How I Would Fix It - Green Lantern

Here at the Enigma Society, we try to not just talk the talk, but also walk the walk. We aren't content to bitch like regular fanboys, we come up with ideas for what we would do instead. This leads me to this new recurring segment... How I Would Fix It.

The idea is that Jonny and I take a movie or television show that had a lot of potential, but we feel squandered it, and come up with how we could have done things differently or "fix it." For the first one, I thought I would take on the underwhelming Green Lantern ,movie that was supposed to kick start the DC movie universe but instead is largely ignored. So here we go:

I will start by saying what I think worked in the Green Lantern movie, as I don't think it's necessarily a "back to the drawing board" type of situation... at least not entirely. First and foremost, Mark Strong was absolutely perfect for Sinestro. I would have kept Michael Clark Duncan to voice Kilowog, though I would have had to replace his voice after his unfortunate passing... (RIP). I think Blake Lively was fine as Carol Ferris, so she could stay. I'm not sure she would fit with my revised story, but I did like the inclusion of Amanda Waller. She is an important behind-the-scenes player in the DC universe and if she can be established early on, bringing in the likes of Checkmate or Suicide Squad would be easier. I also liked the "light based constructs" from the rings.

The rest of the special effects, however, would need revision. I didn't like that weird Green Lantern outfit that looked more like the "Venom symbiote" than a superhero costume. I would go back to the more traditional look. I would also try to cut back on the green screen where applicable. A big problem with the Green Lantern movie was that it looked really fake. Let's make an animatronic Kilowog that could be spliced into CGI, sort of like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. More of the creatures, such as Tomar Re and the Guardians of the Universe, would be made to look less creepy and more like their comic book counterparts. 

Seriously? People bitched a storm about Batman's suit having nipples, but they were just fine with Green Lantern basically looking barefoot? He has green toes! Come on!

I first knew Green Lantern was in trouble when it was announced that the lead character, Hal Jordan, was to be played by Ryan Reynolds. This was a total miscasting. Reynolds is kind of goofy. He's sarcastic, sure, but the problem is when I see Ryan Reynolds appear in anything, I expect him to make me laugh. Reynolds works extremely well for Deadpool, but not Hal Jordan. You see, the problem is Hal isn't goofy. He can be very cocky and sarcastic, but aside from a few one-liners, he shouldn't be the source of comic relief.

Honestly, what I think the studio was going for was making Green Lantern out to be like Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Here's the problem... Ryan Reynolds is no Robert Downey Jr. He lacks the necessary range for the part. RDJ is perfect for Stark for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that he is equally good at comedy, drama and action. You can believe his conviction when he tells Loki that should he and his teammates fail to protect the Earth "they will damn sure avenge it." I can never really buy Reynolds in any serious role beyond comic relief... which as I said before, Hal Jordan isn't right for.

It was either this or I rip off the plot of the Hangover and have Cooper wake up wearing a power ring after a bender.

 So the first thing I would have done was cast Bradley Cooper as Hal Jordan. Cooper can do comedy, action and drama very well, he is a big name in Hollywood and he actually looks the way Jordan does in the comics. If not Cooper, then someone adept at action and drama like Joel Edgerton (though Edgerton lacks the star power that Reynolds and Cooper have). Honestly, casting for comedy would be a distant priority as most actors can deliver one-liners and quips, but not everyone can convince you, behind a costume and mask, that the world is truly in danger.

I guess if I had to appear at a Failure to Launch, I'd go in disguise too.

 I also want to add one thing that perturbed me from the movie. There was the sequence where GL tries to save a falling helicopter from crashing into a party. He makes this ultra-elaborate construct resembling his nephew's Hot Wheels loop-de-loop race track. I know this is going to sound super geeky, but that is not how Hal Jordan operates. That was more of what his successor Kyle Rayner, an artist, would create. Hal would make a big green hand to grab the copter and place it on the ground. Hal is very direct and simple. (For note: I too am surprised I get laid at all.) If he can solve the problem with a beam, a shield, a bat or a hand, then Hal will.

The next problem, in my opinion even bigger than casting Reynolds, was that they used the wrong villains! When I heard that the baddies were Hector Hammond and Parallax, I knew the movie was in huge trouble. Nobody, and I mean nobody, was clamoring to see Hector Hammond on the big screen; he is just some creepy big headed guy with mental powers... and using Parallax was just a terrible idea. It would have been like if Man of Steel had Doomsday as Superman's first villain or if Batman Begins had Bane. Like those two villains, Parallax was a game-changer for Green Lantern. Parallax was a psychic cosmic entity that latched itself to Hal Jordan, drove him insane and damn near destroyed the universe. Why the hell would you make rookie Hal Jordan fight that?  Plus, they didn't even look good... at all. Hammond came across like a mutated child molester and Parallax looked like mustard colored vomit with a face. If a hero is defined by his villains, then what did that make Reynold's Green Lantern? 

Evilest 'Stache in the Universe!

