Batman Vs Superman - Dawn of Bitching (a Ranting Review)

So many thoughts... where do I begin. I suppose I will start with the positives. I didn't hate Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice. It's gotten a lot of bad reviews and I can see why in many cases. However, I set my expectations pretty low and as such I think I enjoyed it more than many others did.

Okay, that's not the best compliment really.

There were many things I really liked about BVS... which when I use those abbreviations I instantly think Buffy the Vampire Slayer. How about BvS... yeah, that's better. BvS had a lot of great fight sequences and action, which is a given for any Zack Snyder movie. Likewise, it was pretty visually sound. Good special effects, explosions, set designs...  stuff like that.

I thought Ben Affleck did a good job as Bruce Wayne and Batman. Many will disagree with this and they are entitled to their opinions. I think he brought a believable personality to a grizzled veteran Batman, bringing brooding and intensity where needed while able to pull off the occasional Bruce Wayne alter ego for appearances. I am speaking just for the portrayal, not the actions of the character... which I will get into later.

Gal Gadot's performance as Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman was one of the bright spots of the film. She pulled off the mysterious woman part and brought a level of charisma to her alter ego. One of my favorite moments was when she was at Lex Luthor's gala and he is rambling on about how Prometheus stole fire from Zeus. Diana Prince rolls her eyes as if saying "Dude, I was there, that's not how it went down!" I don't know if that was intentional but I thought it was great.

Gadot especially shined as Wonder Woman. She wasn't in her armor for long in the film but it definitely left an impact. She brought a battle intensity and warrior. One of the best lines in the movie was when told Doomsday was from another world she replies "I've killed things from other worlds before." Just all nonchalantly. I also love when she was battling Doomsday, beyond her war cry and warrior approach to battle. I especially loved that part where she gets knocked away by the monster and she gets that grin like "finally a worthy opponent!"  It makes me excited for the Wonder Woman movie next year.

There were a few little things I liked. I like how they introduced Kryptonite. It makes it much more plausible that the stuff would be more available than the meteorite theory in the comics. I really liked how people's complaints about the extreme violence in Man of Steel was the driving force of the plot of BvS. That was clever. I also thought our 24-7 news cycle, (which by the way was also in The Dark Knight Returns, one of the inspirations of this movie), played a big part in the conveying public opinion and brought an interesting feel to their world. I did think it was weird, though, seeing real life newscasters like Anderson Cooper and Soledad O'Brien instead of DC news characters like Vicki Vale and Jack Ryder (aka The Creeper).

I will also say that the actually fight between Batman and Superman was pretty well done. It was brutal, yet methodical. I thought it was a better personification of such a battle than we would have actually gotten to be honest. Yes, an amoral Superman would kill Batman like nothing, but when Bruce gets a chance to plan ahead, all bets are off. It seemed pretty believable the way it went down.

Then we move on to some of the less good things about the movie. I'll start with a small one. For some reason it was shown that Metropolis and Gotham City are across a bay from each other. Um... no. They are close in the way that Philadelphia is close to New York City, but they're certainly not twin cities! It makes even less sense if you stop to consider how these cities would have formed. Most likely one, probably Gotham, would have had a booming population while the other was left smaller. At that point, Gotham would have likely absorbed Metropolis into it. At the very least you would have a Dallas-Fort Worth situation where one major city bleeds into the next. Like I said, small but I wanted to point it out.

As I feared, there was a lot going on in the movie. This at times felt way too much like Amazing Spider-man 2. BvS kept shouting out to everyone "HEY! We're making more movies! We're doing a Justice League movie! Hey! Check it out, a Justice League cameo!" The "meta human files" felt really forced. I would have much preferred to be introduced to Flash, Aquaman (or as we like to call him... Aqua-Drogo!) and Cyborg through films, not 30 second clips. It means Justice League will have that much more work to do in introducing a super fast kid, the King of Atlantis and a cybernetic guy... okay the last one isn't tough. But consider how much time we have to waste on them rather than developing the plot and villain.

 I am still unsure why Lex Luthor wanted Batman dead. Maybe he figured two birds with one stone. His reasoning with Superman made sense. Batman didn't seem like that big a deal to his world, the only connection between them was that terrorist Russian guy. 

Speaking of Lex Luthor, Jesse Eisenberg's performance was... interesting. I will admit that he wasn't as bad as I thought he'd be. He was actually pretty captivating on screen. However, this is not a Lex Luthor I would be intimidated by. This is Lex Luthor if he appeared in the Adam West Batman series! He was a conniving manipulator, but he never had any confidence.

Remember in Now You See Me when Jesse Eisenberg told Mark Ruffalo? "Always be the smartest guy in the room." That was more of a Lex Luthor moment than nearly anything I saw of him in BvS. I kept remembering Gene Hackman's amazing performances as Luthor in the older Superman films. This was a guy that was confident that he was the smartest guy in the room. He wasn't a babbling, mumbling all over the place weirdo. When he said he was the greatest criminal mastermind the world has ever known, you'd believe it! I kept hoping that Eisenberg's wacky performance was just a Trojan Horse, that he's pull out a Kaiser Soze moment and suddenly reveal himself as someone truly threatening... it never happened. He had a good plan and some good moments, but I could never take him seriously.

Yes, I am holding firm to my belief that Ultron from last year's Avengers movie made for a better Lex Luthor than Jesse Eisenberg!

There was one major problem that I had with the film is that Batman is kind of a hypocrite. This goes beyond Bat-fleck using guns, which is an extremely strict no-no for the character. Batman accuses Superman of being careless and reckless, using his God-like powers as he pleases at the potential catastrophic detriment of mankind, as evidenced by the end battle with General Zod. The only problem is that in BvS, Batman repeatedly causes copious amounts of collateral damage in his vigilante pursuits. In one scene he is chasing down a secret LexCorp delivery of Kryptonite, during which he lays waste to vehicles and buildings, pretty much anything in his way, to get what he wants... and yes, this includes killing a lot of bad guys.

Near the end of the movie, he lures Doomsday over to Gotham City! He's seen the amount of damage the monster can do, but he thinks it is a good idea to bring the monster toward a populated area. I understand he was trying to retrieve the Kryptonite spear to try to kill it, but he could have had someone else get it and bring it to him! See, the whole using your powers responsibly goes both ways. Batman doesn't have powers, but he has a hell of a lot of weapons and vehicles which compensate and sometimes exceeds the abilities of those with super powers.

Warning: You are now entering the Spoiler Zone! If you haven't seen BvS yet, you might want to stop reading NOW!

About Bruce's dream... I get it was supposed to be some kind of foreshadowing, but it was just an incoherent mess. Watching the movie, I wasn't sure if it was meant to be prophetic or just Bruce's warped paranoid vision of the future. Though seeing those parademons was awesome... they look cool.

Then I guess he was visited by the Flash... I think? I assume it was and most others do as well, but he didn't look like any Flash I had ever seen! Is that going to be his costume for Justice League? I'm confused.

So Lex adding his blood to Zod's corpse made Doomsday? That means that if Superman and Lois Lane ever had a child, it would be a horrible monster, right? Yes, I know the ship had the rejuvenation thing or whatever that was, but the fundamental building blocks of the "abomination" were human DNA spliced with Kryptonian. I'm just saying...

Just as Batman is about to deal the fatal blow to Superman, he exclaims that "They're going to kill Martha!" I get that they wanted to connect Bruce and Clark to unite them, but why wouldn't Superman have said "They're going to kill my mom!" Why at that moment did he call her by her real name? I call bullshit on that!

As for how it ended... I have gotten the feeling that Warner Bros. has wanted to kill Superman for a while. Before Superman Returns their was talk of doing a movie of The Death of Superman. Even Superman Returns teased killing him. So I guess they've finally done it. Kind of an odd way to start the Justice League franchise.

Why does Martha Kent have Clark's funeral at her house... does Smallville not have a funeral home? That is such an outdated custom. And... okay, I have to say it... bagpipes? Really? Why bagpipes? Kent doesn't strike me as a Scottish last name. It just struck me as weird for some reason.

