has a deep distrust for metahumans. In the end, the Justice League forms.

Look for future installments of Live Action Casting that will feature some of those other superheroes in the DCU. Until then, Stay Strange.

Toaster's Ramblings - San Diego Comic Con Edition

So the San Diego Comic Con has ended. What was once an actual convention involving comic books has now become little more than a pop culture drive-by shooting. Its like Cannes for geeks, except instead of showing films, we get clips and Q & A panels. Once upon a time Jonny Prophet and I wanted to attend SDCC, but now it seems like a clusterfuck... nothing but crowds and lines and the desperation to be part of something limited to a few hundred seats or a few thousand exclusive copies. Not really our cup of tea.

As with any SDCC season, we are left with lots of news and trailers and such. I figured I would touch on a few tidbits and highlights that stuck out to me this year.

- Bryan Cranston is a freakin' genius! He attends the convention dressed as his character Breaking Bad Walter White! Nobody is going to expect the guy wearing the Bryan Cranston mask to actually be Bryan Cranston! But now that this trick was revealed, I just fret that future attendees doing cosplay might be assaulted by ravenous fans. Remember, just because he's wearing the Spider-man outfit doesn't mean its actually Spider-man.

- In speaking of Spider-man, Fox is just pumping out those films, aren't they? As long as they are as good as Amazing Spider-man, I'm okay with them squeezing out every last drop of life before they lose the franchise to "the Mouse."

- I call bullshit on Hasbro releasing the first of their 6 inch Star Wars figures (something I have wanted for years) as a SDCC exclusive. I call even bigger bullshit that its Boba Fett! WTF?! Okay, sure they said Fett would be re-released in the exact same colors in Wave 2 of the actual set, but come on! Plus, I doubt that one will have Han Solo in carbonite! Now I just have to wait for Wave 2 and not give into the temptation to drop a hundred or more on the exclusive. (I'm not that strong, dammit!)

- DC comics is apparently dropping 4 comic lines from its 52 line-up. They claim to be unable to support that many lines at once (Jonny and I think that number to be a lot lower... like around 30, but nevertheless). So now they can't be the New 52 anymore. Now what do I call them? How about the "Oh, Great... 48"? I think it can catch on.

- So the Thanos clip at the end of Avengers was for Guardians of the Galaxy? I guess that's cool. Kind of an odd cast. We have buff Andy Dwyer as Star-Lord, Batista as green Batista... I mean Drax the Destroyer. (Oh, Mr. Bautista? I'm sorry, Drax might be able to take Thor, but no way he can beat Hulk. Not gonna happen.) Michael "Merle Dixon" Rooker as Yondu? Yondu was part of the future GotG team! Lee Pace, the pie maker from Pushing Daisies, is Ronan the Accuser? That's just weird to me. Benicio Del Toro is awesome, but I don't know about him as the Collector. The whole time I'll have "flashbacks" to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. (As your attorney I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my suitcase.) Zoe Saldana as Gamora is probably the best casting I have heard for the flick.  

- So GotG is going to have the team itself along with Ronan the Accuser, another Kree Accuser (whose name I forget and don't feel like looking up), Nebula, The Collector and Thanos? I hope this doesn't get too bogged down. Hmmm. I wonder if Fox has the rights to the Shi'ar since they were affiliated with the X-men?

- BTW, Karen Gillan with a shaved head? Still hot.

- I'm cool with Avengers 2 being 'The Age of Ultron', but I've heard that Dr. Henry Pym is not Ultron's creator. Considering that Pym is getting his own movie soon (Ant Man) that's just stupid. Why not introduce him early on? Please don't tell me Tony Stark made Ultron. Iron Man does not have to be the center of the Avengers universe you know! Wait, do you think the dunce cap wearing robo-arm that Stark has evolves into the human hating Ultron all because Tony was an asshole to it? Now that would be karma!

- I'm glad that Warner Bros. is not releasing Justice League in 2015 like I had heard, but 2017 isn't that much better when (unless they plan to count the Green Lantern flop) Man of Steel is the first movie leading to it! And Superman vs Batman in Man of Steel 2? I'm not sure how that will work, both in making sure Batman doesn't come across as a villain and him actually fighting the most powerful man on Earth. It does seem desperate, though. Sad that the only DC Superhero movie currently planned between 2015's Man of Steel 2 and 2017's Justice League is The Flash. I guess Wonder Woman and Aquaman will have to pop up real quick in Justice League. I'm sure it won't take long to explain the Amazonian warrior princess demigod and the half Atlantean king in a 120 minute movie... just so long as there isn't a villain. (The first movie is about them becoming a team. You'll have to wait for the sequel for them to fight anyone.) 