I would have instead made the main villain Krona, a relatively obscure baddie (though than can be said for any of GL's villains really). Eons ago, before the Oans decided that they should be the Guardians of the Universe, Krona was an impetuous and reckless scientist that broke a universal law in going back in time to witness the beginning of creation (and in the process accidently created the mulit-verse and the Anti-matter universe... which will play a role in future movies). He had been imprisoned in the Power Battery of Oa (where the Green Lanterns get their energy from) but had mysteriously escaped (a mystery to be solved with a reveal that would come at the end of the film... but I'm getting ahead of myself).

I'd make them look cooler in the movie... 

 

 

but not walking scrap metal heaps like Michael Bay's Transformers!

 Krona commands an army of the Manhunters, powerful robots that were created by the Guardians of the Universe as a police force before the creation of the Green Lantern Corps. It is revealed that Krona had a hand in corrupting the Manhunters to prove the system was flawed, thus leading the Guardians to replace them with the Green Lanterns. Manipulating this flaw, Krona has made it so that the Manhunters obey his commands. So the background plot would revolve around Krona waging a war against all the Green Lanterns using his vast army of Manhunters, however this is all a distraction while he searches for the "heart of the multiverse." (Hint: it's Earth!) Of course, the Guardians don't know Krona is behind this scheme. Sinestro is trying to organize the Green Lantern Corps to not only defend their own space sectors but also the planet Oa itself, stretching their ranks far too thin. He complains that if he welds the supposed most powerful weapon in the universe, then why does he feel so helpless? (Foreshadowing!)

So here I've set up a universal threat and find a way to involve Earth. Much the same events take place, Abin Sur would still be mortally wounded (this time by a Manhunter) and give his power ring to Hal Jordan. He would be forced to use the ring for the first time against the Manhunter who killed Abin Sur, which is programmed to kill any Green Lantern... and poor Hal has the ring. So instead of fighting jerks at a bar with the ring, he would use it to just barely destroy the Manhunter in a sort of trial by fire. (This would be the start of his legend as "the greatest of all the Green Lanterns.) Hal would then be teleported back to Oa to be trained by Sinestro & Kilowog and ultimately return to Earth and start saving people on Earth, especially Carol Ferris. 

Seriously, if one of these things appeared before me, I'd probably shit myself!

Here's the big thing, though. In the movie, Jordan asks for help from the Guardians in handling Parallax, which they refuse... even though at the start of the movie they sent an army of Green Lanterns to fight the entity, resulting in massive casualties. That made no damn sense. Why wouldn't they have concentrated all their efforts at Earth to stop this universal threat.

Oh wait, you said Guardians of the Universe?... sorry.

In my story, the widespread threat of attacking Manhunters has left the Corps too thin to spare any more troops to Earth, so it is up to Hal to prove himself and handle the Manhunters at home by himself. Unknown to the Guardians, however, is that there are thousands of Manhunters converging on Earth to assist their master Krona, whom Hal will end up facing by his lonesome. Krona has discovered that Earth is the heart of the multi-verse and through it he can use the Anti-Matter universe to collapse all the parallel universes into one, effectively fixing what he caused and placing him in a God-like position over the 'new' universe.  They end up fighting a city ravaging battle where Hal begins to understand how to use the ring in conjunction with his emotions and instincts... while having to defend against attacks from Krona and various Manhunters.

Sinestro, along with other GL's like Kilowog and Tomar Re could arrive just in time to see Hal all but defeat Krona, proving that he may be the best of them all... and sowing the seeds of jealousy in Sinestro. So Hal Jordan is officially the Green Lantern of sector 2814, the remaining Manhunters are destroyed... though a few may escape. Krona is again imprisoned (not sure how this time, but probably not back in the Power Battery).

Let's just say he's the Prom King... at every prom!

In the obligatory comic book movie end credit scene, we see Sinestro standing on a balcony of the tall building on an alien world.  We see a flashback, giving the big reveal that it was Sinestro who allowed Krona to escape before, in exchange for his knowledge of the secrets of the Anti-Matter universe and the power it represents to whomever can potentially control it... someone that can spread great fear. The flashback ends, and Sinestro gets a confident smile. He holds up his right fist with its Green Lantern ring, which creates an eerie glow on Sinestro's face. We then zoom out to reveal that Sinestro has enslaved the people of his homeworld of Korugar, using giant green constructs to enforce his rule on them as they build monuments to his glory.

Note: As for a Justice League build-up cameo, I always thought GL should show up at the end of a Flash movie for a Brave and the Bold moment.

So that about does it. I have lots more ideas for How I Would Have Fixed It, so stay tuned and Stay Strange.

Toaster's Ramblings - Justice League VS JLA Edition

For Christmas I received the first two volumes of Grant Morrison's run on JLA from the late 90's. I love it. It features the biggest heroes in the DC universe in larger than life storylines against epic villains, such as defending the Earth from an invasion of White Martians guised as heroes or fighting off an invading army of angels from destroying the Earth or the epic Rock of Ages storyline. This is what I wanted when, at the birth of the New 52 reboot, I subscribed to Justice League. I just don't feel like it delivered anywhere near as well as JLA did. So sorry, this is yet another bitch session about the New 52.