Lastly, Jonny and I hope that they are setting up Darkseid to be the bad guy in Justice League (it is heavily implied). We think Darkseid may resurrect Superman and if so, he could be the bad guy of the Justice League Part 1... like the Elseworlds story Dark Side Superman! That would be awesome!

So in closing, I don't think BvS is as bad as many reviews would suggest. It was entertaining. It could have benefitted from more humor. Lex Luthor as your main source of comic relief is weird. The biggest problem I see with the movie is that in a film where the characters are trying to find their humanity, the movie itself has little humanity within.

I am getting a general impression of Zack Snyder's DC movie universe. It's bleak, dark, extremely violent and full of superheroes that frankly don't give a shit. Batman freely brands criminals or outright kills his enemies with guns. Superman, who doesn't seem to give a fuck about Truth, Justice and the American Way, is willing to risk the lives of countless people if Lois is at risk. Wonder Woman would rather go into exile for nearly a century than fight to bring peace to the warring world of man. I fret to see how dark Flash and Aquaman's films are.

It's a huge contrast to the Marvel films. Marvel's movies feel like they are set in our world. The characters tend to feel real. Superman and Batman feel like archetypes that are always bogged down in their own drama. The key here is that Marvel films don't to take themselves too seriously.  It allows them more wiggle room in their own epic story as well as the potential for humor. Not everything can or should be the serious, dark tone of Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight. Warner Brothers, Zack Snyder and David Goyer need to reevaluate how their universe is perceived because in the end, we're talking about comic book characters... it's escapism, not realism.

Toaster's Ramblings - New Year's Edition Part 2

Welcome back to part 2 of my new years ramblings! (I can't believe it's February already.) In this part I want to touch upon some of my anticipations for 2016 as well as some plans I have for future posts. So let's start with the year in film... or what may come to be known as The Year Movie-Goers Drowned in Superhero Films!

Yes, 2016 could be the year that people finally get sick of superhero movies. Why? Because this year will see the release of Deadpool, Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, Captain America: Civil War, X-men Apocalypse, Suicide Squad, and Doctor Strange! Also, to the best of my knowledge the Gambit movie is still tentatively scheduled to be released this fall, but I am guessing it will be moved to 2017 because I don't think the project has progressed very far.

Clearly this is a huge year for Warner Bros. and DC Comics. If their Batman Vs Superman movie doesn't impress, their plans to push out a Justice League movie as well as establish their movie universe could be over before it begins. Personally, I think the movie has a steep uphill climb to succeed with several factors working against it.  For one thing, Man of Steel was not nearly as well received as DC and Warner Bros. would have liked.

Second, some of their casting is questionable. I still have reservations about Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor (I am still predicting that Ultron from last year's Avengers movie will turn out to be a better Luthor than Eisenberg!). Some people also don't like the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman, citing that the movie Daredevil was bad. In my opinion, Affleck will be fine, but what do I know? I actually liked Daredevil... though the Netflix series makes the movie look like a turd with frosted tips.

Third, the plot seems kind of weird. The premise itself of Batman fighting Supeman is interesting in of itself, but the recent trailer showed they will be facing Doomsday as well... a Doomsday with CGI from the early 2000's. There's also a rumor about Bizarro showing up too. Again, it's a little weird.

This leads to the fourth reason, one that I think may kill this movie... it's too damn crowded! I was reading off the various celebrities and characters set to be in Batman Vs. Superman to TivoGirl and she was shocked! We already have Batman, Superman, Lois Lane, Percy White, Martha Kent, Lex Luthor, Mercy, Alfred, Doomsday, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and we are rumored to also have Victor "Cyborg" Stone, and Bizarro. But wait, that's not all! We also have Jena Malone (possibly as Barbara "Batgirl" Gordon), Ezra Miller as The Flash, Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Thomas Wayne as well as Holly Hunter and Scoot McNairy. That's pretty damn packed. Now also consider that out of that long list, only Superman, Lois Lane, Perry White and Martha Kent were already established in Man of Steel. That is a hell of a lot of characters to introduce!

Now I will concede that likely a lot of these appearances will just be cameos (Cyborg, Flash and probably Aquaman and Wonder Woman) but that is still way too many big characters to establish and devote time to. Perhaps the fact that it is a two-part movie will help with this, but as Han Solo would say... OUCH! Um... I mean "I have a bad feeling about this."

Consider this, whenever a comic book movie tries to introduce too many new characters at once, it always becomes a jumbled mess. Think about it... Spider-man 3, Amazing Spider-man 2, Batman & Robin, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine... even Avengers: Age of Ultron bit off more than it could chew. To tell a proper story, you need time invested into the characters to understand their struggles and goals. When a studio tries to turn a movie into a jumping off point to create new spin-off franchises, it always comes at the sacrifice of story and character development, the end result being a dissatisfying movie experience for the fans.

Now I want to be clear... I do not want to hate Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice... man, that is a really stupid title when you write it out like that. Anyways, I am not walking into the theater with my opinion already set. I want to like this movie. A film where Batman fights Superman is new and interesting. Plus, I want new superhero films for characters that have never had one before.

So after that long, rambling diatribe, what are my opinions of other major upcoming movies for this year? Here's a rundown:

Deadpool - This movie seems to be the real deal, a Deadpool movie that feels authentic and is everything fans like myself wanted from that stupid Wolverine Origins movie. The trailers show an irreverent anti-hero prone to smart ass comments and extreme violence. In other words, everything looks freakin' awesome! I am very excited for this one.

Captain America: Civil War - Less excited for this one. I have a lot of the same fears for this that I have with Batman Vs. Superman... too many characters, a convoluted plot and an unsatisfying movie. However, most of these characters are already established and the directors made the awesome Winter Soldier movie, so Civil War has that going for it. My bigger problem is that I am not the biggest fan of the source material. Marvel's Civil War started out good and then degenerated into a series of weird directions and a very disappointing ending. Also, the comics event had lots of characters on both sides, involving virtually every Marvel hero (and some villains) except the X-Men and the space characters like Nova and Solver Surfer (who subsequently were involved in a way better major storyline called Annihilation). This movie has five on each side (not including Spider-man... not sure where he fits into the film yet). Five versus five seems more like a 50's gang "rumble" than a civil war.

One thing that I do like about Civil War is that it continues Steve Rogers' story concerning his world. The first film had his origin back in his world of the 1940's and led to his awakening in the present. The next movie (as well as Avengers) saw Steve's world turned upside-down as the government that he trusted and represented turned out to be corrupted and his best friend, seemingly killed in World War II, survived as a Soviet super assassin with no memory of the person he was. This movie appears to show Steve Rogers abandon his loyalties to help save his assassin friend, the last remnant of his former life back when his world made sense. That does make for compelling story-telling and I hope that story doesn't get buried under cameos, explosions and "universe building."

Hopefully Civil War will be good. Either way, they already have my money.

X-Men: Apocalypse - I'm weary of this movie... though to be fair I was weary of the last two X-Men films and both of those turned out great. However, I have high expectations for this one. It's supposed to be massive global damage, end of days kind of stuff. But the villain looks like Ivan Ooze! Why is Apocalypse look rubbery and purple? He doesn't look menacing!

I am interested to see what Apocalypse does to augment Magneto, Storm and Psylocke as his Horsemen. It looks like they are going with the comic version of Archangel so I just assume I know what he does... big metal wings that help him fly and throw metal blade "feathers" at his opponents.

I also want to see Sophie Turner use an American accent to play Jean Grey. She may be a good choice to play that character. It looks like Jubilee may be combined with Dazzler to some extent. I did notice in the picture of her with Turner that Lana Condor was wearing a "Light Brigade" shirt. It will be cool seeing more of Quicksilver too.

I have been waiting a long time for this X-men film. I hope Fox and Bryan Singer don't mess it up!

Suicide Squad - I am way more excited for this one than I am Superman Vs. Batman. The recent trailer looks great. I love it when we can get movies about lesser known comic book characters. There's less pressure to make a certain kind of film and allows the writers, directors and actors a level of freedom to make something unique. (Case in point: Guardians of the Galaxy.)