- X-men: Days of Futures Past looks more and more like it will be a train wreck. Jonny and I both cringed at Right after Bryan Singer took over for First Class director Matthew Vaughn, he made Jonny and I cringe upon saying "Days of Futures Past is going to fix the problems with First Class." What problems, Bryan? Okay, there was a little bit of continuity problems like Alex "Havok" Summers being Cyclop's younger brother who was in the 60's before Scott was born or Emma Frost being an adult in the 60's and a kid in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But beyond those, First Class was the best of all the X-men films as far as Jonny and I are concerned. Honestly, Mr. Singer, I would be more concerned with fixing the problems of X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Those movies had real problems.

And now I will leave you with this simple message from your lord and master... Loki.

All hail Loki.

Prophet and Toaster’s Weird Heroclix Teams

When an established superhero dies, it leaves a void that that is sometimes filled by a newcomer taking up the mantle. Perhaps this person was a sidekick or maybe just inspired. Sometimes they are chosen somehow by universal forces beyond their understanding. Whatever the case, they have big shoes to fill as…

The Replacements

We begin with who could arguably be the leader of this group, Dick Grayson. After Bruce Wayne was believed to be dead, but in reality was just a dumb storyline where he was wandering through time, Dick Grayson decided to honor his mentor and wear the cape and cowl. The DC 75^th Batman, the only one as Grayson, is a great, well-rounded piece with Charge that turns to Flurry, free Smoke Cloud, Flight and back dial Perplex. (There will be a lot of Perplex on this team, never a bad thing!) Overall, it’s a solid Batman, regardless of who is under the mask.

Next up is who I would think of as second in command. Much like Batman, everyone thought Captain America died, but I guess Steve Rogers was trapped in a dimension or some bullshit like that. I honestly don’t care and would have left him dead as it paved the way for “Buck-Cap.” James Buchanan Barnes AKA Bucky AKA Winter Soldier took up the red, white and blue mantle of his good friend by becoming the new Captain America. To save points and keep the build under 800 points, I decided to go with the Gravity Feed version of Buck-Cap. For fifty points, he is an ass-kicking piece with Charge, Flurry, Close Combat Expert and a 6 range. With a little perplex and someone using Telekinesis to move Buck-Cap into battle, this most-likely overlooked piece will do some damage! But who will supply the TK?

How about the guy who for a time was the only Green Lantern after Hal Jordan went all Parallaxy? (By the way, that’s totally a word now!) The Kyle Rayner piece I am choosing is from DC 75. He comes with front loaded Perplex, Indomitable and free Telekinesis when he has no action tokens. Plus he can transport the entire team with his Green Lantern Team Ability. It’s a great version of Rayner, despite Jonny Prophet’s irrational hatred toward him. Hey, at least when Kyle was possessed by Parallax he didn’t cause a crappy cross-over storyline that only further muddled the continuity of DC comics!

Ahem… moving on. When Barry Allen sacrificed himself to save the Multi-verse, “Kid Flash” Wally West graduated from sidekick status to become the new Flash. And now he doesn’t exist. Seriously? What the hell, New 52? Anyways, the DC 10^th series gave us a great version of the Wally West Flash. Beyond the obvious Hypersonic Speed, he sports Perplex and 2 special powers; the first giving him Charge, Flurry and Exploit Weakness and the other granting him a version of “Armor Piercing.” In other news, I am considering building a team of major characters who don’t exist in the New 52. (Seriously, they have 5 human Green Lanterns but couldn’t find a place for Wally West or Donna Troy?)

Next up is Hawkeye… Girl Hawkeye that is! Kate Bishop didn’t have super powers so she took up the identity of the (then) deceased Avengers sharpshooter. Even though Hawkeye returned from the dead, she still was allowed to keep the name. And hey, there’s a Young Avengers book out! Everything’s coming up roses! Girl Hawkeye has an impressive 8 range with Running Shot and the Special Power to Perplex her own stats. With the rest of the Perplex on this team to increase her attack, range and damage she could be one deadly sniper.