I really just wanted that super team book with big names and great storylines. New 52 gave us big names, but the stories have largely sucked. The first arc where they come together to fight Darkseid felt rushed and was the first big taste of how DC was making its timeless characters more "edgy." They made them into assholes. Green Lantern and Batman snipe at each other like kids on a playground. Their new interpretation of Superman would rather beat the living hell out of someone, causing massive collateral damage in the process, than... oh, I don't know... talk to them? Reason with them? Find out what's going on? You know, those traits that made Superman one of the most revered heroes ever. No, even though he is knowingly capable of killing almost anyone and can level cities, he would rather just kick someone's ass.

From there was the lousy 'Graves' storyline, where the guy who wrote about the Justice League became a bad guy with psychic powers to mess with the heroes... you know, like Despero, The Key, Dr. Destiny, Gorilla Grodd, Dr. Psycho and the litany of other psychic villains that are part of the League's rogues gallery. Like I said, the story was boring and crappy.

Then we got the Throne of Atlantis arc. This could have been good except for two problems. The first was that the Justice League book suddenly became the launching point for readers to have to buy a bunch of other titles to know what was going on in the storyline. JLA could tell a story within that actual book, but the New 52 Justice League has to spread its story out to other books. Granted, the only other book to buy here was Aquaman, but this leads me to the second problem... I just didn't care. You see, the whole Atlantis invading the land and using tidal waves to destroy cities and Aquaman having to come to terms with being the King of the Oceans and a hero and a part-time land-dweller... it's all been done before. This is a frequent complaint I have with the New 52. So the Teen Titans have to face Trigon for the first time... again? Oh no, you mean there are evil counterparts to the Justice League from another dimension? That's news to me! (More on this later).

The Trinity War followed. What a waste of time. We were led to believe that the Justice League would be fighting the US government founded Justice League of America (and for some reason Justice League Dark). It was an interesting set-up harkening back to the Justice League Unlimited plotline of the USA being distrusting of the god-like heroes who claim they were protecting them. The inevitable conflict that would arise from their confrontation would have made for a great read... and we almost got that for one part of the seven part series. The rest was a damn wild goose chase, a red herring to the advent of Forever Evil. I honestly feel lied to. Remember that Free Comic Book Day comic about the Trinity War where we saw several heroes fighting in the streets? That never happened. What about the advertisements that showed members of all three teams in a massive free-for-all? Nope, just bullshit.

I will admit, the introduction of the Crime Syndicate was cool. But the Forever Evil event... and I say event because it is a universe-wide storyline, except for several books that I guess can't be bothered (Stormwatch, the super-team tasked with the planet's protection from outside forces apparently have better things to do)... the Forever Evil event is just dragging on and on. This is turning into a year long arc that is rapidly losing steam. I was collecting it, but now I think I will just wait for a trade paperback collection... if it ends well. And to get back to my main point, this entire long storyline has left almost all the League members indisposed, so it really isn't a great Justice League story either. In fact, the book seems to just be this weird means to re-introduce other, seemingly forgotten DC properties such as Doom Patrol and The Metal Men.

You know, I want to point out that there are a hell of a lot of DC characters that could actually fight the Crime Syndicate and probably win, but for whatever reason have been dismissed. What about Apollo, Midnighter, Power Girl, Huntress, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, Starfire, Red Hood, Arsenal, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, Static and virtually everyone from that Justice League International book that was cancelled? They alone would be one hell of an army! Where are all the other DC heroes? Or did Johnny Quick somehow create a time vortex that they got sucked into like the Teen Titans? (Lame.)

Now to follow with another common argument I make when bitching about the New 52... how great the Marvel Now material has been by contrast! I started reading Uncanny Avengers from the first issue because it seemed interesting and it had Havok, one of my favorite Marvel characters, leading the team. Now this book is what I was looking for from Justice League! You have heavy hitter characters like Thor, Captain America and Wolverine mixed with various (and sometimes underrated) X-book names like Havok, Rogue and Sunfire. And they have awesome storylines, kept within their book so I don't have to buy a bunch of side issues to follow the action! They have fought the Red Skull who, with the super telepathic brain of Charles Xavier grafted to his own, mentally suggests to the humans of the world to kill the newly revived mutant population. Currently, there is this insane storyline about the Apocalypse Twins that I can't even to begin to explain how awesome it is. Let's just say they had their own "Four Horsemen of Death" comprised of Banshee, Grim Reaper, Daken and the Sentry! That alone is cooler than anything I've read in that Justice League book. The Uncanny Avengers is one of those comics that reminds me why I love comics!

I will probably stick with Justice League for at least a while after the Forever Evil story concludes. The new Justice League incarnation set to follow with Lex Luthor in charge seems promising. (Though I should point out that showing us advertisements for the team featuring characters currently "fighting for their lives" kind of lets a lot of the air out of the suspenseful nature of that big story arc.) I just wish that they would get back to good storytelling like from that other universe whose years of continuity were thrown away for a gimmick and some quick sales. But hey, now our heroes are edgy assholes, so that's something... right?

Live Action Casting - The Justice League

I had really meant to have this up last month but life got in the way, especially in the last week. (See, if I had one of those Black Lantern rings that wouldn't be an issue!)  So, here we are with the culmination of our months long project... the Justice League movie.