I am still not sold on "Jokallo." I realize that the filmmakers wanted to separate this version of Joker from Heath Ledger's and others, but I'm not sure that covering him in stupid tattoos and giving him a dental "grill." is the right direction. That said, I am intrigued with what Jared Leto may do with the character. I joked when he got the part that the only way Warner Bros. could find a way to one-up Heath Ledger's Oscar winning Joker from The Dark Knight was to hire someone who already won for Best Supporting Actor! Leto's backstage antics make me think he gets the character and won't just be redoing Ledger or Nicholson's Jokers.

Jonny and I have running bets on who will die in the movie. Generally, if we haven't really heard of the character, consider them dead. Deadshot and Harley Quinn? They're safe. I hope Will Smith will do Deadshot justice. Margot Robbie seems to have been a good choice for Harley Quinn. Killer Croc? Maybe. Diablo and Slipknot? Oh, they're dead. One of them might be killed before the mission even starts (like that one obstinate kid in Battle Royale).

I think Captain Boomerang is safe given that they hired up and comer Jai Courtney for the role and that having an established Flash villain may be good for the upcoming Flash movie. Jon, however, dislikes Jai Courtney and thinks he will die. Clearly it's just wishful thinking on his part.

Doctor Strange - Not very much is known about this movie. An image of Benedict Cumberbatch all decked out as Doctor Strange looked fantastic. That guy with the unpronounceable name from 12 Years a Slave was cast as arch-nemesis Baron Mordo and 'suspected robot due to never aging' Tilda Swinton will play the Ancient One. That's about all we have. Hopefully it will be good. I've never been a huge Doctor Strange fan, but before 2008 I didn't give a crap about Iron Man either, so who knows. I just hope we see Dormammu... maybe even Shuma "totally not Cthulhu" Gorath. That would be cool.

Moving on to the next year for this blog. I am thinking of reviving a few things I either stopped doing or just haven't had time for... such as Live Action Casting, Guilty Pleasures, The Underrated and Running Commentary. I have topics in mind for all of those. It comes down to motivation and time, but I will try to post a bit more than I did last year.

So until that next post,

Stay Strange

Toaster's Ramblings - Marvel's Killing Spree Edition

Marvel seems to be hell bent on killing it's most popular characters. I already talked about the disbanding of the Fantastic Four, but that's not really what I mean. While Marvel is killing the team, it's not apparently killing off Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch of the Thing. Plus, the Fantastic Four hasn't really been popular in decades.

What I am referring to started a couple of years ago with Marvel "killing" Peter Parker to set up the Superior Spider-man storyline where, through confusing comic book logic, the mind of Dr. Octopus took over Spider-man's body and he decided to use his new situation to become a better hero than his nemesis. Somehow, this story didn't turn out to be as bad as it probably should have been. In fact, I've heard it was good and an interesting change of pace for the character. Unfortunately, I think this has emboldened Marvel to start doing other drastic changes. Steve Rogers loses the super soldier serum in his blood and rapidly ages his body into a frail, elderly one and forcing him to pass the torch to Falcon... creating an excuse for Marvel to have a black Captain America. Thor becomes unworthy for some reason and now there's a female Thor.

And then there's the Death of Wolverine event, where Marvel's (arguably) most popular character was killed off after losing his healing factor. I'm not really sure why they would do this. You need to realize that Wolverine has made Marvel a lot of money. He has had numerous solo books, he's been on line-ups of the Avengers, X-men, X-force and even the Fantastic Four. Wolverine has also been a long favorite to make a guest appearance to boost sales of other titles. All of that has ended... and for what?

I guess there is a cuurent storyline where Sabretooth will be trying to atone for his past sins by trying to be a hero in Wolverine's place as he will be part of the new Uncanny Avengers line-up. Apparently his evil nature was permanently altered with the events of Axis. This is oddly not the first time Sabretooth was sued to fill the void left by Wolvie. After Wolverine had gotten his adamantium ripped out, the villain Genesis tried to re-bond the metal to Logan's bones, only for his body to reject the adamantium, for some reason turning Wolverine into a feral nose-less pirate. (Seriously) During that time, Sabretooth was held captive by Xavier in an attempt to rehabilitate him and Sabretooth helped the X-men in a few battles. That didn't last and I'm guessing at some point Sabretooth will be evil again. I mean, come on... how many villains does Wolverine really have?

I'm sure the Death of Wolverine arc made some money, despite the obvious fact that at some point Logan will likely return from the dead, just as Spider-man, Batman and Superman had before him. There is that old saying that "nobody stays dead in comics." That's not a positive thing when you think about it. It means that deaths in comics are far too often used as a gimmick to increase sales. Occasionally, a death will be permanent or at least a character will remain deceased for a long time. Jean Grey became a running joke for her many deaths and resurrections, but her regular continuity character has remained dead for about a decade now (though the young version of her is running around after being brought to the present... again, confusing comic book logic). Jason Todd, the second Robin, remained dead for almost 20 years! And by the looks of things, the original Nova, Richard Ryder, will remain dead indefinitely while the current Nova, Sam Alexander, is running around. However, none of these characters were A-listers. Everyone knew Superman, Spider-man and Batman would be back from the dead before too long. It's the same for Wolverine too.

What really inspired me to start this rant was actually the news that Marvel is now planning to kill Deadpool! That's right, the insanely popular cult favorite "Merc with a Mouth" is going to die for some reason... again. (Seriously, he died about ten years ago... it didn't take.) This pisses me off. Marvel Now's Deadpool comic is one of the best today, with comedian Brian Posehn as a co-writer. The comic is really funny, amazingly creative and has real heart to it without at all compromising the humor or the character himself. So of course Marvel is going to end the comic.

I won't get into the history of Marvel cancelling the books I really like (post-Annihilation Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Initiative, post Civil War New Warriors, the Runaways... okay, after the Vaughn and Whedon runs the Runaways sucked, so no big loss there... wait, what was I talking about again?). However, I only subscribe to four books from Marvel and Deadpool is one of them. Does Marvel just not want my money? I'm sure my money can go somewhere else.

Maybe this is going to be a curve-ball. Maybe Deadpool won't really die but instead maybe fake his death and become a lumberjack like Dexter. My big question is... what's the point? We already had a replacement Deadpool after his previous death in the "Funeral for a Freak" storyline. His name was Agent X and he sucked.

Is there going to be some revolutionary change that will make this cheap marketing ploy seem worthwhile? It seems like Marvel keeps hoping that lightning will strike twice, then a third time and a fourth and so on. I think they got lucky with Superior Spider-man and I've heard the current "Falcon America" isn't bad. But remember that the 90's saw lots of characters and titles revamped to be more 'modern' such as Azrael becoming Batman to make the character a violent and dark, Reign of the Supermen, Artemis taking the Wonder Woman mantle to make the character violent and... dark, Hal Jordan becoming a mass murderer, Superman turning into blue energy, Dr. Strange dropping the Dr and becoming... dark, Thing becoming disfigured and wearing a bucket on his head, Dr. Fate dropping the Dr and using a knife so he can be... dark... and so on. Yeah, most of those ideas sucked.

It would be nice if comic book companies would just focus on good storytelling rather than publicity stunts to sell comics. However, all my bitching could be rendered moot if the rumors are true that the end result of this summer's Marvel event could be a reboot of the entire universe. At which point, I will no longer be able to defend Marvel's occasional bad decisions with 'Well, it's still better than the New 52.'

To borrow a quote from Jonny Prophet...  "I'm kind of over reboots."

Toaster's Ramblings - Justice League VS JLA Edition

For Christmas I received the first two volumes of Grant Morrison's run on JLA from the late 90's. I love it. It features the biggest heroes in the DC universe in larger than life storylines against epic villains, such as defending the Earth from an invasion of White Martians guised as heroes or fighting off an invading army of angels from destroying the Earth or the epic Rock of Ages storyline. This is what I wanted when, at the birth of the New 52 reboot, I subscribed to Justice League. I just don't feel like it delivered anywhere near as well as JLA did. So sorry, this is yet another bitch session about the New 52.

