Toaster's Summer Movie Round-Up (part 1)

As promised, here is part the first of my reviews (or more accurately thoughts and observations) on the many films I saw in theaters over the summer. So without further ado, here we go:

Furious 7 - Yeah, this wasn't technically a summer movie, but it might as well have been. It had a ton of hype and made a huge amount of money... more than many supposed summer blockbusters like Tomorrowland, Ted 2 and Fantastic Four. Part of the hype was, of course, that this was the late Paul Walker's final film and that the final version of Furious 7 had to be redone after his untimely death while shooting the movie. So the plot is sees the gang avenging the death of one of their own at the hands of the terrorist brother of the previous film's villain. (Big props, by the way, to Luke Evans for getting done up in lots of burn make-up only to appear comatose in the film for maybe ten seconds. That's a team player!)

Jason Statham plays the main baddie, a pretty high profile name for this franchise. He had one of the most bad ass pimp introduction. You see him vowing to his comatose brother to get revenge on his behalf, then tells a doctor and nurse hiding in the corner of the room to take good care of him. Then, Statham proceeds to nonchalantly leave the hospital, revealing the reversed trail of the numerous dead bodies of police and security as well as property damage that he caused getting to see his brother. I was also happy to see Tony Jaa on film again. Oh, and since Gina Carano had a fight sequence against Michelle Rodriguez, Ronda Rousey had to have one too I guess. And like against Carano, I don't think Rodriguez could take Rousey either. That said, Michelle Rodriguez is a bad ass that I'm sure could kick my ass.

Did you like the last installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise, or the one before that, or the one before that? Then you will probably like this one too. It's big, loud and dumb, but it is a lot of fun to watch, full of the usual stunts and action you come to expect from Dominic Toretto, Brian O'Conner and company. Just know that the ending will probably make you cry... seriously. It's a perfect send off to Paul Walker and you better bring tissues.

Ex Machina - Another movie that wasn't released in the summer, but this one at least gained a following for a few months which led to more theaters showing it and ultimately my seeing Ex Machina sometime in May. I already reviewed this movie here, so I won't ramble on too much about it. This was a great science fiction film and in today's world of over the top sci-fi films (Jurassic World, Prometheus, etc.) a bit of a rarity in that it was somewhat lower budget with a very small cast. Also, Ex Machina was a thriller that moved at a gradually accelerating pace, always keeping the viewer guessing at what was really going on from what tiny pieces of the puzzle you are given.

The story in a nutshell is a low level employee of a technological corporation gets the oppurtunity to test the CEO's secret project... to determine how human his android creation truly is. The main cast is great, three of Hollywood's fastest rising stars in Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson and Alicia Vikander. The special effects were pretty amazing, creating realistic looking synthetic humans, blending artificial parts with human looking features. I highly recommend this film for any lovers of real science fiction, not just blockbusters or reboots or adaptations, but of unique, thought provoking films like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Altered States and Metropolis (which Ex Machina, like much of sci-fi cinema, owes a huge debt).

Avengers: Age of Ultron - The first real installment for the summer movie season, I also already did a write up for the movie that you can see here. Therefore, I don't have much to add that I didn't already say, except that the longer that time has passed since I saw Avengers 2, the less I like it. It's not a bad movie, but it has a lot of flaws. I get the idea that Ultron was basically an extended personality of Tony Stark and therefore James Spader was more or less doing a Robert Downey Jr. impersonation. It's just that the Ultron I know and love from the comics was not an impression. It was a soulless, cruel killing machine. The Ultron in the movie dicked around too much, making weird decisions like wanting to be more human by, for some reason, designing Vision. His idea of wiping out humans was needlessly complicated and weird.

In the end, I feel the same way about Avengers 2 that I did about Iron Man 3. I didn't hate it, I will probably get it for Christmas, but I'm not excited. When the first Avengers came out, I bought it the day it was released, even though I was on vacation and had to drive an hour to some ghetto Wal-Mart in Delaware (not realizing Ocean City, Maryland has a Wal Mart just off the strip... Oops!). I wanted to show my wife the movie and see it again for myself. Avengers 2 I'm sort of ho-hum about. It also doesn't help that a friend summarized his thoughts on the movie in the most obvious and ruinous way: Tony Stark and Bruce Banner made a bad guy for the Avengers to fight. Yeah... kind of kills it when it's put into that perspective.

Mad Max: Fury Road - Possibly the best movie of the summer. It's the only one I saw twice and loved it just as much the second time as I did the first. The way I described the trailer to people is the same way I describe the movie itself... it's like if The Road Warrior was given a case of Red Bull. Fury Road was insane and just bursting with imagination and absurdly amazing ideas. Why did the War Boys spray their mouths silver before commanding their brethren to "Witness!" their glorious death in battle that will send them to Valhalla! It doesn't matter because it was awesome. The stunts were cool, the bad guys were twisted and amusing (Immortan Joe was epic), Tom Hardy makes for a great Max Rockatansky and Charlize Theron made for a bad ass female protagonist as Imperator Furiosa. Oh, and Holy shit, it was hard to believe that Nicolas Hoult was under that make-up as Nux.

It doesn't seem like Mad Max: Fury Road should have been as good as it was. I never would have thought I would see a highly rated and well reviewed Mad Max film, especially a reboot with a different lead thirty years after the last installment which... well... sucked. (Yes, the fight in the Thunderdome was awesome, but then the movie just kept going after that!) In fact, Jonny Prophet's one sentence review of Fury Road was that "it makes me hate Thunderdome so fucking much." Oh what a day, what a lovely day!

Spy - I did not originally want to see this movie. It didn't seem like something I would like. However, Spy had great reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and it was a slow movie week so, lo and behold, I found myself watching Melissa McCarthy, the world's least likely spy. Truth be told, it wasn't bad. It was a pretty funny movie, had a decent story and a great cast which also included Jude Law, Alison Janney, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannivale and Jason Statham.

Jason Statham, by the way, stole the show for me. He played this hard ass CIA operative that would boast about having done ridiculous and impossible feats such as reattaching his own arm. Of course he was more talk than anything else, but he worked well opposite McCarthy.

It's funny, this is the first movie starring Melissa McCarthy I have seen. I wasn't necessarily opposed to seeing her movies (except Tammy). In fact, I liked her on Gilmore Girls. I find it funny that at an age when most women in Hollywood find it hard to find work, her career is red hot.

So Spy was good, but I wouldn't call it great. It wasn't even the funniest spy movie I have seen this year (that goes to Kingsmen). There are times when it feels a little forced or has a level of contrived cheesiness, usually regarding making a middle aged overweight woman seem like a highly effective bad ass secret agent or how in the end everything works out so well for everyone despite the overwhelming odds against such a thing. That said, it was funny and entertaining, definitely worth the price of admission (matinee as it was).