The roster for the Justice League is as follows:

Man of Steel has already established Henry Cavill here (in all his crotch bulging goodness) as Supermen...

and Ryan "2 Flops in 1 Week" Reynolds as Green Lantern.

Here are the other members we introduced in earlier Live Action Castings:

Alexander Skarsgard as Aquaman

Gina Carano as Wonder Woman

Patrick Wilson as The Flash

and Armie Hammer as Batman (which seems doubtful since he apparently doesn't want to play him.)

In this movie we would also add Cyborg to complete the current New 52 Justice League...

For Cyborg we pick Michael B. Jordan. Its funny because we picked him long before we heard he was chosen to voice Cyborg in the "Flashpoint Paradox" animated movie that just came out! We loved him from Parenthood, though. His performance in Chronicle only sweetens the casting for me.

Now for the main villain of the film, we are going back to the puppet master from Wonder Woman's movie Ares, played by Javier Bardem.

But Justice League will feature three other villains. The first is Maxwell Lord...

We want Luke Evans for Maxwell Lord. You may recognize him from Immortals or as the bad guy from Fast and Furious 6. He's a good actor and can play the master manipulating millionaire businessman with ties to the clandestine government organization Checkmate.

The second is Professor Ivo...

Michael C. Hall seems like a great candidate to play the twisted genius Professor Ivo. Granted, Ivo's role in the movie would be limited, it would establish him for future movies... possibly involving a certain "amazing" android?

The third isn't so much a villain but a whole mess of villains...

The OMACs, an army of robotic soldiers created to neutralize metahumans, will play a major role in the movie.

What follows is just a basic idea for the plot that Jonny and I came up with. If I were to actually write this, it would have to be enhanced greatly, with locations and subplots, to be a fully functioning story. We think its a great concept, so without further ado, here is what we came up with...

The movie would begin in S.T.A.R. labs where Dr. Stone is working with Professor Ivo are working on a breakthrough in Artificial Intelligence. Stone's son Vic (the future Cyborg) comes to speak to his father when an explosion occurs in the lab. Vic is mortally wounded and Ivo is (seemingly) killed with much of the research destroyed. Dr. Stone quickly uses what robotic technology he has save his son's life.

While at a fancy humanitarian fundraiser Maxwell Lord seeks out Bruce Wayne to offer him the "oppurtunity" to get in on the ground floor by helping to fund what he calls "a worldwide peace-keeping deterrent."  He won't divulge any further details but does admit to already having a major benefactor. Whane Wayne asks "Who, Luthor?" Lord replies "Bigger." Wayne politely rejects the offer until he can know more about the project. Lord walks away with a smirk. His nose begins bleeding, but he immediately stops the flow with a handkerchief.

Soon after, blue robots begin to attack various metahumans like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash and Green Lantern. All of these robots feature adaptive means of taking on their opponents such as being equipped to to match Aquaman's speed and strength underwater while resisting deep ocean pressures. A robot takes on Superman, matching his immense strength, speed and durability. Batman shows up (I am assuming they would be friends by the end of Man of Steel 2) to disarm the robot with an EM Pulse grenade. Batman and Superman investigate the source of these robots.

It is revealed that Maxwell Lord has quickly risen up the ranks in the clandestine Checkmate organization and become its Black Bishop. Lord has been displaying the power of the OMAC project to other leaders of Checkmate (the various attacks on heroes, the OMACs sight capabilities also record what they see). He claims it to be a project to subdue the rising threats that metahumans have to the rest of the world. Lord goes onto explain that with the 'generous' permission to use of WayneTech's satellite, they can provide worldwide coverage.The White Bishop (Amanda Waller) is suspicious and decides to investigate Lord's newfound status and plans.

Superman and Batman follow the clues to S.T.A.R. labs where they meet the rebuilt Vic Stone (Cyborg), his new body built using the OMAC technology that was being developed. Vic is helping with the clean-up and efforts to get the advanced laboratory back online, partially by his own accessing of the computer systems to recover lost or damaged files. Vic tells his father as well as Superman and Batman that there seems to a lot of files missing concerning the manufacture and artificial intelligence research his father and Ivo had been working on. A small group of OMACs appear and fighting breaks out. Cyborg ends up being helpful in the battle. Cyborg should accompany Superman and him in order to stop the robotic menace.

Maxwell Lord arrives at his massive OMAC building factory and a massive super-computer to coordinate them. It is revealed that Professor Ivo survived the explosion, though not without suffering disfiguring injuries. The mysterious benefactor, remaining in shadows, tells Lord that he obtained Ivo along with the research necessary. Now it Lord up to him to get the Brother Eye system online. Maxwell Lord states that not only everything is going according to plan, but he is stepping up the attacks on metahumans. With this, Lord launches several more OMACs.

An OMAC attacks Green Lantern when Flash intervenes. They work together to defeat the robot. Wonder Woman arrives in Metropolis seeking Superman's help against the increasing robot attacks. Another OMAC appears and after a brief battle, is grabbed by the tentacles of a giant squid and smashed to bits by a blue whale... signaling the arrival of Aquaman.