I really just wanted that super team book with big names and great storylines. New 52 gave us big names, but the stories have largely sucked. The first arc where they come together to fight Darkseid felt rushed and was the first big taste of how DC was making its timeless characters more "edgy." They made them into assholes. Green Lantern and Batman snipe at each other like kids on a playground. Their new interpretation of Superman would rather beat the living hell out of someone, causing massive collateral damage in the process, than... oh, I don't know... talk to them? Reason with them? Find out what's going on? You know, those traits that made Superman one of the most revered heroes ever. No, even though he is knowingly capable of killing almost anyone and can level cities, he would rather just kick someone's ass.

From there was the lousy 'Graves' storyline, where the guy who wrote about the Justice League became a bad guy with psychic powers to mess with the heroes... you know, like Despero, The Key, Dr. Destiny, Gorilla Grodd, Dr. Psycho and the litany of other psychic villains that are part of the League's rogues gallery. Like I said, the story was boring and crappy.

Then we got the Throne of Atlantis arc. This could have been good except for two problems. The first was that the Justice League book suddenly became the launching point for readers to have to buy a bunch of other titles to know what was going on in the storyline. JLA could tell a story within that actual book, but the New 52 Justice League has to spread its story out to other books. Granted, the only other book to buy here was Aquaman, but this leads me to the second problem... I just didn't care. You see, the whole Atlantis invading the land and using tidal waves to destroy cities and Aquaman having to come to terms with being the King of the Oceans and a hero and a part-time land-dweller... it's all been done before. This is a frequent complaint I have with the New 52. So the Teen Titans have to face Trigon for the first time... again? Oh no, you mean there are evil counterparts to the Justice League from another dimension? That's news to me! (More on this later).

The Trinity War followed. What a waste of time. We were led to believe that the Justice League would be fighting the US government founded Justice League of America (and for some reason Justice League Dark). It was an interesting set-up harkening back to the Justice League Unlimited plotline of the USA being distrusting of the god-like heroes who claim they were protecting them. The inevitable conflict that would arise from their confrontation would have made for a great read... and we almost got that for one part of the seven part series. The rest was a damn wild goose chase, a red herring to the advent of Forever Evil. I honestly feel lied to. Remember that Free Comic Book Day comic about the Trinity War where we saw several heroes fighting in the streets? That never happened. What about the advertisements that showed members of all three teams in a massive free-for-all? Nope, just bullshit.

I will admit, the introduction of the Crime Syndicate was cool. But the Forever Evil event... and I say event because it is a universe-wide storyline, except for several books that I guess can't be bothered (Stormwatch, the super-team tasked with the planet's protection from outside forces apparently have better things to do)... the Forever Evil event is just dragging on and on. This is turning into a year long arc that is rapidly losing steam. I was collecting it, but now I think I will just wait for a trade paperback collection... if it ends well. And to get back to my main point, this entire long storyline has left almost all the League members indisposed, so it really isn't a great Justice League story either. In fact, the book seems to just be this weird means to re-introduce other, seemingly forgotten DC properties such as Doom Patrol and The Metal Men.

You know, I want to point out that there are a hell of a lot of DC characters that could actually fight the Crime Syndicate and probably win, but for whatever reason have been dismissed. What about Apollo, Midnighter, Power Girl, Huntress, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, Starfire, Red Hood, Arsenal, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Static and virtually everyone from that Justice League International book that was cancelled? They alone would be one hell of an army! Where are all the other DC heroes? Or did Johnny Quick somehow create a time vortex that they got sucked into like the Teen Titans? (Lame.)

Now to follow with another common argument I make when bitching about the New 52... how great the Marvel Now material has been by contrast! I started reading Uncanny Avengers from the first issue because it seemed interesting and it had Havok, one of my favorite Marvel characters, leading the team. Now this book is what I was looking for from Justice League! You have heavy hitter characters like Thor, Captain America and Wolverine mixed with various (and sometimes underrated) X-book names like Havok, Rogue and Sunfire. And they have awesome storylines, kept within their book so I don't have to buy a bunch of side issues to follow the action! They have fought the Red Skull who, with the super telepathic brain of Charles Xavier grafted to his own, mentally suggests to the humans of the world to kill the newly revived mutant population. Currently, there is this insane storyline about the Apocalypse Twins that I can't even to begin to explain how awesome it is. Let's just say they had their own "Four Horsemen of Death" comprised of Banshee, Grim Reaper, Daken and the Sentry! That alone is cooler than anything I've read in that Justice League book. The Uncanny Avengers is one of those comics that reminds me why I love comics!

I will probably stick with Justice League for at least a while after the Forever Evil story concludes. The new Justice League incarnation set to follow with Lex Luthor in charge seems promising. (Though I should point out that showing us advertisements for the team featuring characters currently "fighting for their lives" kind of lets a lot of the air out of the suspenseful nature of that big story arc.) I just wish that they would get back to good storytelling like from that other universe whose years of continuity were thrown away for a gimmick and some quick sales. But hey, now our heroes are edgy assholes, so that's something... right?

Toaster's Ramblings - The Lex Luthor Casting Edition

So they cast Jimmy Olson as Lex Luthor.

I really want to give Snyder, Goyer and Warner Brothers the benefit of the doubt on this, but I am having a really tough time. I'm not some die hard internet hater. I didn't cry out in venomous rage when Ben Affleck was cast as their Batman... I would rather wait and see. Gal Gadot was not my my first or even second pic to play Wonder Woman, but I think she will do fine (hopefully she follows through on her decision to 'build some muscle' for the role). But this one I am having a tough time with.

First of all, I think Jesse Eisenberg has the wrong look. He is skinny, scrawny and looks really young. Luthor is usually portrayed as being muscular. After all, by his account, Lex Luthor is the pinnacle of perfection for the human race... his body is at the peak of fitness, he is one of if not the most successful man on Earth and his intelligence is second to none. (This in turn fuels his hatred of Superman. The people love the alien and treat him with the reverence that Luthor thinks he should receive.) Now I can let the muscular body go; Luthor is known more for his mind that his brawn. However, Lex Luthor is supposed to be intimidating as knows he holds all the cards in any situation. Even in The Social Network, when Eisenberg was playing the super rich Mark Zuckerberg, he still came across more weaselly than confident. Likewise, his character in Now You See Me seemed to hide behind a wall of self-inflation and arrogance. Above those points though, he looks too young. He looks like a kid! He doesn't look like he would be a ruthless corporate mogul at the command of a multi-billion dollar enterprise. He just doesn't look intimidating to me... or believable.

Secondly, I just don't think Jesse Eisenberg has the acting chops to pull of Lex Luthor. I have seen him in several films and in every one he has that same fast talking monotonic voice. I understand that he has played characters with similar personality attributes to Luthor in both The Social Network and Now You See Me, and he did well in both films. But Lex Luthor is very complex. He needs to come across in a charismatic way in public and like a manipulative bastard in private. I have never seen Eisenberg pull off such a multifaceted performance. I will admit that he has about one more gear than his celebrity doppelganger Michael Cera, but that's not saying much.

I don't want to be the hater (that's Jonny Prophet's job), but I can't get over this weird casting. Does Zack Snyder know something that nobody else does? I had heard a couple of rumored names that would have both been better choices to play Lex Luthor. Bryan Cranston may be a little too old for the part, but his amazing performance as Walter White leaves me with no doubt he would have been excellent. Joaquin Phoenix would have also been great for the role. Anyone who saw him in Gladiator could attest to that.

The reality is, I could name over 20 other actors that I think would have been a better pick to play Lex Luthor than Jesse Eisenberg. Don't think so? Challenge accepted! Michael Fassbender, Viggo Mortenson, Kevin Spacey (yeah, why not?), Bruce Willis, Jonathan Rhys Meyers (it would be like a Tudors reunion!), Johnny Depp, Stephen Lang, Bruce Greenwood, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Billy Campbell, Matt Damon (mostly to have him fight Affleck), Gerard Butler, Joel Edgerton, Clive Owen, Guy Pierce, Jon Hamm, Dominic West, Karl Urban, Kyle Chandler, Ralph Fiennes, Benedict Cumberbatch and Idris Elba.