Jurassic World - The biggest movie of the summer and possibly the year (we'll see what Star Wars has to say about that!) was exactly what I expected. It was a loud, fun, slightly stupid popcorn flick. It was also the best Jurassic Park since the original... though it didn't surpass that one. The magic just wasn't there, the thrill of seeing an island of dinosaurs... twenty years later it seems like old hat. I think the filmmakers knew that and implied such in the film, making a similar statement about patrons no longer being wowed by regular dinosaurs. Thus was the motivation for the creation of the plot device known as Indominus Rex.

Make no mistake, Jurassic World is a science fiction monster movie not unlike the original Alien, Predator or even some kaiju movie like Cloverfield or Godzilla. The film is spent trying to stop the Indominus Rex from slaughtering everyone and everything. Yes, the other Jurassic films had their share of monster movie moments, but in Jurassic World the other dinosaurs were not really threats (except the flying ones, which aren't technically dinosaurs, but I digress).

I have to question why they would even make the Indominus Rex. It's like in the movie Deep Blue Sea when they made the brain capacity of sharks bigger and where shocked when they became smarter and more efficient at killing. Scientists for Jurassic World decided it would be a good idea to combine the genes of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, Velociraptor, a whole bunch of other dinosaurs as well as cuttlefish and some sort of tree frog. The end result is a huge intelligent carnivorous dinosaur with horns, functional arms with opposable thumbs, massive claws, the ability to camouflage itself and control it's body temperature. Yeah, nothing bad could possibly happen there.

I also have to question how Jurassic World would have even been funded. Surely everyone had found out about the massacre that occurred right before the original Jurassic Park was set to open. If not, I'm pretty damn sure they heard about a fucking Tyrannosaurus Rex wreaking havoc in San Francisco. I guess you could argue that "when there's money to be made..." of course they would find funding. The question then comes down to the tourists... which is more dominant, the desire to see an actual living dinosaur or the desire not to be eaten by an actual living dinosaur. Strangely, up until the scientists decided to play God, it seemed like Jurassic World actually did have decent control over the animals.

The special effects were good. I heard some grumblings about dinosaurs looking less real than in the original film... they didn't seem that fake looking to me. I really liked the design of the park itself, the interactive displays and rolling ball cars... it seemed appropriately high-tech and made it more plausible that they could actually raise and contain dinosaurs rather than in the original where all they had were fences.

So before I close this review, I want to point out a few tidbits from Jurassic World. Chris Pratt is now an official A-lister super star in Hollywood. Vincent D'Onofrio is absolutely wasted in this movie, but it's still fun seeing him. Finally, the end battle of the Indominus Rex versus the Tyrannosaurus and the Velociraptor was total fan service, like a dinosaur equivalent of The Avengers. Still, dinosaurs running amok make for big, loud, fun movies.

Inside Out - On Rotten Tomatoes I read on of their review snippets that said: "Welcome back Pixar. You've been sorely missed." Truer words were never spoken. To me, Pixar was always a cut above the rest, setting a bar that few could match and seemingly nobody could surpass. I had a feeling that Inside Out was going to be a return to form for Pixar, which as of late had strayed from their usual level of excellence with what I would consider 'Dreamworks level' movies like Brave and Monsters University... in other words decent but nothing special.

Before seeing Inside Out, the premise excited me. Past Pixar films had been able to make amazing stories from eccentric ideas, such as a virtually dialogue free movie about two small robots that fall in love or an elderly widower rediscovering his love of life and adventure after turning his house into makeshift air balloon. The idea of Inside Out exploring the beings representing our emotions that live in our heads seemed right up Pixar's alley.

Inside Out did not disappoint. It was funny, imaginative, touching (yes it made me cry and yes, I have already established before that I'm a sissy... moving on) and like the best Pixar films, it delved into ideas far deeper than what is on the surface. In this case, the film explores what it means to grow up and, much to TivoGirl's revelation, what use there is for sadness. I only hope that The Good Dinosaur is as good as Inside Out... because I don't have a lot of confidence in Finding Dory. 

I should have Part 2 of this up soon. Until then, Stay Strange.

Toaster's Ramblings - The Fantastic Flop!

It looks like I got my wish. The new Fantastic Four movie is a massive failure, likely to be remembered as the big budget flop of 2015, the worst major studio super hero film ever and a bomb on par with Lone Ranger and (sadly) John Carter. The big question is... now what?

As of right now, Twentieth Century Fox seems to be trying to push ahead with the planned sequel to Fantastic Four, despite the estimated $60 million loss and the overwhelmingly negative reviews (an incredible 9% on Rotten Tomatoes!). Nobody is sure if this is out of the stubborn will to force a square peg into a circle hole or if Fox just really wants to stick it to Marvel Studios. I think it might be a combination of both.

As I said before, Fox clearly wants to make their own 'super ensemble' film like Marvel's Avengers movies. They are hoping to have the Fantastic Four crossover in some bizarre fashion with the X-men... possibly to fight Galactus. Personally I think fighting the Shi'ar would be better, but the whole idea is sketchy to me. The two sides don't have much in common. The biggest crossover between the two teams that I know of in the comics involved Reed and Sue Richards' mutant son Franklin, a character that is a far way from even being born yet in the films, especially with the reboot.

I honestly think Fox should cut their losses and either outright sell the property or make a deal with Marvel Studios to co-own the movie rights to the Fantastic Four the way Sony and Marvel did with Spider-man. Selling the property could recoup the losses from this latest reboot folly, while a deal would potentially lead to a Fantastic Four film that works and still brings money to Fox. As a fan, I would be far more interested in a crossover with the Avengers than one with the X-men.

I think Fox is far better off just focusing on the mutants. There are hundreds of characters to choose from, many teams to create and many villains to face. Plus, as I said before, the mutants existing in their own world makes more sense anyway. Why would the public love Spider-man and Thor but fear Colossus and Iceman? That said, if a possible deal involved Marvel being able to use mutants, that could be amazing. Wolverine could join the Avengers! Deadpool could mess with every hero from Spider-man to Iron Man!

One critic's review brought up something that Fox should really consider. He asked whether moviegoers were actually eager to see a Fantastic Four film after the last two movies in 2005 and 2007. This is a really good question. I would also add, who is really excited for a movie where the Fantastic Four meets the X-men? It's like a bizarre Abbot & Costello experiment gone wrong. The Avengers works as an ensemble film because they are an established super team in the comics; people want to see big names like Captain America, Thor, Iron Man and Hulk team up and battle super villains. However, if people don't really want to see your Fantastic Four movie, why would they turn out in droves to see them alongside the X-men? Sure, you will likely get the crowd that was already going to see an X-men movie, but that isn't what Fox wants, now is it? They want their own Avengers-like cash cow where people will cram the theaters to see. But if people don't give a crap about the Fantastic Four, then Fox will be pretty much just showing us an X-men movie featuring four new mutants with the powers of super-stretching, invisibility, fire and being a big rock monster.