Amanda Waller and an army of Checkmate agents storm Maxwell Lord's OMAC facility, citing suspicion of psychic persuasion on her fellow agents and superiors, evidenced by Lord's repeated nosebleeds after every encounter (an earlier scene would have shown Waller reviewing video records from the Checkmate 'Castle' headquarters). With a smile, Lord confesses. He is about to launch a swarm of OMACs on Waller and company when the benefactor stops him; he steps out into the open (revealing to the audience that he is Ares). The God of War decides to take them on by himself, something he hasn't had the joy of doing in quite some time. Ares kills the entire Checkmate squad by himself but only wounds Waller so that she might be able to witness the fall of man before she takes her final breath. Maxwell Lord, in a state of shock, wonders who his benefactor really is. Ares tells him that he is a God and that mortal men such as he should know that loyal servitude is the only thing that will keep his head attached to his neck. Then Ares commands Lord to launch an OMAC attack on Checkmate's Castle headquarters, resulting in an awesome, but one-sided battle that sees most of Checkmate killed... all witnessed by Waller. The OMACs then access Checkmate's computer files on every metahuman in the world.

Our details get a little hazy here. I'm not sure where Maxwell Lord's headquarters is nor where the future League members should congregate (probably Metropolis). Batman will find out that his alter ego Bruce Wayne actually did supply the information for his company's satellite to get jacked by Ivo and Lord, due to the latter placing a mental suggestion in Wayne at the fundraiser. The satellite aligns with Brother Eye's coordinates and activates 10,000 OMACs, which Ares has launched to attack every metahuman from the Checkmate files. Superman, Batman, Cyborg, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash and Green Lantern are forced to team up to both launch an assault on Lord's OMAC complex and fight off hundreds of the robots. There will also be scenes from around the world of other metahumans battling OMACs such as Booster Gold, Hawkman, Zatanna, Plastic Man, Shazam and more (setting the stage for more movies!).

After defeating a few hundred OMACs, the Justice League is met by Ares, whom Wonder Woman instantly recognizes and attacks. The God of War knocks her into a building, then proceeds to explain to the others that his strength increases when there is conflict across the Earth. Since the age of Gods ended centuries ago, he has been far weaker. Humans can only generate so much of the violent energies he needs to thrive, so he laid low and sowed the seeds for all out global conflict. (He almost succeeded twice.) Recently, he found that the rise of metahumans has brought him strength not felt since those days of old. Basically, with his newfound strength and invincibility, he's going to conquer the world of men.

Ares magically summons his full armor and takes on Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Aquaman in a huge fight that sees the God of War holding his own against them all. Batman takes on Maxwell Lord in a distraction so Cyborg can break into Brother Eye and disable the OMACs. Not sure how, but the good guys win (really not sure how Ares will be stopped, but I would want him to return in a third Wonder Woman movie called "Fall of the Amazons" cuz that sounds awesome!). Cyborg disables the OMACs, Batman kicks the crap out of Maxwell Lord, Professor Ivo escapes. More shots of other super heroes having defeated OMACs or just fighting them when the robot shuts down. Waller is rescued, but it implies she now has a deep distrust for metahumans. In the end, the Justice League forms.

Look for future installments of Live Action Casting that will feature some of those other superheroes in the DCU. Until then, Stay Strange.

Prophet and Toaster’s Weird Heroclix Teams

When an established superhero dies, it leaves a void that that is sometimes filled by a newcomer taking up the mantle. Perhaps this person was a sidekick or maybe just inspired. Sometimes they are chosen somehow by universal forces beyond their understanding. Whatever the case, they have big shoes to fill as…

The Replacements

We begin with who could arguably be the leader of this group, Dick Grayson. After Bruce Wayne was believed to be dead, but in reality was just a dumb storyline where he was wandering through time, Dick Grayson decided to honor his mentor and wear the cape and cowl. The DC 75^th Batman, the only one as Grayson, is a great, well-rounded piece with Charge that turns to Flurry, free Smoke Cloud, Flight and back dial Perplex. (There will be a lot of Perplex on this team, never a bad thing!) Overall, it’s a solid Batman, regardless of who is under the mask.

Next up is who I would think of as second in command. Much like Batman, everyone thought Captain America died, but I guess Steve Rogers was trapped in a dimension or some bullshit like that. I honestly don’t care and would have left him dead as it paved the way for “Buck-Cap.” James Buchanan Barnes AKA Bucky AKA Winter Soldier took up the red, white and blue mantle of his good friend by becoming the new Captain America. To save points and keep the build under 800 points, I decided to go with the Gravity Feed version of Buck-Cap. For fifty points, he is an ass-kicking piece with Charge, Flurry, Close Combat Expert and a 6 range. With a little perplex and someone using Telekinesis to move Buck-Cap into battle, this most-likely overlooked piece will do some damage! But who will supply the TK?