Yes I would accept a black Lex Luthor played by Idris Elba over Jesse Eisenberg...because at that point, the haters may cry foul but at least I know we would have an awesome Lex Luthor.

By the way, the other casting of Jeremy Irons as Bruce Wayne's butler and confidant Alfred Pennyworth is amusing to me. Beyond his professional scenery chewing abilities, I think Irons will prove the creepiest Alfred ever!

F'N Toaster's Movies of 2013 Review-a-rama-thon Spectacu-Looza-Mania 2000 (+ 13) - Part 2

It's time we continue the series of summer movie reviews with the not at all excessively titled F'N Toaster's Movies of 2013 Review-a-rama-thon Spectacu-Looza-Mania 2000 (+ 13)!   

Man of Steel – I’ve already spoken a bit about this movie concerning the end controversy and a list of weird things I observed in the film, so I won’t go back into that. What I am going to address is what I liked about Man of Steel and why. There was a surprising amount of hatred toward Man of Steel that I don’t entirely get. I’ve heard complaints about the tone being too much like a Batman movie. I heard a lot of people didn’t like Superman killing Zod (the aforementioned controversy). Honestly, I haven’t given much time to listening to people’s V-log bitch sessions about Man of Steel. I know I like the movie; I don’t really need to be convinced otherwise. So, what did I like? I thought Henry Cavill did a great job as Clark Kent and Superman. He affectively walked that line between kindness and aggression. Cavill also captured what director Zack Snyder and writer David Goyer wanted in a young man trying to find his identity… without it being too artsy like Superman Returns was. I also thought Amy Adams was the best Lois Lane I have ever seen. Not only was she actually attractive (sorry, but I never got Superman’s desire for Margot Kidder… maybe it’s just me) but Adams made Lane a very capable, tough and smart woman… a far cry for the damsel in distress she has been portrayed as in the past. I particularly love how she was able to figure out who Superman was. I mean, she is a journalist after all! But now, we won’t have to sit through that old shtick of “Clark! Where were you? Superman was just here!” and bumbling Clark Kent goes “Oh, well Lois I got stuck in the bathroom stall. What did I miss?” It’s kind of refreshing, really. Michael Shannon made for a truly vicious and driven version of General Zod. I do think that Terrence Stamp was the better Zod in Superman II, but that’s just because he was such a pimp in that movie! But Shannon brought a very different Zod, in some ways one more fitting of the title “General” than Stamp. I was really surprised about how much involvement Russell Crowe had in the movie as Jor-El. He did a good job in the role (when does he not?) and his portrayal as Kal-El’s father really brought heartfelt warmth to the film. Remember that Jor-El, for much of the movie, is only a ghostly recording… a father’s attempt to connect to the son he was forced to surrender so that he may live. By contrast, I always found Marlon Brando’s interpretation of Jor-El was too cold and stuffy. He came across more like a college professor than a loving message from beyond the grave to guide Kal toward his destiny. (I really feel that Brando was cast because he was Brando.) One thing I really appreciated about Man of Steel was that SUPERMAN ACTUALLY FOUGHT SOMEONE! Seriously, out of 6 Superman movies, the strongest and most powerful superhero on Earth has only fought, and I mean really fought, a super powered villain in 3 of them! And out of that measly half, you have to count that terrible Quest for Peace bad guy Nuclear Man!  I was shocked to hear how many people preferred Superman Returns to Man of Steel considering how boring it was. I felt Man of Steel had a good plot, amazing action sequences, awesome villains (I actually thought Faora, the female Kryptonian in Man of Steel, was better than Ursa in Superman II) and to me was the Superman movie I have always wanted. It took itself seriously. It didn’t have the goofiness of the Richard Donner films. On a nostalgic level I do love those movies, but I can do without the amnesia kiss or the weird cellophane “S” shield and especially turning the Earth backward. Personally I think that is the heart of the matter here. I suspect that the majority of those who detest Man of Steel were hoping it was going to be like the Richard Donner films (Superman and Superman II) from their childhood. I base this theory on the fact that I have not met a single comic book geek (such as myself) that disliked Man of Steel. The Richard Donner films were great representations of the “silver age” Superman and all of the wackiness that came with that era. Man of Steel, however, represents the modern age Superman… which is something comic fans like me have wanted to see on screen for years. 

World War Z – I already did a post about what little this movie actually has in common with the novel, so I won’t really get into that again. For what its worth, World War Z is a decent zombie flick. I’ve seen better and I’ve definitely seen worse. Even Jonny thought it was okay and he tends to avoid horror films. There were some great scenes of tension, like in the apartment building, in Israel (I really thought the Israeli soldier woman would have died at some point in the movie) and in the CDC (a scene that was apparently written by Damon Lindelof as a new ending). I did think it was weird that the little boy that joined Brad Pitt and his family in the apartment building really didn’t seem too torn up over having just lost his own folks to zombies. Kids are just so desensitized these days… I blame the video games! I was curious as to how Hollywood would make a movie of Max Brooks’ novel, which was written as an anthology of stories about survivors of the zombie war ten years prior. When put together, the anthological tales made for a chronological overarching story of the entire beginning, middle and end of the war. The movie was not that at all. I think that those who saw it were probably pleased enough, as those who were hardcore fans of the novel had to have figured the movie would stray significantly from the source material and thusly just stayed home. All I can say is Pitt and the studio dodged a major “flop” bullet as World War Z, with its rewrites, production problems and runaway budget, looked like it was going to crash and burn hard. Thank God for those international numbers! 

Despicable Me 2 – This is the only movie I didn’t see in theaters with Jonny. Instead my wife TivoGirl joined me. After all, we both enjoyed the first Despicable Me so why not. The sequel was pretty good, about as good as the original from my perspective. It was definitely just as funny. If you like the Minions (and if you don’t, why would you ever watch a Despicable Me movie?) they are just as funny if not funnier in this one. (I do worry about the upcoming Minion movie. 90 minutes of all Minions nonsense has serious potential to burn out their amusing factor. In a possibly related fun fact, I once watched a one hour special of all of Terry Gilliam’s Monty Python cartoons in one montage… I thought my brain was going to implode.) I will say as a criticism that out of Gru’s daughters, only Margo (the oldest) gets any major screen time. Her subplot of starting to date boys was hilarious, though. Kristen Wiig’s Lucy character was amusing, but I couldn’t help thinking it too closely resembled her Looney Tunes Show character of Lola. To be fair, since Lola is one of the best characters on The Looney Tunes Show, that isn’t a terrible thing, it’s just not very original. I think Despicable Me is one of the better non-Pixar animated franchises out there and offers something I am always on the look-out for… kid friendly movies that don’t suck. Now that I have a Little Toaster crawling (very close to walking) around, I have been building a collection of such shows and films. I already own the first Despicable Me and I am sure I will buy the second.

Pacific Rim – On one hand, Jonny and I wanted this film to do well as it was pretty awesome and could be a cool franchise. On the other hand, Pacific Rim was amazingly self-contained and could easily remain a standalone film. Whether the international ticket sales have given this film hope of a sequel remains to be seen. Jonny and I really liked Pacific Rim. Was it high art? Hell no! Did it deliver what it promised? Hell yes! Giant robots fighting big monsters! It looked awesome, the battles were great and it was just a lot of fun. There have been some criticisms of this movie. One I read was that you couldn’t see the Kaiju well enough because all the battles were at night. Well no, not all the battles were at night and I saw the Kaiju pretty clearly, the exception being the class 5 one in the ocean at the end. Another complaint was that the humans could have been given more character development. I thought the humans had okay character development, it could have been better. I will say in defense though that nobody goes to a movie about robots fighting monsters for the human subplots. Watching Godzilla movies as a kid, I always felt the humans were just boring filler that I had to sit through to get to the rubber suited monsters fighting and destroying model cities at the end… you know, the good part!  My complaint was that Charlie Hunnam needs to learn to speak with a damn American accent! I swear, he changed accent and dialect repeatedly throughout the movie. It’s now a running joke with me, one that might just strike a certain nerve with the Sons of Anarchy loving Jonny Prophet. Seriously though, Hunnam isn’t a bad actor but considering how long he has been acting in the States, I would have thought he would have had a better American accent. In speaking of Sons of Anarchy, since fellow SoA co-star Ron Perlman was in the movie, Jonny and I joke that Pacific Rim is the second weirdest episode of that show ever. (The first is still Frankie Goes Boom… Ron Perlman in drag, to quote the Sea Captain on The Simpsons, will “replace the whale in me nightmares!”)  The cast was comprised of relative unknowns and television stars, which worked well. Idris Elba is just awesome in everything. Charlie Day was hilarious as always. Ron Perlman is great in whatever he is in because he is Ron Perlman. (Yes, I admit Jonny and I lean heavily into Ron’s corner because we love him so.)  If you just want to watch a fun sci-fi action flick, you can’t go wrong with Pacific Rim… unless you want the Kaiju to win. (By the way, while watching Pacific Rim, I kept repeating to Jonny how great it is to live nowhere near an ocean so we don’t have to deal with this crap. Besides, what are the monsters going to do… destroy Detroit? They’ll just think someone already did and move on to Cleveland. Take that Cleveland!) 