Yes, the argument can be made that Guardians of the Galaxy may not have had a big fan-base salivating over a live action film (for note: I was), but Marvel was well aware of this. They knew the risks, but placed faith in their script, the director and the finished product... all things that based on the rumors Fox never did. Plus, Guardians never took itself too seriously and preferred to be seen as a comedy-action film. Fox clearly wanted their Fantastic Four film to be a super-team version of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, something that doesn't really work with the source material.

I also want to point out that Marvel Films got lucky with Ant-man, another lesser known property that turned out to be a hit for them. If you recall, they had a falling out with their director and had to find a new one as well as do script rewrites. This often spells disaster, but Marvel was able to pull it off for the most part (Jonny and I think the movie was a little uneven at points). Now Marvel had the advantage of more time to work with, something Fox never gave themselves when forcing reshoots and edits to Fantastic Four. If Fox had given themselves another six months to a year, maybe the movie would have turned out better... maybe not.

As Jonny Prophet reminded me, after Amazing Spider-man 2 under-performed, Sony held firm to the idea of moving ahead with a Sinister Six movie, Amazing Spider-man 3 and a bunch of other spin-off movies. Less than a year later, Marvel Studios is having Spider-man make a cameo in Captain America: Civil War. Pride can be a difficult thing to swallow, but over time things can change. I definitely think it is in Fox's best interest to either sell the Fantastic Four film rights back to Marvel or at least cut a deal with them. They should just focus on making their mutant movie universe the best it can be and stop wasting time and money on a failed franchise. It's time to let go, Fox. It's just better for everyone that way... better for you, better for Marvel Films, better for the legendary comic book that deserves a great film franchise and better for the fans.

Toaster's Ramblings - The Convergance of the Secret Wars (or How Marvel and DC Had the Same Summer Event)

It seems that Marvel and DC both have pretty much run the same storyline event for the summer. Both Secret Wars and Convergence deal with time and reality getting smashed together into a jumbled mess of different characters from different worlds, where they all fight and eventually everything gets (sort of but not really) rebooted. I do find it amusing that DC has had the New 52 around less than five years and already needs to do a "soft" reboot. (A soft reboot, by the way, is when some parts of a universe get a fresh start while others continue on as normal.) Now maybe it was just a coincidence that both comic companies ran similar events, but I doubt it. Marvel has apparently been working on Secret Wars for five years, while reviews suggest that Convergence felt rushed in many ways. DC probably got wind of what Marvel was planning and set out to do their own version and release it a few months early (Convergence started this past Spring and is already over. Secret Wars is currently ongoing.)

Honestly, I haven't been following either event. Five dollars an issue for Secret Wars is too much, I would rather wait for a trade edition. As for DC, I'm pretty much done with them. Not only have I grown to hate the New 52, but DC decided to implement a new way of placing advertising into their comic books...

DC You? More like DC... You Suck!

Yeah, so as long as that ridiculous shit is going on, I'm out. If Marvel does it too, I'll be done with them as well. I don't mind a page add, or even a two-page add, but I will not share comic book art and storyline on the same page as an advertisement. That's bullshit. Not only does it take you out of the story, but it is disrespectful to the very medium of comic book art. Imagine if instead of specific commercial breaks on television, commercials randomly play in the middle of your show. Let's say you're watching CW's Arrow and Ollie is about to fight Deathstroke and just as the first punch is thrown, we cut to a Clearasil commercial, then go back to the punch in mid-swing. It would kind of piss you off, now wouldn't it? Well, split-page ads piss me off just the same way.

I don't really know what the post-Convergence DC universe looks like, but the Marvel one is interesting. First of all, much of the pre-Secret Wars developments remain intact. Falcon is still the new Captain America and Steve Rogers is still old. Thor is still a woman (Jane Foster). Wolverine is still dead. The Fantastic Four, as a team, is also dead with Human Torch hanging out with the Inhumans and Thing the new pilot for the Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not really sure where Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman will end up, though the latter was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. before the event.

The list of the post-Secret Wars title launches has been released and while some really don't interest me at all, others are quite intriguing. Here are my thoughts on the upcoming books:

A-Force #1 - AKA the "female Avengers." Seems a little on the nose to me. "You want more gender diversity? Have an entire book of woman Avengers!" It almost borderlines on gimmicky to me. I will say that there seem to be far more women Avengers than their were in the 90's when most seemed to be female versions of popular male heroes (She-Hulk, Spider-woman), but that may just be due to the fact that in the last 10 years, EVERYONE seems to be an Avenger. I also wonder, who will a team of female Avengers fight? Will they face female villains? How many female villains does Marvel have that are an Avengers level threat? I might thumb through the first issue to see what this book is like, but I don't expect much.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - I don't watch the show, why would I read the comic?

All-New All-Different Avengers #1 - I might actually get a subscription to this one. I like the younger line-up of Nova (Sam Alexander), Ms. Marvel and Spider-man (Miles Morales) contrasted with veterans like "Falcon America," Jane Foster Thor, Iron Man and Vision. It has a Young Justice vibe to it.

All-New Wolverine #1 - While it's interesting that X-23 is the new Wolverine, I doubt I will buy the book.

All-New X-Men #1-  So are they still the original X-men from the 60's (or whenever they're supposed to come from, something tells me the present Cyclops isn't in his mid-50's)? I don't know. I didn't read the book before and I'm pretty sure I won't read it now. It seems like the novelty of young versions running around with their older counterparts would have worn off by now.

Amazing Spider-Man #1 - I'm guessing this is the Peter Parker Spider-man since Miles Morales has the non-adjective Spider-man book. I don't know... I might look at it. Maybe it will be unique. I doubt I will buy it, though.

Angela: Asgard’s Assassin #1 - I liked when Angela was time-displaced and hung out with the Guardians of the Galaxy, having a friendly rivalry with Gamora. Then for some reason it was revealed she was Asgardian... which is weird. I guess Marvel wanted to start over with her back-story, but I would have preferred that she is the same character from Spawn that now is stuck in the 616 universe... and occasionally alludes to her former life. I'm just not sure I care about her as Asgard's assassin... the Asgardians already have Sif and the Jane Foster Thor... I might flip through the book, but I doubt I will be impressed.

Ant-Man #1 - Never been much of an Ant-man fan. The whole shrinking thing never seemed that useful unless you are evil (like Atomica in Forever Evil). Then you can scramble people's brains or enter their body and grow to normal size so your victim pops like a balloon. But commanding an army of ants? Um... I guess you could get them to bring you all the loose change on the ground for miles around. I guess there are actual uses in espionage, but I never really cared. I doubt I will pick up this book.

Captain Marvel #1 - I'm glad that Carol Danvers is getting her due as Marvel's elite super heroine. However, I haven't read any of her books so far. Not sure if I will start here, either.