How about the guy who for a time was the only Green Lantern after Hal Jordan went all Parallaxy? (By the way, that’s totally a word now!) The Kyle Rayner piece I am choosing is from DC 75. He comes with front loaded Perplex, Indomitable and free Telekinesis when he has no action tokens. Plus he can transport the entire team with his Green Lantern Team Ability. It’s a great version of Rayner, despite Jonny Prophet’s irrational hatred toward him. Hey, at least when Kyle was possessed by Parallax he didn’t cause a crappy cross-over storyline that only further muddled the continuity of DC comics!

Ahem… moving on. When Barry Allen sacrificed himself to save the Multi-verse, “Kid Flash” Wally West graduated from sidekick status to become the new Flash. And now he doesn’t exist. Seriously? What the hell, New 52? Anyways, the DC 10^th series gave us a great version of the Wally West Flash. Beyond the obvious Hypersonic Speed, he sports Perplex and 2 special powers; the first giving him Charge, Flurry and Exploit Weakness and the other granting him a version of “Armor Piercing.” In other news, I am considering building a team of major characters who don’t exist in the New 52. (Seriously, they have 5 human Green Lanterns but couldn’t find a place for Wally West or Donna Troy?)

Next up is Hawkeye… Girl Hawkeye that is! Kate Bishop didn’t have super powers so she took up the identity of the (then) deceased Avengers sharpshooter. Even though Hawkeye returned from the dead, she still was allowed to keep the name. And hey, there’s a Young Avengers book out! Everything’s coming up roses! Girl Hawkeye has an impressive 8 range with Running Shot and the Special Power to Perplex her own stats. With the rest of the Perplex on this team to increase her attack, range and damage she could be one deadly sniper.

It took a while before Bruce Wayne let Tim Drake to fill the void left by the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd. Upon becoming the sidekick to the Batman, Drake took the name Red Robin… actually just Robin (The New 52 can suck it). His version from Arkham Asylum is both point efficient and provides some necessary Outwit right off the bat (ha!), Leap/Climb to get into position as well as Stealth to stay hidden courtesy of the Batman Team Ability. Beyond that he has 6 range with 2 targets, Smoke Cloud, Incapacitate, Perplex and more Outwit at the end of his dial. With a little Telekinesis, he can be easily placed into battle if needed. But there couldn’t possibly be more TK, could there?

Why, yes there is… brought to you by the clone of Superman and Lex Luthor. Just don’t call him Superboy! Well, I guess we have to since Superman returned from the dead (spoiler from 19 years ago!). Anyways, I chose the Reign of the Supermen version of Kon-El because it was the point where he considered himself the new Superman. In speaking of Superman, he has the Superman Team Ability which can allow him to see through opponent Stealth. He also brings with him front loaded “tactile” Telekinesis, Charge, Perplex (shocking, I know), Super Strength, Invulnerability and Close Combat Expert at various points of his dial. So just like with Kyle Rayner, you get to keep a heavy back to position others until you need him to join the fray.

The last two amazingly have kept their inherited mantles as their predecessors have (gasp) stayed dead! The first is the new Spider-man of the Ultimate universe Miles Morales. His is a simple dial with Charge and Super Strength right from the start and a trait that gives him Stealth. His modest damage stats can easily be enhanced by the abundance of Perplex on the team so like BuckCap, this rookie Spider-man can be a cheap bruiser.

The other superhero whose predecessor never miraculously came back from the dead (without a Black Lantern ring) is Blue Beetle. After Ted Kord was killed, the Scarab found a new host in teenager Jaime Reyes and unlocked its true potential. This piece should be pretty useful with Running Shot, Penetrating/Psychic Blast, Pulse Wave and the always painful Mystics Team Ability. Blue Beetle also features a one-time damage evading power, the possibility of using Blades/Claws/Fangs and self Probability Control.

You know, it’s kind of sad that out of these 9 replacement heroes, only 2 of their predecessors did not come back to life. Anyways, our build looks like this:

Captain America (CA 205) - 50

Batman (DC75 031) - 77

Blue Beetle (D10A 009) - 94

Flash (D10A 010) - 105

Kyle Rayner (DC75) – 169

Hawkeye (SI) - 57

Robin (AA) - 79

Spider-man (ASM 039) - 34

Superboy (SM) – 125

---------------------------

790

This leaves 10 points left for Feats or Relics. Given the lack of Probability Control on this team, maybe having the Reality Gem added to make an even 800 points could be useful (as long as one of your pieces rolls a 5 or 6). I haven’t had a chance to play this team yet, but with the all that Perplex, I predict it will kick serious butt.

Until next time, stay strange. 

Toaster's Ramblings... RE: Justice League Movie

After witnessing Marvel’s The Avengers make in what monetary terms comes out to about a small nation’s GDP, Warner Brothers is salivating at the chance to rake in mega-bucks courtesy of their own superhero-super-team movie… the Justice League. By the looks of it, however, Warner Brothers seems to be going about it all wrong. Rather than take the slow approach that Marvel did where they introduce the necessary characters one film at a time while establishing future plot threads therein, Warner Brothers and DC seem to be just running in guns blazing.  