RED 2 – When people ask me “How was RED 2?” I always reply the same way… “It had a better plot than the first one, but it wasn’t as funny.” Now don’t get me wrong, RED 2 was plenty funny, but I found the original funnier for two main reasons. The first was that the novelty of elderly people, particularly Dame Helen Mirren, being bad asses had slightly played itself out by the sequel. The second was the funniest character Marvin, played by John Malkovich, was at times the voice of reason in the second one… which was kind of weird. It was sad that Morgan Freeman (who died in the first one) and Ernest Borgnine (who died for real) weren’t in RED 2. Jonny and I were also disappointed that Karl Urban wasn’t in it as well. (He is, after all, one of the Enigma Society’s favorite actors!) Instead the role of somewhat antagonistic bad ass younger man that gets schooled by Bruce Willis went to the guy who played Storm Shadow in the G.I. Joe movies… which is a pretty good consolation prize. Newcomer Anthony Hopkins (I don’t think anyone has associated that word with him in a long time) gave his usual Anthony Hopkins performance, but he was a good character. That’s the weird thing about Hopkins; even when he gives a phoned-in performance there’s something about him that still seems like a he did a great job at it. Maybe it’s his accent. Like I said, the plot was better in RED 2, at least in my opinion. I thought the plot of the original was a little outlandish. I get that a Vice-Presidential hopeful would want to cover up that he went insane in combat and slaughtered a village of innocent people. I just don’t get how he could put together a team of Special Ops soldiers to take out the other people from his platoon and manage to keep that a secret as well. This one dealt more with old cold war weapons and protocol, something that seems more apt to the characters whose heyday was fighting communists and such. I didn’t really care for the Catherine Zeta Jones character. She seemed to be thrown in for the sole purpose of creating friction between Willis and Mary Louise Parker. Zeta Jones’ character was pretty cliché, the attractive but untrustworthy enemy agent, was pretty cardboard. However, I was really surprised that she was killed off; it seemed like they could have brought her back in future sequels (assuming there will be any). I was happy to see Brian Cox made a special appearance, though learning one of his character’s fetishes was a little unsettling. Jonny and I were both amused that RED 2 had their own “Not a nuclear bomb but everyone knows it’s basically a nuclear bomb” with the red mercury device… which creates a nuke sized explosion but without all that nasty radiation. (Red mercury is actually a theoretical explosive thought to have been created by the Soviets… so the writer did do some homework.) I don’t know if RED 2 did well enough to warrant an additional sequel, but frankly I was surprised a sequel was made at all! I didn’t think the first one did that well. 

Stay tuned to the EPIC conclusion of my summer movie write-up... or don't. Come on, don't be that guy. Where's the love?

Live Action Casting - The Justice League

I had really meant to have this up last month but life got in the way, especially in the last week. (See, if I had one of those Black Lantern rings that wouldn't be an issue!)  So, here we are with the culmination of our months long project... the Justice League movie.

The roster for the Justice League is as follows:

Man of Steel has already established Henry Cavill here (in all his crotch bulging goodness) as Supermen...

and Ryan "2 Flops in 1 Week" Reynolds as Green Lantern.

Here are the other members we introduced in earlier Live Action Castings:

Alexander Skarsgard as Aquaman

Gina Carano as Wonder Woman

Patrick Wilson as The Flash

and Armie Hammer as Batman (which seems doubtful since he apparently doesn't want to play him.)

In this movie we would also add Cyborg to complete the current New 52 Justice League...

For Cyborg we pick Michael B. Jordan. Its funny because we picked him long before we heard he was chosen to voice Cyborg in the "Flashpoint Paradox" animated movie that just came out! We loved him from Parenthood, though. His performance in Chronicle only sweetens the casting for me.

Now for the main villain of the film, we are going back to the puppet master from Wonder Woman's movie Ares, played by Javier Bardem.

But Justice League will feature three other villains. The first is Maxwell Lord...

We want Luke Evans for Maxwell Lord. You may recognize him from Immortals or as the bad guy from Fast and Furious 6. He's a good actor and can play the master manipulating millionaire businessman with ties to the clandestine government organization Checkmate.

The second is Professor Ivo...

Michael C. Hall seems like a great candidate to play the twisted genius Professor Ivo. Granted, Ivo's role in the movie would be limited, it would establish him for future movies... possibly involving a certain "amazing" android?

The third isn't so much a villain but a whole mess of villains...

The OMACs, an army of robotic soldiers created to neutralize metahumans, will play a major role in the movie.

What follows is just a basic idea for the plot that Jonny and I came up with. If I were to actually write this, it would have to be enhanced greatly, with locations and subplots, to be a fully functioning story. We think its a great concept, so without further ado, here is what we came up with...

The movie would begin in S.T.A.R. labs where Dr. Stone is working with Professor Ivo are working on a breakthrough in Artificial Intelligence. Stone's son Vic (the future Cyborg) comes to speak to his father when an explosion occurs in the lab. Vic is mortally wounded and Ivo is (seemingly) killed with much of the research destroyed. Dr. Stone quickly uses what robotic technology he has save his son's life.

While at a fancy humanitarian fundraiser Maxwell Lord seeks out Bruce Wayne to offer him the "oppurtunity" to get in on the ground floor by helping to fund what he calls "a worldwide peace-keeping deterrent."  He won't divulge any further details but does admit to already having a major benefactor. Whane Wayne asks "Who, Luthor?" Lord replies "Bigger." Wayne politely rejects the offer until he can know more about the project. Lord walks away with a smirk. His nose begins bleeding, but he immediately stops the flow with a handkerchief.

Soon after, blue robots begin to attack various metahumans like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash and Green Lantern. All of these robots feature adaptive means of taking on their opponents such as being equipped to to match Aquaman's speed and strength underwater while resisting deep ocean pressures. A robot takes on Superman, matching his immense strength, speed and durability. Batman shows up (I am assuming they would be friends by the end of Man of Steel 2) to disarm the robot with an EM Pulse grenade. Batman and Superman investigate the source of these robots.

It is revealed that Maxwell Lord has quickly risen up the ranks in the clandestine Checkmate organization and become its Black Bishop. Lord has been displaying the power of the OMAC project to other leaders of Checkmate (the various attacks on heroes, the OMACs sight capabilities also record what they see). He claims it to be a project to subdue the rising threats that metahumans have to the rest of the world. Lord goes onto explain that with the 'generous' permission to use of WayneTech's satellite, they can provide worldwide coverage.The White Bishop (Amanda Waller) is suspicious and decides to investigate Lord's newfound status and plans.

Superman and Batman follow the clues to S.T.A.R. labs where they meet the rebuilt Vic Stone (Cyborg), his new body built using the OMAC technology that was being developed. Vic is helping with the clean-up and efforts to get the advanced laboratory back online, partially by his own accessing of the computer systems to recover lost or damaged files. Vic tells his father as well as Superman and Batman that there seems to a lot of files missing concerning the manufacture and artificial intelligence research his father and Ivo had been working on. A small group of OMACs appear and fighting breaks out. Cyborg ends up being helpful in the battle. Cyborg should accompany Superman and him in order to stop the robotic menace.