Carnage #1 - I don't get the point of this one. Is Carnage still a serial killing monster or are they trying to make him a hero now? Either way, I'm not sure it will work as an ongoing series.

Contest of Champions #1 - Place your bets now about how long this book will last! If the writer's are smart, there will be an end point, like with Avengers Arena. This is not a premise that will last long.

Daredevil #1 - I might flip through this book. I loved the Netflix series (who didn't?) and am curious if Marvel will try to make the comic more like the show. I think Daredevil is in serious need of new villains, good new villains. Most of his villains are lame. They can't just keep going back to Kingpin and Bullseye. Like I said, I will give it a once over, but I'm not expecting much.

Deadpool #1 - I like Deadpool and as such will probably get this book. The writers, however, have big shoes to fill. The previous volume's writing team, including comedian Brian Posehn, made a really good run full of hilarity, some genius moments (the various "lost" throwback issues of Daredevil from decades past), and a great supporting crew including ghost Ben Franklin.

Doctor Strange #1 - Maybe the film will give me new appreciation for the Sorceror Supreme, but it won't be in time for me to start reading this book.

Drax #1 - I will check this book out for one reason... former WWE star CM Punk is co-writing. It doesn't guarantee that the book will be any good, but like with any celebrity writer, it's worth a look.

Extraordinary X-Men #1 - Good news... in addition to being Uncanny, All-New, All-Different, Extreme and Astonishing, the X-men are also Extraordinary. It has an interesting line-up with Colossus, Iceman, Jean Grey (from the past), Nightcrawler (whom I thought was dead), Magik, Storm and Old Man Logan... because Marvel is really serious about Wolverine staying dead. Will Jean Grey discuss with the Iceman of the present about how his past version is gay? Only time will tell. I might glance at this book, but I'm not expecting anything "extraordinary." (see what I did there? I'm clever.)

Guardians of the Galaxy #1 - I was reading the previous run and loved the Abnett/Lanning run that has inspired a new age for Marvel's space universe and renewed love for many forgotten characters. (Ten years ago, did you think you would see a movie starring Star-Lord? Did you even know who the hell Star-Lord was? My point exactly.) Brian Michael Bendis is still writing this new volume, but I guess now Rocket Raccoon is the leader and Thing is the new pilot. And Star-Lord is a woman. I'm game, why not?

Hawkeye #1 - The only time I ever read a Hawkeye book was when he led The Thunderbolts way back when. I'm okay with leaving it that way. If I need my bow and arrow fix, CW's got me covered.

Howard the Duck #1 - Um... no.

Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - This one will be among the first wave of cancellations, mark my words. Unless they go back in time to fight Nazis with the real Howling Commandos... that I would check out.

Illuminati #1 - What is the purpose of a book about the elitist secret club of Marvel? Do they fight as a team? Are they a team? Do I care? I can answer one of those questions.

Invincible Iron Man #1 - I might glance at this book. Here's the thing, I love the movie version of Tony Stark, because Robert Downey Jr. gives the character a great deal of wit and fast comedic timing, because if not for those, let's be honest, we would all think Tony Stark was a self-righteous prick. Well, the Tony Stark of the comics, even after the debut of the first Iron Man movie, is a self-righteous prick. However, I did enjoy Tony Stark during his brief tenure with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Why? Because Brian Michael Bendis writes Tony as witty and fun. So, since he's writing this book, I will give it a look.

Karnak #1 - The only reason I'm going to check out this book is because Warren Ellis is the writer. I expect I'm not the only one who shares that sentiment.

The Mighty Thor #1 - Is this still Jane Foster Thor? That's cool. I didn't read her book before Secret Wars, why mess with success?

Ms. Marvel #1 - I missed the boat on this book. I've heard great things and will probably check out trades of the previous volume. As such, I might thumb through this new volume.

New Avengers #1 - Not sure why they didn't just call this A.I.M.: Avengers Idea Mechanics. This line-up is crazy. The team is led by Sunspot and features Wiccan, Hulkling, Squirrel-girl, Hawkeye, Power Man, White Tiger and Songbird. I may have to check this book out based on the line-up alone. However, I am not confident on this book's success.

Nova #1 - I love Nova. I was a fan of Richard Ryder. I came to love Sam Alexander was well. The cover of this new book shows Sam in his Black Nova get-up with an adult dressed in classic Nova Corp attire. My question is... is that adult Sam's dad or Ryder back from the dead? (Really hoping for the latter.) This is one book I will be picking up.

Old Man Logan #1 - So what, is Old Man Logan now in the 616 Marvel universe? Do I care? Not really.

Sam Wilson, Captain America #1 - I'll be honest, the only time I ever gave a shit about Falcon was in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I don't really get why he is Captain America. Does he have the Super Soldier Serum? Otherwise he's Falcon with a shield. I'm still not really giving a shit.

Silk #1 - I know nothing about this character except she is somehow connected to the "Spider-verse" which I guess is a thing now. Is their also a Hawkeye-verse and a Paste-Pot Pete-verse?

Scarlet Witch #1 - I've never been a big Scarlet Witch fan, so... yeah.

Spider-Gwen #1 - She's got a following, but I've never read anything about the alternate reality Gwen that got powers. It's still part of the Spider-verse. I want to read a book about the Groot-verse!

Spider-Man #1 - I think it's cool that Miles Morales will be the main Spider-man after Secret Wars. He's a great character that allows Marvel to explore Spider-man in high school again without resorting to deals with Mephisto or de-aging Peter Parker. Best of all, Miles' creator, Brain Michael Bendis, is writing the book. I might check this book out... partly to know how Miles came to be in the 616 universe when Parker is still alive (unless he's the same from the Ultimate universe and just "displaced"). I'm not always on board with Bendis, but he does to Spider-man really well.

Spider-Man 2099 #1 - Way back in the day I actually had a subscription of Spider-man 2099 mailed to my house (the town I was raised in was without a comic shop of it's own). The book was only okay, primarily for a lack of great, memorable villains. I mean, Spider-man has the best rogues gallery of any hero in the Marvel universe, yet his counter-part from a hundred years in the future really didn't have many to speak of. I'm actually having a tough time remembering any beyond 2099 versions of Vulture and Venom. There was a cyborg bounty hunter whose name escapes me and some guy named Thanatos that looked like a Roman gladiator (no, his skin wasn't purple, I don't think he had anything to do with that Thanos). I think the new book takes place in the 616 universe, so I guess he can borrow current Spider-man villains. I doubt I'll read the book... I might flip through it out of curiosity. I like his costume at least.

Spider-Woman #1 - Never cared for Spider-woman. I'll pass.

Squadron Supreme #1 - I might check this one out. It could be interesting... or it could be a waste of time. It's a real toss-up.

Star-Lord #1 - Why is Star-Lord a woman? I thought I saw cover art that showed the character with a feminine body. But then I saw another where he was wearing his trademark mask while wearing an astronaut outfit and a "Quill" name badge... so I have no idea what is going on. I might flip through the book to see if they answer it, but I doubt I'll care enough to buy the comic.