Now let’s stop and evaluate all of this so far. The first real step toward making a DC super-team film was made with Green Lantern… which under-performed and was not exactly embraced by the geek masses. However, WB immediately green-lit a sequel rather than go back to the drawing board. The next film hasn’t even come out yet… Man of Steel. DC and WB have a lot riding on this newest Superman film. If this one doesn’t cut the mustard, they are in serious trouble. With only these two films, they are talking about releasing a Justice League movie NEXT YEAR!

Jonny Prophet and I can see disaster approaching. First, you have way too much background to cover with these characters. You can’t just introduce Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman and so on in a two hour movie and expect a satisfying story. Do they expect to cram in a villain too? Green Lantern tried to do too much in a single movie and it showed. The other problem is that the rumors persist that the villain of this film will be Darkseid. We ask ‘what do you do for an encore?’ Darkseid is like the baddest of the bad. The Avengers didn’t start out fighting Thanos. You have to build to something that epic!

Oh, and there’s also this nasty rumor that WB and DC are just going to use the “Robin” John Blake character from the Dark Knight Rises as Batman. You might as well just flush any Justice League franchise down the toilet at that point. Both Jonny and I say ‘end the Dark Knight trilogy and start over!’ We love Joseph Gordon Levitt, but people want Bruce Wayne as Batman, not some new guy. Plus, a lot of people were already irritated by the ending of Dark Knight Rises. They need to just start the Batman franchise over. You don’t even need to have the new Batman movie debut until after Justice League, I mean, come on… everyone knows about Batman as is. I say lets make a new Batman franchise and this time have Robin (preferable not a 20 year old this time!). Also, a new Batman franchise means you get to have Joker again!  Hell, add Harley Quinn too! People will go to a Batman movie, especially one with Joker and Harley!

So this leads me to a special project that Jonny and I have been putting together. Over the next few months, we will be putting up a series of Live Action Castings of every member of the Justice League (minus Superman and Green Lantern of course, since they are established). It will be the “what we would do if we were in charge of Warner Brothers” challenge that will establish what movies would come out before the Justice League movie as well as after and the JL film itself! That’s right, we aren’t just bitching; we are coming up with solutions! So tune in this week when the first of the Justice League Live Action Castings will be uploaded!

Until then, stay strange.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas...

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas I saw on DVD… the Justice League episode “Comfort and Joy”

On the heels of the successes of Batman the Animated Series and Superman the Animated Series, a new series comprised of DC’s premiere superhero team the Justice League debuted on Cartoon Network. Justice League continued Warner Brother’s and Bruce Timm’s animated DC universe by bringing in new interpretations of classic characters and huge story-lines involving some of the biggest super-villains around. Most importantly, Justice League continued to deliver the great writing that made the preceding shows so amazing.

  “Comfort and Joy” begins with Superman, Green Lantern John Stewart, Hawkgirl, Flash and Martian Manhunter helping save an otherworldly civilization from certain doom. Once the threat was taken care of, the group adjourns to celebrate Christmas in their own ways. The episode is split between three storylines; one involves the Flash, the next Superman and Martian Manhunter and the final one Green Lantern and Hawkgirl.

Green Lantern shows Hawkgirl, a warrior from the planet Thanagar, what the Earth holiday means to him. After an epic snowball fight involving each using their powers, Hawkgirl takes Green Lantern to a distant world to show him what she considers a good time. They end up in a bar full of various types of extra-terrestrials. This good time that Hawkgirl was talking about is to start a massive bar brawl, in which every creature joyfully takes part. In the end, the experience clearly brings John Stewart and Hawkgirl closer together, as the series continually hints that they end up together.

Flash goes home to Central City to visit an orphanage. The kids desperately want a sold out toy called DJ Rubber Ducky, an electronic doll that talks and makes farting noises in the form of a dance beat. Flash vows to get the toy for the kids and eventually manages to get one from the manufacturer in Japan. On his way back to the orphanage, Flash encounters a museum being wrecked by the Ultra-Humanite, a giant albino gorilla with the brain of a mad scientist. In their fight, Ultra-Humanite falls onto and breaks the DJ Rubber Ducky toy. Seeing how disappointed Flash is about the predicament, Ultra-Humanite helps rebuild the toy.

Feeling alone and out of place during the festive yuletide season, Martian Manhunter is brought with Superman to Smallville to spend Christmas with his parents. Still feeling like he doesn’t belong, Martian Manhunter goes around the town to see how everyone interacts and celebrates. During this time, he discovers that the warmth and joy of the season is extended to him and that even a lonely Martian can find his place.  

This Christmas episode really went above and beyond for me. There is so much to love about “Comfort and Joy.” There are great little moments within, such as learning that Ma and Pa Kent still use lead wrapping paper on Clark’s gifts so he can’t peek and a great callback to Martian Manhunter’s love of chocolate sandwich cookies from the comics. More importantly, “Comfort and Joy” really encapsulates the ideas of Christmas to me. Every time I watch it, I am left with a good feeling.

 

On the Merry Meter I give “Comfort and Joy” a full 10 out of 10.

This concludes my Twelve Days of Christmas cartoon episode reviews. I hope you liked them. It was fun to watch many of these over again, some of them I hadn’t seen in many years! Hope you all have a Merry Christmas. (And for those who don’t celebrate Christmas, have a good December 25^th anyway.)