It took a while before Bruce Wayne let Tim Drake to fill the void left by the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd. Upon becoming the sidekick to the Batman, Drake took the name Red Robin… actually just Robin (The New 52 can suck it). His version from Arkham Asylum is both point efficient and provides some necessary Outwit right off the bat (ha!), Leap/Climb to get into position as well as Stealth to stay hidden courtesy of the Batman Team Ability. Beyond that he has 6 range with 2 targets, Smoke Cloud, Incapacitate, Perplex and more Outwit at the end of his dial. With a little Telekinesis, he can be easily placed into battle if needed. But there couldn’t possibly be more TK, could there?

Why, yes there is… brought to you by the clone of Superman and Lex Luthor. Just don’t call him Superboy! Well, I guess we have to since Superman returned from the dead (spoiler from 19 years ago!). Anyways, I chose the Reign of the Supermen version of Kon-El because it was the point where he considered himself the new Superman. In speaking of Superman, he has the Superman Team Ability which can allow him to see through opponent Stealth. He also brings with him front loaded “tactile” Telekinesis, Charge, Perplex (shocking, I know), Super Strength, Invulnerability and Close Combat Expert at various points of his dial. So just like with Kyle Rayner, you get to keep a heavy back to position others until you need him to join the fray.

The last two amazingly have kept their inherited mantles as their predecessors have (gasp) stayed dead! The first is the new Spider-man of the Ultimate universe Miles Morales. His is a simple dial with Charge and Super Strength right from the start and a trait that gives him Stealth. His modest damage stats can easily be enhanced by the abundance of Perplex on the team so like BuckCap, this rookie Spider-man can be a cheap bruiser.

The other superhero whose predecessor never miraculously came back from the dead (without a Black Lantern ring) is Blue Beetle. After Ted Kord was killed, the Scarab found a new host in teenager Jaime Reyes and unlocked its true potential. This piece should be pretty useful with Running Shot, Penetrating/Psychic Blast, Pulse Wave and the always painful Mystics Team Ability. Blue Beetle also features a one-time damage evading power, the possibility of using Blades/Claws/Fangs and self Probability Control.

You know, it’s kind of sad that out of these 9 replacement heroes, only 2 of their predecessors did not come back to life. Anyways, our build looks like this:

Captain America (CA 205) - 50

Batman (DC75 031) - 77

Blue Beetle (D10A 009) - 94

Flash (D10A 010) - 105

Kyle Rayner (DC75) – 169

Hawkeye (SI) - 57

Robin (AA) - 79

Spider-man (ASM 039) - 34

Superboy (SM) – 125

---------------------------

790

This leaves 10 points left for Feats or Relics. Given the lack of Probability Control on this team, maybe having the Reality Gem added to make an even 800 points could be useful (as long as one of your pieces rolls a 5 or 6). I haven’t had a chance to play this team yet, but with the all that Perplex, I predict it will kick serious butt.

Until next time, stay strange. 

Toaster's Ramblings... End of 2012 Edition

So 2012 is about to come to an end. In some ways it was a big year full of change and in other ways it is just the same old shit.

The Summer Olympics were the irritating waste of time they always are, essentially being a competition between the US and China for medals… how exciting. The United States went through the most annoying and vicious election season I have ever heard of and in the end… nothing really changed. In fact, our lawmakers are just as gridlocked now as they were last year and I don’t see that changing in 2013. Same old, same old.

Television was the same as always. Cable shows, while still better than network shows, remain under-appreciated in lieu of mind-numbing schlock like crime procedurals, high-end karaoke contests and reality shows about horrible people doing stupid things. A few shows ended such as Chuck, a show I seldom watched, and House, which if you ask me ended a few years too late. Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 showed us that there’s more to James Van Der Beek than Dawson and obscurity thereafter. Nothing really monumental happened on the small screen.

The Hollywood trend of exploiting comic books for blockbusters has continued in stride with The Avengers making a gajillion dollars (that’s a kadillion more than a fazillion!). Chris Nolen’s Dark Knight Trilogy ended in controversial style; people seem pretty divided on their feelings about The Dark Knight Rises.”  Sony gave Disney the middle finger by restarting their Spider-man franchise with a well received hit movie, thus ensuring Marvel Films will be without their figurehead web-slinging character for years to come.