The Totally Awesome Hulk #1 - Is the Hulk "totally awesome" now? He has been Incredible and Invincible and... red. Why is he awesome? I guess he may be someone other than Bruce Banner. After Red Hulk, Skaar, A-Bomb, She-Hulk and Red She-Hulk, that's just what we needed. As long as he's "totally awesome."

Web Warriors #1 - So it's another book based on the Spider-verse, but this time loosely affiliated with a cartoon? I don't get it.

Ultimates #1 - So it's a book with nothing to do with the Ultimate universe. It's just an Avengers book under a different name. It has Black Panther, the current Captain Marvel, the past Captain Marvel (Monica Rambeau) as Spectrum, and Blue Marvel... a character that a month ago I had never heard of. Might glance at it, but I am doubtful I'll buy it. 

Uncanny Avengers #1 - So this book is kind of odd for me. Initially, I loved the book. It fulfilled that craving I had for super teams fighting massive threats, first with the Red Skull, then against the Apocalypse Twins. Then, the book got weird. Havok, one of my favorite X-men, got disfigured... like on a Two-Face level. Wolverine lost his healing factor and would soon be dead, Steve Rogers was old, Rogue had absorbed Wonder Man... then after the Red Onslaught storyline, the entire line-up changed (save for Scarlet Witch and Rogue). I wanted to like the new line-up. It had Quicksilver, whom I haven't read in a book since X-Factor and there was Sabretooth, seeking redemption. However, the team focused all of it's time fighting the High Evolutionary... a character I've never really cared for. Plus, we were treated to the old Avengers soap opera from back in the day that led to my hating the book and team... the bizarre love triangle (obligatory New Order reference) of Scarlet Witch, Vision and Wonder Man. Ugh... so stupid. This new book once again has a new line-up adding Spider-man, Human Torch, some new chick named Synapse and Deadpool. I will give the book another shot.

Uncanny Inhumans #1 - I've never been huge on the Inhumans. I like them as part of the overall Marvel universe, but not for their own stories and drama. I doubt I will get this book.

Uncanny X-Men #1- This is a book that intrigues me. It has Magneto leading a team with Psylocke, Mystique, Fantomex and Sabretooth... with some other as yet to be revealed mutants. It's like a Brotherhood of Mutants team under the X-men banner. I will definitely check this one out.

Venom: Spaceknight #1 - I doubt this book will last. Despite the popularity of the character, a Venom-centric book has never been a big hit. I do like the reinvention of the character with host Flash Thompson. Instead of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, this is apparently continuing his space adventures since joining the Guardians of the Galaxy. But what's this "spacknight" thing? Is that like Rom the Spaceknight? It might be interesting, but I have my doubts about the book's future. I will give it a once-over however.

The Vision #1 - Remember how I said I was never a Scarlet Witch fan? The same applies to Vision. The two of them made an awful soap opera storyline for so long... I hated the Avengers for years because of them. 

So yeah. I will have some new Marvel comics to check out and will avoid DC like the plague.  Time will tell whether this will improve the Marvel Universe, or make it more convoluted, or have no effect at all. I'm just glad they haven't gone the New 52 route and rebooted everything. I think at that point I just would have been done with comics... except indies. Come to think of it, I should check out indie books more often. Valiant's been looking pretty good lately. 

Until next time, Stay Strange!

Top 10 Least Likely to be made Marvel Movies We Want to See!

Jonny Prophet has sent me a list of his Top 10 'Unlikely to be Made' Marvel Movies. I added my italicized thoughts to each one.

1. Joe Fix-It & Patch (it's like a mob movie with Hulk and Wolverine) (Probably not, unless Fox decides they no longer like money)

2. Squirrel-Girl (I would say, given the success of Guardians of the Galaxy, it is possible. I guess we will have to see how Deadpool does to get a feel for how oddball superhero movies can do. Though her origin would have to change as she's supposed to be a mutant.)

3. The Invaders (Need Namor for Invaders to work. Personally I would save it for when Disney inevitably reboots the Marvel movie-verse.)

4. Starfox (its like Entourage in space!)  (Yeah, doubtful. And who would be his entourage? Please tell me Pip the Troll is part of his entourage!)

5. The Midnight Sons (Actually, I think this one is very likely to happen. Marvel owns Dr. Strange, Ghost Rider and Blade so all the necessary parts are there. Plus, it's a mini-Avengers type of film.)

6. Giant Size Man-Thing (Don't we all want a Giant Size Man-Thing?)

7. Eternals (It's possible, but they are way too obscure. Seriously, I am having trouble naming any beyond Thanos, Starfox and Mentor!)

8. Doc Samson (You just want to see Phil Dunphy with green hair and super powers. So do I. We can maybe get in in an Agents of S.M.A.S.H. movie... as dumb as that sounds.)

9. Dazzler (set in the 1970's or in the Mojoverse) (I doubt it, since we just had our "70's" X-men movie. Though in the released photo of Jean Grey and Jubilee, notice that Jubilee is wearing a "Light Brigade" shirt! Interesting... I would persoanlly like a Chris Claremont themed X-men movie, true to the line-ups and story telling. I would love a Mojoverse movie too!)

10. Squadron Supreme (it would be like a darker Justice League movie) (Could actually happen, but they would have to follow the MAX version for both a good story and to try to distance itself from being a straight JL rip-off. although, by the looks of things, Zack Snyder is already making a "darker" Justice League movie. *cringe*)

As for me, my Top 8 unlikely Marvel Movies would look something like this:

1. Runaways - I've heard rumors that this could happen, even some casting rumors. However, my hopes are for a story faithful to Brian K. Vaughn's amazing run with no stupidity. That's probably the most unlikely part.

2. New Warriors - I'm talking the original six members of Marvel Boy (Justice), Speedball, Firestar, Namorita, Nova and ghetto Batman... er, I mean Night Thrasher. Could Marvel make this movie? I think so. They might have to change Namorita's name. The real probalem is that if they wanted to make a superhero team about a younger team, wouldn't they just make the currently more well known Young Avengers? Hell, it has the name Avengers in it... that's practically a done deal right there. Oh well. Young Avengers was good too... though much of the team's backstory would have to be changed (Hulkling has no Skrull genetics... Wiccan and Speed are made by Scarlet Witch as love children of her and Vision... a relationship that hasn't even happened yet... huh. Hey, whatever gets us closer to having Kang on film, right?)

3. Annihilation - More of a storyline than a super hero storyline, it involved virtually every inch of Marvel's space universe when a massive army from the Negative Zone (owned by Fox) led by Annihilus (also Fox) lays waste Xandar, home of the Novas, to various space empires like the Skrulls (again, Fox) before being stopped by the likes of Nova, Star-Lord, Silver Surfer (Fox), Super-Skrull (Fox) and Galactus (hey, what do you know? Owned by Fox). So unless they plan to do a half-assed version of the story, which would make me cry, I don't think they'll bother.