Stay strange everyone.  

Prophet & Toaster's Weird Heroclix Teams

Jonny Prophet and I both play Heroclix. We love to create unique teams based on weird ideas or themes and then try them out… often times against other weird teams. So I thought every so often I would share one of these forces to give all you Clixers some new ideas and inspirations next time you want to play a fun game. I am starting with one of our favorite teams… the Dark Justice League.

Not to be confused with the New 52’s Justice League Dark, the Dark Justice League was inspired by Marvel’s Dark Avengers. Jonny and Prophet and I have debated and play tested many candidates to join the team and this is the best one we came up with. So let’s imagine that DC went the same direction as Marvel during the “Dark Reign” event and the bad guys took over. Who would join a villainous version of the Justice League posing as their heroic counterparts? This is our line-up:

First off, I would assume that this new version of the Justice League would be formed by Lex Luthor (much like how Norman Osborn is now Marvel’s Lex Luthor). I have gone with the soon to be released updated version of Lex Luthor in his Battlesuit in the DC 10^th (Heroclix) anniversary set. This allows him to be a threat when on the battlefield and also brings a similarity to the robo-armored Iron Patriot.

Now Luthor would need to find someone who hates Superman to be his field leader and Man of Steel imposter. I imagine he could convince Zod to not so much work for him but to work with him. Plus, you just know that both would be plotting their own betrayal. I have gone with the only true Zod made in Heroclix, the super rare from the Superman set.

I am not really sure if Luthor could convince the Wonder Woman hating sorceress Circe to work for him, what with her hatred of men. However, Luthor is good at striking deals with powerful beings (i.e. Brainiac). I bet he could sign her on as a Wonder Woman imposter, perhaps with the promise that she could punish some loathsome males in the process.

The imposter for Batman was a topic of lots of debate and uncertainty… then it dawned on me. Lex Luthor could totally hire Deathstroke to work as his Batman and get him to dress in an interpretation of the Caped Crusader. Hell, Deathstroke is a mercenary after all. Plus, he hates Batman! Not to mention, few on the planet (save for Batman himself) can go toe to toe with Slade Wilson. It’s a slam dunk if you ask me, especially when you use the amazingly effective new Deathstroke from the Justice League 52 gravity feed set!

Zoom is kind of a no-brainer for Flash, being the Reverse Flash and all. Luthor could convince him to “replace” the Scarlet Speedster with ease. Now, I’m not sure if he would be “Professor Zoom” Eobard Thawne or Wally West’s version of Zoom as Hunter Zolomon. But both are similar in power to the Arkham Asylum Zoom, so I would just go with that.

For a while I went with a yellow ringed version of Sinestro as Green Lantern, but in the New 52 he is a Green Lantern, so now I am going with the great movie version from the Green Lantern Gravity Feed set. I’m guessing Luthor could sign up Sinestro if it meant he could disgrace his former protégé and nemesis Hal Jordan… or get some semblance of power over humans. That way Luthor can say he’s the Green Lantern of the new Justice League and guess what? He is.

I’m going to be honest here… the weak link of this team is making Ocean Master the new Aquaman. I didn’t want Black Manta because he just isn’t right, plus I don’t think he can do what Arthur Curry does anyway. I had considered King Shark, but Jonny brought up that Luthor needs to pass him off to the public as the ‘new’ Aquaman. You can’t do that with a big shark man. But Luthor could easily convince Arthur Curry’s jealous half-brother to usurp his Aquaman persona and being basically human, he could look the part. So we went with the DC 75^th Anniversary set’s Ocean Master. He’s alright, not great though. The best he has to offer is probability control if he is in the water.

Lastly, since he is now a part of the New 52’s Justice League, I have to replace Cyborg. One might suggest Brainiac, but Luthor would want someone he can control. He would know that Brainiac would just be bad news. (The way Osborn should have known that convincing the Void to possess Sentry to do his dirty work would end badly. But hey, nobody said Norman was as smart as Lex!) So the easiest fit and most logical would be someone who has worked for Luthor before… Metallo. Now what’s great is that the newer Metallo isn’t just a cyborg with a Kryptonite heart. He can morph his body, meld with machinery and even control computers! He is basically an evil version of Cyborg! And the Brave and the Bold version of Metallo is plenty evil enough to round out this team.

So here they are… your Dark Justice League!

(D10A020) ‘Battlesuit’ Lex Luthor (analog to Iron Patriot/Norman Osborn) – 160

(SM053) Zod (as Superman) - 188

(AA045) Circe (as Wonder Woman) – 149

(JL52020) Deathstroke (as Batman) – 120

(AA036) Zoom (as Flash) - 130

(GLGF005) Sinestro (as Green Lantern) - 135

(AN027) Ocean Master (as Aquaman) - 65

(BB033) Metallo (as Cyborg) - 182

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1129 out of 1200 (71 points left for feats)

Try having them go up against the New 52 Justice League (probably minus Lex) or have them all fight the theme worded (1183 point) Dark Avengers team.

Until next time, stay strange.

The Saga begins