However, Disney was able to console themselves by buying Star Wars in their latest bid to own every aspect of my childhood. (They don’t own Mattel yet, do they? I’m not sure I can handle a crossover with Mickey Mouse and He-Man!) Just as soon as the ink dried on the contract, Disney announced plans for Episodes 7 through 9, beginning with a projected release on 2015… the same year as Avengers 2. With all the money they make from those two movies, Disney will then buy the moon and build Lunar Disneyland or Disney Universe or something. (“The Happiest Place Orbiting Earth”)

Marvel Comics did their"not a reboot" called Marvel Now because, I suspect, all the good names were taken. Aside from bringing back the mutant population and a bunch of new X-Men and Avenger titles, I don't know what all is different. I will say that so far the Uncanny Avengers book is pretty good. The new Deadpool book co-written by comedian Brian Posehn is awesome. DC Comics continued the New 52, which isn't nearly so new. The luster of rebooting their entire universe is wearing away as the realities of throwing away decades of continuity are setting in.

We lost a lot of cool people this year, such as Ernest Borgnine, Jack Klugman, Ravi Shankar, Davy Jones, Maurice Sendak, Andy Griffith, Sherman Helmsley, Phyllis Diller and the first man to walk of the freakin’ moon Neil Armstrong! We need to stop letting these cool people die. Perhaps we can create some kind of cloning device and transfer aging celebrity brains into them or something. We can’t afford to lose the likes of William Shatner, Christopher Lee, Leonard Nemoy, Bob Barker or Stan Lee!

The music industry continued its slow death at the hands of the internet. Soon there will be no stores, only warehouses to send people packages they ordered online. And everything will be sent by pneumatic tubes and we will drink recycled urine and eat Soylent Green… IT’S PEOPLE I TELL YOU, PEOPLE! I still refuse to commit entirely to the MP3 downloadable music format. I still like CD’s. I like having a permanent hard copy of my music with song liners with lyrics and pictures. MP3 albums don’t seem real to me, probably because they aren’t tangible. I do download music pretty regularly, but its mainly stuff that I am sure I can’t find in stores or just the random individual song that I don’t want to buy the whole album to get.

Nintendo’s newest console, the Wii U, launched shortly before Thanksgiving. I’m still not sure anyone noticed. I got one for Christmas (from Lil’ Toaster) that is still sitting in it’s box, next to me, as I wait for a cord or something in the mail to hook it up to the HD TV. I don’t know. This is Tivo-Girl’s domain. I just sit around and look pretty.

I don’t know how well the Wii U will do versus Playstation and X-Box, but I don’t have a lot of faith in it’s success. For one thing, the advertising for the Wii U was abysmal! I swear, I didn’t see a commercial for the Wii U until the beginning of November two weeks before its release! Now I get that gamers are well informed of these things and I knew about it for a couple of years, but what about the casual gamers? Hell, what about getting the kids excited for it before Christmas? A $300 game system (for the basic unit) is something a kid has to work at with his/her parents (through summer at least) to convince them to pay that much to buy it for them, let alone any games!

On a personal level, 2012 has been a monumental year for me. In May, Tivo-Girl and I welcomed our first child… who (for the purposes of cyberspace) is known as Toaster Jr. or perhaps Little Toaster. Either one works, really. I will just refer to him anyway I feel like whenever I bring him up. Maybe someday I will call him ‘Little Ivan Drago’…but only if his first words are “I must break you.” From then on, naptime will be purely on a voluntary basis.

And as for Jonny Prophet… I imagine that he is still hard at work in his lair developing some sort of super weapon to destroy all birds. Thankfully, between surfing the web and the hundreds of cable channels at his fingertips, he’s usually too distracted to do anything more than send me videos of ostriches getting mauled by tigers or try to petition the nation of Australia to restart the Great Emu War.

Hopefully 2013 will be good… maybe less mediocre (beyond, of course, the whole baby being born thing). Anyways, have a Happy New Year… unless you are Chinese, then you have to wait a month. Or if you’re Hebrew and you already had yours in September... in which case, how is 5773 going for you?

Stay Strange this 2013.

Prophet & Toaster's Weird Heroclix Teams

Jonny Prophet and I both play Heroclix. We love to create unique teams based on weird ideas or themes and then try them out… often times against other weird teams. So I thought every so often I would share one of these forces to give all you Clixers some new ideas and inspirations next time you want to play a fun game. I am starting with one of our favorite teams… the Dark Justice League.