4. Exiles - Could it happen? Yes, through Fox. Should it happen? Absolutely not. Let's keep time out of our mutants, please. Unless the rest of the Marvel Universe can take part, it will make no sense and suck.

5. Agents of Atlas - It's an obscure team of people you've never heard of that originally operated in the 1950's... and it would rule! The team has all kinds of sci-fi influenced characters like M-11, an unstoppable robot, Gorilla Man, a gorilla man... duh, a young man from Venus and even an Atlantean woman. They would fight the forces of The Yellow Claw. It would never happen, but damn I would love it!

6. Avengers: 1950's - Sort of like Agents of Atlas, it was a non-cannon team of super beings brought together by Nick Fury (the white one from World War II) that included monster-hunter Ulysses Bloodstone, Kraven the Hunter, Silver Sable (the father of the woman from the Spider-man books) and most interestingly... Sabretooth! While Agents of Atlas could happen, this one can't unless they remove Sabretooth from the line-up... and at that point, why bother?

7. Brute Force - Animals with cybernetic attachments that can talk and fight crime against those that harm animals... COME ON! Hell, give us a Big Hero 6 style movie of them. I would watch!

8. Nextwave - Warren Ellis' deranged take on the super hero team would be awesome on film. Unfortunately, Marvel doesn't have rights to Tabitha Smith (she is a mutant so she is owned by Fox) but you could make a new character to fill her absence. Marvel owns the others... The Captain, Aaron Stack the Machine Man, Monica Rambeau, Elsa Bloodstone. I want to see them fight the forces of H.A.T.E. dammit! The movie would be on par with Guardians of the Galaxy as far as humor.

That's all I have for now... I might add more later.  Until next time, Stay Strange!

Hey! We Saw a Movie - Avengers: Age of Ultron

 Since I figure most people who were going to see Age of Ultron probably have by now... certainly the geek population at least, I won't really go into a plot summary. I'm also not going to worry about spoilers... so if you haven't seen the movie yet, don't read on or you will be BIG TIME SPOILED!

Bullet-point Observations

- Avengers: Age of Ultron was not as bad as I was worried it could have been. I probably had my expectations low enough and maybe Joss Whedon is talented enough as a writer and director to do an admirable job juggling an overstuffed script and movie... something most other writers would fail at. Compared to other superhero films that were too full of characters and plot points, like X-men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Spider-man 3 and Amazing Spider-man 2, Avengers: Age of Ultron does a better job than any of them. That said, there was still too much going on and too many characters crammed into the film.

- I don't blame Joss Whedon for how overstuffed the film was. Marvel was clearly trying to make a bunch of new Avengers to take some of the weight off of their bigger stars whose contracts are running out soon as well as advance the plot for the Infinity War movies. Unfortunately, that did confirm what I was worried about in that Age of Ultron was more of a stepping stone at times than it's own entity. I will give Whedon some credit in that he tried to give a good chunk of screen time to each character, which could not have been easy.

- Note to Marvel Films: STOP KILLING OFF YOUR VILLAINS! Iron Monger, Whiplash, Red Skull (as far as we know), whoever the hell Guy Pearce was supposed to be, Malekith, Kurse, Ronan the Accuser, Baron Strucker and Ultron! You know, some of these guys could be useful in the future... and then there's that whole adage about superheroes not killing (though to be fair only four of those deaths were inflicted by good guys... maybe Iron Monger too... that's debatable.)

Why the hell was Baron Strucker even in the film? He did nothing and brought nothing to the table. The end of Captain America: Winter Soldier made him seem like big shit and he did nothing at all... then was killed off-screen. I mean, Baron Strucker was never a top-tier villain, but he was a solid second tier at times. Hell, the guy in charge of Hydra has to be of some worth, right?

- Why didn't Ultron use the vibranium to make himself an updated body. Yes, I know that Vision had a hybrid of the Korean scientist's artificial flesh and vibranium, but that seemed more like a special experimental project he was doing. Why didn't he right away make an updated form with a steel and vibranium alloy to ensure his success should anything go wrong. That's the thing here, Ultron is supposed to be Marvel's analog to "the singularity" where artificial intelligence surpasses human intelligence and more or less takes over the world. Ultron should have had multiple plans in place with contingencies in place. Yes, I know the Avengers needed to win in the end, but don't try to make a realistic interpretation of AI run amok and skimp on the reality of it.

- Ultron wasn't quite right. I know Ultron from the comics, he is a cold, relentless machine bent on killing human life. This Ultron was a smooth talking, suave, gentlemanly villain... a witty manipulator. I get that part of his personality was based on Tony Stark's and therefore he would be a suave smart-ass, but he seemed less like Ultron and more like a robotic Lex Luthor!

- I want to be the first to predict it: Ultron will turn out to be a better Lex Luthor than Jesse Eisenberg!

- Could Ultron's plan have been anymore outlandish, random and convoluted? He wants to bring about peace by destroying mankind... sort of. He wants to cause a cataclysm that will wipe out most of humankind and force evolution... except that's not how it works. Evidence suggests that the dinosaurs were not wiped out immediately by the KT impact, but gradually over a few thousand years. If Ultron's logic was that peace can be attained by machines that are programmed to live harmoniously, I could buy that, but his plan was about forcing evolution... which would never bring about peace. Ask the Cro-Magnons who were most likely killed off by the Neanderthals, who were most likely killed off by Homo Sapiens. Strangely, Ultron's goal was more in line with something Apocalypse might do in creating a condition where only the strongest can survive.

- And in the middle of all that, Ultron had some weird fixation on making a robotic fleshed upgrade to himself that eventually became Vision... that whole thing felt forced into the script for the sole purpose of creating Vision and not a natural plotline. Many things felt forced in Age of Ultron.

- BIG TIME SPOILER - I am still a little surprised that they killed Quicksilver. I know why he was killed... Joss Whedon loves consequences for characters. I once saw a Q & A with him where he said (*and I'm paraphrasing because this was about ten years ago*) "In war, people die, that's what happens. It gives gravity to the situation. It can't just be clones versus robots." Regardless, Quicksilver was a major Avenger character that now, barring some unforeseen resurrection by ways of his magic sister or a certain gem covered glove, we will never have the luxury of watching develop.

- That being said, if one had to die, Scarlet Witch was always the bigger Avenger character anyway. Pietro wasn't always the best team player and he often would run off (pun possibly intended) to do other wacky things like join X-Factor or The Knights of Wundagore. Besides, we need the awkwardness of Scarlet Witch and Vision hooking up.

- In speaking of awkward, I guess this settles the debate about whether the movie versions of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch's will have the "extremely close" relationship from Ultimates.