Maxwell Lord arrives at his massive OMAC building factory and a massive super-computer to coordinate them. It is revealed that Professor Ivo survived the explosion, though not without suffering disfiguring injuries. The mysterious benefactor, remaining in shadows, tells Lord that he obtained Ivo along with the research necessary. Now it Lord up to him to get the Brother Eye system online. Maxwell Lord states that not only everything is going according to plan, but he is stepping up the attacks on metahumans. With this, Lord launches several more OMACs.

An OMAC attacks Green Lantern when Flash intervenes. They work together to defeat the robot. Wonder Woman arrives in Metropolis seeking Superman's help against the increasing robot attacks. Another OMAC appears and after a brief battle, is grabbed by the tentacles of a giant squid and smashed to bits by a blue whale... signaling the arrival of Aquaman.

Amanda Waller and an army of Checkmate agents storm Maxwell Lord's OMAC facility, citing suspicion of psychic persuasion on her fellow agents and superiors, evidenced by Lord's repeated nosebleeds after every encounter (an earlier scene would have shown Waller reviewing video records from the Checkmate 'Castle' headquarters). With a smile, Lord confesses. He is about to launch a swarm of OMACs on Waller and company when the benefactor stops him; he steps out into the open (revealing to the audience that he is Ares). The God of War decides to take them on by himself, something he hasn't had the joy of doing in quite some time. Ares kills the entire Checkmate squad by himself but only wounds Waller so that she might be able to witness the fall of man before she takes her final breath. Maxwell Lord, in a state of shock, wonders who his benefactor really is. Ares tells him that he is a God and that mortal men such as he should know that loyal servitude is the only thing that will keep his head attached to his neck. Then Ares commands Lord to launch an OMAC attack on Checkmate's Castle headquarters, resulting in an awesome, but one-sided battle that sees most of Checkmate killed... all witnessed by Waller. The OMACs then access Checkmate's computer files on every metahuman in the world.

Our details get a little hazy here. I'm not sure where Maxwell Lord's headquarters is nor where the future League members should congregate (probably Metropolis). Batman will find out that his alter ego Bruce Wayne actually did supply the information for his company's satellite to get jacked by Ivo and Lord, due to the latter placing a mental suggestion in Wayne at the fundraiser. The satellite aligns with Brother Eye's coordinates and activates 10,000 OMACs, which Ares has launched to attack every metahuman from the Checkmate files. Superman, Batman, Cyborg, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash and Green Lantern are forced to team up to both launch an assault on Lord's OMAC complex and fight off hundreds of the robots. There will also be scenes from around the world of other metahumans battling OMACs such as Booster Gold, Hawkman, Zatanna, Plastic Man, Shazam and more (setting the stage for more movies!).

After defeating a few hundred OMACs, the Justice League is met by Ares, whom Wonder Woman instantly recognizes and attacks. The God of War knocks her into a building, then proceeds to explain to the others that his strength increases when there is conflict across the Earth. Since the age of Gods ended centuries ago, he has been far weaker. Humans can only generate so much of the violent energies he needs to thrive, so he laid low and sowed the seeds for all out global conflict. (He almost succeeded twice.) Recently, he found that the rise of metahumans has brought him strength not felt since those days of old. Basically, with his newfound strength and invincibility, he's going to conquer the world of men.

Ares magically summons his full armor and takes on Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Aquaman in a huge fight that sees the God of War holding his own against them all. Batman takes on Maxwell Lord in a distraction so Cyborg can break into Brother Eye and disable the OMACs. Not sure how, but the good guys win (really not sure how Ares will be stopped, but I would want him to return in a third Wonder Woman movie called "Fall of the Amazons" cuz that sounds awesome!). Cyborg disables the OMACs, Batman kicks the crap out of Maxwell Lord, Professor Ivo escapes. More shots of other super heroes having defeated OMACs or just fighting them when the robot shuts down. Waller is rescued, but it implies she now has a deep distrust for metahumans. In the end, the Justice League forms.

Look for future installments of Live Action Casting that will feature some of those other superheroes in the DCU. Until then, Stay Strange.

THIRTEEN Weird Things in Man of Steel

SPOILER ALERT!

1. Despite explaining in detail the various differences between Krypton and Earth, such as gravity, atmosphere and cellular structure, Kryptonians just happen to speak perfect English.
2. After seeing Jax-Ur in Man of Steel, it’s great to find out that Krypton had evil German scientists too.
3. They killed off Dr. Hamilton, a sort of go-to support character to Superman and the man worked for and at some point ran S.T.A.R. Labs. Now who will Superman ask when he doesn’t know how some futuristic weapon thingy works?
4. While devising what Zod’s “World Engine” was trying to accomplish, Dr. Hamilton revealed that the villain was trying to turn Earth into Krypton. How the hell did he figure that out considering he had no knowledge of Superman’s home planet or even knew its name?
5. In the old Superman movies, Kryptonian technology was all about white crystals. In Man of Steel, Kryptonian technology is all about morphing liquid nanotechnology.
6. Wait, so Krypton had dragons?
7. So all of the information about the entire Kryptonian civilization is in Superman’s blood? So if he gets a nose bleed, Krypton’s ‘Industrial Revolution’ could be lost?
8. You would think that if Superman was so concerned about the safety and preservation of human life that he would have led the fighting away from Smallville and Metropolis rather than, you know, smash through a gas station and cause a massive fiery explosion.
9. Was Kryptonian armor designed by H.R. Giger?
10. Jor El, having been genetically bred to be a scientist, was a total bad ass that even defeated General Zod, who was genetically engineered to be a fierce warrior. (Note that while Jor El had the added determination of a ‘father protecting his son,’ Zod professed that his entire purpose was to defend Krypton. Zod knew that the Codex, representing the future of Krypton, was being launched into space with Jor El’s son. He should have been just as determined.)
11. Jonathan Kent gave Clark lots of fatherly advice about choosing the correct path in life and being a good person… then was quick to tell Clark to never use his powers… Not even to save his fellow classmates from drowning!
12. Jonathan Kent tells Clark not to save him from the approaching tornado, even though Clark could have probably moved fast enough not to have been seen by the other people. So Pa Kent just stands there? He doesn’t try to lie flat on the ground or huddle under a car? He just decides to traumatize his son and wife and the other witnesses? And how the hell was he able to stand so still next to a freakin’ tornado? The winds from those can be hundreds of miles an hour, I guarantee more than just his hair would be blown around.  
13. Why was Superman’s outfit inside an ancient Kryptonian scout ship that had been trapped under ice for 18,000 years? And why did it have a cape?

Toaster's Ramblings - Man of Steel Controversy Edition

After seeing the Man of Steel it is safe to say that it is the best Superman movie ever made. Granted, the bar wasn't exactly high. Don't get me wrong, the Richard Donner films are still a nostalgic treat to behold and, with cherished childhood memories attached, hold a special place in my heart. But those were of a different Superman for a different time; Jonny Prophet and I both agree those movies represent the often silly, and random super power possessing Supes of the Silver Age. The next two films were abominations made watchable only by adding RiffTrax to them. And then there is Superman Returns.

There are those critics and movie-goers that claim that Superman Returns was a better film than Man of Steel. On a cinematic "art house Superman film" (thank you Kevin Smith for that quote) level they are probably right. Superman Returns was shot beautifully and, like Ang Lee's Hulk, brought a more existential story with complex characters. But like Ang Lee's Hulk, it was boring. Why? Because audiences don't want to existential films about the Incredible Hulk and Superman, they want movies where they fight bad guys and destroy stuff. With the exception of moving a mountain of Kryptonite, Superman Returns didn't have a climactic battle. But I've already bitched about Superman Returns before.

So the big controversy now is...

SPOILER ALERT

At the end of the movie, Superman kills General Zod. Lots of ardent comic book fans are angry about this because as a rule Superman does not kill. Generally, yes this is true. There was even a great storyline in the comics where Superman fought an "extreme justice" super team called The Elite (an animated movie of the storyline was also made). 