Not to be confused with the New 52’s Justice League Dark, the Dark Justice League was inspired by Marvel’s Dark Avengers. Jonny and Prophet and I have debated and play tested many candidates to join the team and this is the best one we came up with. So let’s imagine that DC went the same direction as Marvel during the “Dark Reign” event and the bad guys took over. Who would join a villainous version of the Justice League posing as their heroic counterparts? This is our line-up:

First off, I would assume that this new version of the Justice League would be formed by Lex Luthor (much like how Norman Osborn is now Marvel’s Lex Luthor). I have gone with the soon to be released updated version of Lex Luthor in his Battlesuit in the DC 10^th (Heroclix) anniversary set. This allows him to be a threat when on the battlefield and also brings a similarity to the robo-armored Iron Patriot.

Now Luthor would need to find someone who hates Superman to be his field leader and Man of Steel imposter. I imagine he could convince Zod to not so much work for him but to work with him. Plus, you just know that both would be plotting their own betrayal. I have gone with the only true Zod made in Heroclix, the super rare from the Superman set.

I am not really sure if Luthor could convince the Wonder Woman hating sorceress Circe to work for him, what with her hatred of men. However, Luthor is good at striking deals with powerful beings (i.e. Brainiac). I bet he could sign her on as a Wonder Woman imposter, perhaps with the promise that she could punish some loathsome males in the process.

The imposter for Batman was a topic of lots of debate and uncertainty… then it dawned on me. Lex Luthor could totally hire Deathstroke to work as his Batman and get him to dress in an interpretation of the Caped Crusader. Hell, Deathstroke is a mercenary after all. Plus, he hates Batman! Not to mention, few on the planet (save for Batman himself) can go toe to toe with Slade Wilson. It’s a slam dunk if you ask me, especially when you use the amazingly effective new Deathstroke from the Justice League 52 gravity feed set!

Zoom is kind of a no-brainer for Flash, being the Reverse Flash and all. Luthor could convince him to “replace” the Scarlet Speedster with ease. Now, I’m not sure if he would be “Professor Zoom” Eobard Thawne or Wally West’s version of Zoom as Hunter Zolomon. But both are similar in power to the Arkham Asylum Zoom, so I would just go with that.

For a while I went with a yellow ringed version of Sinestro as Green Lantern, but in the New 52 he is a Green Lantern, so now I am going with the great movie version from the Green Lantern Gravity Feed set. I’m guessing Luthor could sign up Sinestro if it meant he could disgrace his former protégé and nemesis Hal Jordan… or get some semblance of power over humans. That way Luthor can say he’s the Green Lantern of the new Justice League and guess what? He is.

I’m going to be honest here… the weak link of this team is making Ocean Master the new Aquaman. I didn’t want Black Manta because he just isn’t right, plus I don’t think he can do what Arthur Curry does anyway. I had considered King Shark, but Jonny brought up that Luthor needs to pass him off to the public as the ‘new’ Aquaman. You can’t do that with a big shark man. But Luthor could easily convince Arthur Curry’s jealous half-brother to usurp his Aquaman persona and being basically human, he could look the part. So we went with the DC 75^th Anniversary set’s Ocean Master. He’s alright, not great though. The best he has to offer is probability control if he is in the water.

Lastly, since he is now a part of the New 52’s Justice League, I have to replace Cyborg. One might suggest Brainiac, but Luthor would want someone he can control. He would know that Brainiac would just be bad news. (The way Osborn should have known that convincing the Void to possess Sentry to do his dirty work would end badly. But hey, nobody said Norman was as smart as Lex!) So the easiest fit and most logical would be someone who has worked for Luthor before… Metallo. Now what’s great is that the newer Metallo isn’t just a cyborg with a Kryptonite heart. He can morph his body, meld with machinery and even control computers! He is basically an evil version of Cyborg! And the Brave and the Bold version of Metallo is plenty evil enough to round out this team.

So here they are… your Dark Justice League!

(D10A020) ‘Battlesuit’ Lex Luthor (analog to Iron Patriot/Norman Osborn) – 160

(SM053) Zod (as Superman) - 188

(AA045) Circe (as Wonder Woman) – 149

(JL52020) Deathstroke (as Batman) – 120

(AA036) Zoom (as Flash) - 130

(GLGF005) Sinestro (as Green Lantern) - 135

(AN027) Ocean Master (as Aquaman) - 65

(BB033) Metallo (as Cyborg) - 182

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1129 out of 1200 (71 points left for feats)

Try having them go up against the New 52 Justice League (probably minus Lex) or have them all fight the theme worded (1183 point) Dark Avengers team.

Until next time, stay strange.

The Saga begins