- So in the debate of which Quicksilver was better, I think it goes to Evan Peters from Days of Future Past. His was fun and more memorable with arguably the best sequence in the film. Aaron Johnson's was probably truer to the Pietro Maximoff of the comics, a brooding cocky prick that grows on you, but having to share time in a massive ensemble film (that did not have the luxury of half the cast set decades into the future to make the film seem less crowded) and given that he died without being little more than a fun side character, the Quicksilver of Age of Ultron just wasn't as good. Plus, there was that fake accent.

- If Ultron is a super smart AI computer, then he would have had to know that an impact of the level that he was creating (with the chunk of Sokovia acting as a makeshift meteorite with a vibranium core) would have created a massibe electro-magnetic pulse that would have fried every version of himself in the vicinity. He would have certainly had to have had a back-up of himself somewhere else to ensure his survival... which is exactly what the comic book version does... which is why he is pretty much impossible to kill. Meaning... Ultron could probably return in a future film... though I doubt he will. There are too many villains and storylines and not that many movies for them to appear.

- I'm hoping the next Avengers films (Infinity War parts 1 & 2) will not follow this same formula of a single big villain with a generic army that threatens the Earth. In that way, Avengers 2 felt a lot like the first one... just replace aliens with robots. I would have preferred a villain team like The Masters of Evil. That way, instead of bland generic minions that we all know pose no threat to our heroes, the Avengers can face named villains with unique powers.

- I was really disappointed with the mid-credits scene. Once again we see Thanos and he has a gem-less gauntlet. Whoopee. And where the hell was my shwarma scene? I sat through the entire end credits for NOTHING! Captain America: Winter Soldier had a shwarma scene... so did Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World and Guardians of the Galaxy! In fact, most of the Marvel films have had shwarma scenes. What the hell Avengers 2?!?!

Final Thoughts: In the end, Avengers: Age of Ultron was entertaining enough to watch, but isn't anything near as special as the hype would have you believe. I'll put it this way... Avengers was something special. It was a culmination of several movies with big actors in one big super superhero movie that told it's own self-contained story with only subtle hints toward future films. Avengers: Age of Ultron was just a popcorn flick.

Toaster's Ramblings - Avengers: Age of Anxiety!

We are now less than 2 months from what is arguably the second most anticipated film of the year (some might debate that with Star Wars Episode 7). I am excited of course. I am a total geek, have seen every Marvel movie is theaters to date (note that by this I mean Marvel Studios, I skipped Elektra because it looked terrible). So there is that anxious 'waiting for Christmas' type of feeling waiting for May 1st.

That said, I am worried about Age of Ultron. I touched upon this briefly a couple of months ago, but I thought I would go into it a bit more. I am afraid there will be too much going on and too little time to do it in. Plus it seems to build into the "phase 3" of the Marvel movie-verse master plan. That doesn't sound too bad right there, but when you expand the details, the task seems pretty daunting.

First, you have a ton of new characters to introduce. So far it seems we have Baron Strucker, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Ulysses Klaw (the character Andy Serkis is rumored to be playing), Vision, some random mystery characters from the trailers (the disrobing woman in the caand of course Ultron. Now not every character here needs much of a time investment. I figure Klaw will be a brief cameo. Strucker will likely get the Batroc treatment from Captain America: The Winter Soldier, as in he's a big deal for the first fifteen minutes of the film. However, the rest need some real time to explain and develop. Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch and Vision will probably all become prominent Avengers (based on the comics). Vision will need an entire origin story along with Ultron!

Second, let's get into Ultron for a bit. Ultron is completely new to the film universe. In the first Avengers movie, Loki already had been introduced in Thor and established as a bad guy. This allowed less time to be spent on explaining him and more on the formation of the Avengers team. This luxury is not afforded to Ultron. We not only have to establish who he is but where he comes from and why he's a threat worthy of an entire team on heroes. Also, consider this... in the first Avengers movie, Joss Whedon really nailed the Loki character. It established him as a true super villain, something that Marvel films had been and continue to lack. In order for Ultron not to seem like a flash in the pan baddie (like Whiplash, Red Skull, Malekith or Ronan), we need some real time invested into him, with major scenes and huge moments that make him memorable.

Third, you still have six established Avengers team to spend time with. Obviously, Iron Man will get his spotlight in the overall story, but Captain America and Thor have to have their screen time. Plus, you still have Hulk, Black Widow and Hawkeye, who received the weakest amount of screen time in the first Avengers and... aside from a cameo in the first Thor movie, has never been in any other film. So, not only do you have the six established heroes slugging it out for screen time, but from the trailer we also see Iron Patriot, Agent Hill and Nick Fury all show up at some point. So that's at least nine established characters returning for the sequel and six new ones!

Can you see what makes me a little weary? Put it this way, both Spider-man 3 and the Amazing Spider-man 2 were criticized with being too cluttered with old and new characters that sacrificed the overall story. Spider-man 3 only had three new characters (Sandman, Venom and Gwen Stacy) to add to the established Spider-man, Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn (not including cameos from Aunt May and J Jonah Jameson). Excluding cameos, Amazing Spider-man 2 had to add Electro, Rhino, Norman Osborn and Green Goblin to the story that already had Spider-man, Gwen Stacy, Peter's dad and Aunt May.

Fourth, Age of Ultron seems to be trying very hard to create new movie franchises during it's run time. If the rumors are to be believed, many new characters might be featured as cameos to help try to fill out the Marvel Films universe before Civil War and to promote new franchises like Black Panther, Captain Marvel and Dr. Strange. The fatal flaw of Amazing Spider-man 2 was the fact that Sony was clearly more interested in pushing their Spider-man movie-verse agenda than actually telling a compelling and interesting story. There are ways to insert new characters in a brief manner that will pique the audience's interest. The trick is to use fine brush strokes. You can't be forceful, or else it stops being 'fan service' and just becomes obvious desperation. If Avengers 2 becomes too crowded and jumbled with introducing new characters, cameo or otherwise, it will suffer the same fate as Amazing Spider-man 2.

Fifth, Avengers 2 is clearly a transitional sequel. By this, I mean that the movie is being used to build the next part of the story. Usually, transitional sequels tend to... not be very good. Look at Matrix: Reloaded. Now, quickly look away lest your eyes burn! While the first Matrix film was a stand-alone story, Reloaded was a mess, an obvious cash grab with a plot that I still don't completely understand. Now compare that to Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. 'Empire' was a transitional sequel, but an excellent one that focused on character development and told a compelling story. Yes, it paved the way for Return of the Jedi, but unlike Reloaded, it left it's mark... more memorably that 'Jedi' did to be honest.

The first Avengers was a stand-alone film. It had it's own self-contained story that felt like a true culmination of all of the preceding films into a massive end-all-be-all over-the-top climactic battle. Avengers 2 is clearly building toward Captain America: Civil War, which worryingly has been building more hype as of late than Age of Ultron, a film that hasn't even been released yet!