I am completely okay with Superman killing Zod. It wasn't done out of spite or in a 'Dirty Harry with a cape' sort of way. Zod vowed to kill every human on Earth out of revenge for Superman foiling his plot to resurrect Krypton at our world's expense. Zod went so far as to proclaim that the only way he could be stopped would be to kill him, taunting Superman's sense of morality. After a long fight, Superman was trying with all his might to restrain Zod, who was trying to kill a family with his heat vision. Seeing that he could not prevent Zod's heat vision from reaching and incinerating the cowering people, he could either watch as the family of four, including two children, were burned alive or he could end it right then and there. So he broke Zod's neck.

To be fair, Superman didn't take it well. He immediately cried out in anguish over his actions and the situation at large. General Zod knew that Superman had a strong moral code that prevented him from arbitrarily killing his enemies the way he and his fellow Kryptonian rebels did. In some sense, Zod may not have expected Superman to break his code in order to end his reign of terror. Perhaps the movie could have been written differently, but given the script and the plot, I feel Superman did what had to be dome. It's just like in Trigun when Legato forced Vash to kill him, or watch as the mind-controlled villagers killed Meryl and Millie. It was a bad situation but it had to be done. It helps mold the character. Superman can still be against killing, he clearly was before and I'm sure he will be after that point.

Also note that Superman has killed in the comics when he had to. The most famous example is when he killed Doomsday (at the sacrifice of his own life) to prevent the monstrous killing machine from leveling Metropolis and taking countless lives. It was a last ditch effort and I think the Superman in the comics would have made the same decision as the one in the movie.

I find it funny that nobody seems to bitch about Captain America killing people with guns or Iron Man killing numerous humans in their movies. Hell, I don't remember anyone complaining when at the end of The Dark Knight, Batman killed Harvey Dent in a very similar situation where the life of a child was at stake. Frankly, Batman's anti-killing policy is even more intense than Superman's when you think about it. Even after the Joker killed Jason Todd, paralyzed Barbara Gordon and killed Commissioner Gordon's love interest (at the end of No Man's Land), Batman still insists on the legal system handling the fate of the psychopath. 

Was Man of Steel perfect? Definitely not. But it was highly entertaining and gave us the Superman movie I, and fanboys all over the world, have wanted for years... a movie we really hoped Superman Returns would have been. Superman didn't kill General Zod in any John McClane "Yippy Kay-ay" manner. I doubt Superman will kill anyone on film again (except robots or maybe Doomsday if they make that storyline into a movie). This was one of those formative lessons for a superhero, not unlike Spider-man learning his actions indirectly lead to the death of Uncle Ben. Had he killed Zod in cold blood, I would agree with everyone else that it was against everything Superman stood for. But that's the thing... killing Zod is against everything the Man of Steel stands for. That's why they wrote it into the movie the way they did.

Toaster's Ramblings... Rebooting Batman Edition

With the release of Man of Steel only a couple of weeks away, there is increased talk of Warner Brothers and DC Comics making their Justice League movie AKA their answer to The Avengers. There has already been a lot of speculation about Batman’s involvement. Will it be Joseph Gordon Levitt under the cowl, seemingly reprising his role from the final shot of The Dark Knight Rises? Will Warner Brothers drive a dump truck full of money to the doors of Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale to get both involved in the super team movie? Will Warner Brothers just decide to start over the franchise and cast younger for the lead?

Jonny Prophet and I are honestly hoping for a reboot, which is sort of the purpose of this rambling session. Our next Live Action Casting for our (semi-plausible) fantasy Justice League movie will involve Batman. With that in mind, we realized that we needed to establish our reasoning for not just going with the default Nolan Batman franchise, hence this write-up.

Jonny and I loved the Chris Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy but all good things must come to an end, less they become sad, limping, half-dead specimens of their former glory, or to put it a better way… Two and a Half Men. The Dark Knight trilogy was great… near perfect in many ways. The story came full circle and gave a very complete and fulfilling ending. Okay, many will disagree with those statements, but you have to admit that the way Nolan ended it, bringing back Bale as Batman would be problematic. Let’s examine why… SPOILER ALERT!

In The Dark Knight Rises Bruce Wayne loses his fortune because of manipulations by Talia and the League of Shadows. After essentially revealing his identity to Commissioner Gordon, Wayne goes on to fake his own death, seemingly sacrificing himself in a nuclear explosion. Wayne Manor gets donated to orphans. Alfred moves on with his life and we find Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle have settled down with a new life abroad. Lastly, “Robin” John Blake finds the Bat-Cave and one assumes carries on the fight.

Warner Brothers would have to reverse all of that for the Christian Bale Batman to plausibly join the Justice League. That’s a lot to consider. Wayne has to return to Gotham City, explain his absence to the media that will surely question him, try to get back his fortune and his company with the Research and Development division intact, kick out the orphans, convince Alfred to come back, hope things aren’t weird between him and Gordan and figure out what to do about Blake. Oh, and Wayne’s body is still falling apart from the toll of crime-fighting.

Maybe the Justice League movie takes place before The Dark Knight Rises? When? In that gap where Batman hung up the cape and cowl after Rachel and Harvey’s deaths and he was limping around with a cane? Maybe he found the time to join after escaping the underground prison but before rescuing Gotham City from Bane? Maybe it was in between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight? Okay, we’ll just ignore that Christian Bale looks older now than when he did during Begins (a decade will do that to you). But the problem is that’s just lame. I hate it when a movie takes place before or during an established continuity like that. Let’s use the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles as an example. While it’s doubtful they would kill the main character of the show, I like knowing the possibility that they could. But if Young Indy died, there would be no Indiana Jones movies (though in the case of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, that might not have been a bad thing). Would Batman die in a Justice League movie? Probably not, but did movie goers expect Spock to die in Wrath of Khan? It’s that possibility, however slight, that helps make these movies more exciting.

What about John Blake as Batman? I am a fan of Joseph Gordon Levitt; he’s a fantastic actor. But a Justice League big screen movie has never been done before. Do you really want to tarnish it right off the bat (no pun intended) by having a Batman that isn’t Bruce Wayne? To me, it would stick out like a sore thumb and I would actually have a hard time enjoying the film for that reason. It’s the same reason why music groups who replace a key member seldom do well. It just feels off.

And I am just going to come out and say it… Nolan’s Batman doesn’t fit into the Justice League very well. Where in his trilogy would you fit aliens, power rings and Amazonian warrior princesses? The Dark Knight movies were firmly grounded in the world of organized crime, whether it was the mob or the clandestine League of Shadows. There’s a reason why Ra’s Al Ghul didn’t have Lazarus Pits and Bane didn’t have super steroids to make him grow enormously muscular… its because those weren’t realistic. All of his adversaries fit into that realistic world, including the usually over-the-top Joker. The realism of The Dark Knight Trilogy is what set it apart from previous films and gave it an edge. But that realistic Batman, with his bodily wear and tear, wouldn’t fit in so well with the likes of Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash and Green Lantern.

Now here’s why a reboot could be great. You could have a fresh new perspective toward the franchise, possibly focused more on the feel of the current comics but with a nod to the past. I don’t mean the goofiness of the Joel Schumacher years. In the same way that Captain America and Iron Man can fit in the same comic/movie universe as Hulk and Thor, I would create a Batman that can fight crime in Gotham but also be a member of the Justice League. Nolan told Bruce Wayne’s story, what if this reboot focuses more on Dick Grayson becoming Robin under Batman’s tutelage? That could be great! Guess what? If you reboot the franchise, you can have the Joker again! Burton killed the Nicholson Joker and since Ledger sadly passed away, I doubt Nolan would have ever cast another in that role. Lets up the ante… add Harley Quinn! She’s a fan favorite who has never been in a movie. Plus, Batman has lots of other villains that could be used, many of whom have never been on film. Batman has a big universe that the films have only scratched the surface of. Why not blow the lid off it?

So continuing in our effort to not just bitch but actually explain what we would do, coming next week will be our Live Action Casting for our Batman reboot that can lead toward the Justice League movie. Until then, stay strange!