To be fair, I have a lot of faith in Joss Whedon. Not only does his television biography speak for itself, but he made the first Avengers work on a huge level, making it the first superhero super-film. I hope that he has crafted a good story that gives the proper attention to the veteran Avengers while helping establish Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Vision and Ultron in the process. I hope the any other character cameos are kept reasonable and brief. Based on the trailers, it seems like Age of Ultron has that Empire Strikes Back feel to it... characters forced to face their shortcomings, a splintering of the group and high prices to pay for fighting the 'good fight.' Such themes have made for some of the greatest sequels of all time, such as the previously referenced Episode V, Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, The Dark Knight and even Godfather II (though that last one wasn't exactly about fighting for the angels).

Hopefully Age of Ultron will be Joss Whedon's 'The Empire Strikes Back' and not another disappointing ill-conceived cash-grab sequel.

Avengers 2: The Age of Ultron stills... redux

Toaster's Ramblings - Amazing Spider-Man 2 AKA the feature length trailer for The Sinister Six movie

So I have to level with you. This started out as a review of Amazing Spider-man 2, but it quickly devolved into a rambling session about Sony's plans for an expanded Spider-Man movie universe and how stupid the whole concept really is. I'm keeping spoilers to a minimum, but the review aspect of this entry gets a little murky at times. So... bear with me.

Like with a lot of flawed movies I watch, I didn't hate Amazing Spider-Man 2. However, as I watched that on-screen spectacle, there were these nagging thoughts that kept gnawing at me. Thoughts about how cartoonish Electro's origin was, how little time was being allotted to Harry Osborn and his transformation into Green Goblin, why this rebooted franchise is so obsessed with making Peter Parker's origin some kind of conspiracy theory and how at times Amazing Spider-Man 2 felt more like a feature length trailer for The Sinister Six.

I just want to say this right now on the oft chance that anyone from Hollywood is reading...

THE GOAL OF CREATING SEQUELS SHOULD NEVER TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER GOOD STORY-TELLING!

As I left the theater, those same nagging thoughts forced me to deconstruct what I just saw... and what I had just seen was an absolute mess that followed in the tragic footsteps of  X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Instead of giving us the best possible story they could, which in turn could have created new spin-off possibilities for the characters involved, we were treated to an overstuffed, flash over substance exhibition akin to throwing wet noodles at a wall to see what sticks... all to the tune hundreds of millions of dollars.

I get what's going on. Sony, like Warner Brothers and to a lesser extent Fox, has seen the incredible payload that Disney brought in from The Avengers and are salivating at the opportunity to create their own "movie universes" from the characters they hold film rights to. The problem is, Sony only has the Spider-man universe, which is actually a pretty small universe when you get right down to it. Warner Brothers, to their benefit, has film rights to all of the DC characters (though rather than take their time like Marvel Studios did, they prefer to just rush a Justice League movie right along). Fox, while only having rights to the Marvel mutants side of things, actually has an impressive amount of characters at their disposal. Given the nature of the X-men Universe, they can do tons of mutant films while never feeling the loss of web-slingers or Asgardians. But Sony doesn't have a big universe to work with.

Let's stop and think about what Sony gets with Spider-man. Obviously they get the Web-Head and all of his villains. They gets Catwoman Black Cat. They also get Venom and more than likely the other symbiotic characters like Carnage and maybe even Toxin. But other characters often associated with Spider-Man's world, like Daredevil, Punisher, Nova and pretty much all of his teammates from the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon are owned by Disney. So where is this super team going to come from? Oddly, Sony thinks the answer is The Sinister Six, a group of Spider-Man's villains who team up to take on the Web-slinger... not exactly what I picture as an answer to The Avengers and The Justice League.

Seriously, they want to make a movie where the bad guys are the protagonists. This could be a cool idea (i.e. the graphic novel of Wanted), except we've been set up to root against them already in previous Spidey flicks. Now if The Sinister Six were a penultimate Spider-Man movie where he has to fight them, and maybe get help from a few other characters (Black Cat? Venom?) it would be fine. However, every indication I have seen or read says that the movie will be about the villains, not Spider-Man. Hell, he might not even be in the movie! So... who do I root for? Who do they fight... other Spider-Man villains?

On a side note, I wonder how far the licensing to the Spider-Man film rights goes. It could be possible for Spidey to form an extremely lesser known team called The Outlaws made up of D-List Marvel characters such as Silver Sable, The Prowler and Rocket Racer. Not exactly The Avengers, but it would at least make more sense than The Sinister Six.

So getting back to Amazing Spider-Man 2, here are my overall thoughts. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were both great. I still think Garfield is the best Peter Parker/Spider-Man ever. I think Dane DeHaan made for a better Harry Osborn than James Franco did. This new brooding, paranoid and angry Harry Osborn truly seemed to be the outcome of a lifetime of bad parenting and neglect. Unfortunately, the filmmakers tried to do in a third of a movie what the previous films did over the course of a trilogy in making him the Green Goblin. Not to mention, Franco's Osborn had a far better reason for hating Spider-Man in believing the Wall-Crawler responsible for his father's death. DeHaan's Osborn's bratty reasoning, that Spider-Man refused to give him a sample of his blood, is weak sauce.

The effects for Electro were cool, coupled with Junkie XL's Dub Step soundtrack to his scenes. However, his character was stupid. Somebody pointed out that Max Dillon's origin is strikingly similar to The Riddler's from Batman Forever... a lonely man barely holding onto his sanity becomes the number one fan of a super hero until an accident makes him crazy and hell-bent on destroying the hero he once adored. But somehow they managed to make Electro more cartoony than Jim Carrey's Riddler, and considering that movie was from Joel Schumacher, that's saying something! Seriously, Max Dillon wanted to kill Spider-Man because the Web-Head forgot Max's name? At that point, couldn't Max Dillon have just been a sociopath, like evil for the sake of being evil? I could have at least bought that.

I also think it was weird how easily and quickly both Max Dillon and Harry Osborn took to brutally murdering people. It wasn't even a hard decision, nor was there a moment of regret. No other Spidey villain from the movies were straight up murderers on that level. The Lizard was a brutal monster, but Dr. Conners was no murderer himself and regretted the actions of his reptilian Mr. Hyde. In the previous trilogy, Green Goblin was an insane split personality that convinced Norman Osborn to kill. Dr. Octopus was warped by the AI of his tentacles, but still didn't set out to murder people unless only attempted to if they got in his way. Sandman was a repentant one-time killer (of Uncle Ben... ugh, I still hate that). Venom was a killer alien parasite that fed off of its host's negative thoughts, but I don't remember Eddie Brock actually killing anyone. I also don't think James Franco's Harry killed anyone. But in this movie, the meek Max Dillon immediately takes to killing people with no remorse. DeHaan's Harry Osborn is willing to kill (sending Electro to do that) to get what he wants without any development of his character to show us his capability to go that far. Yes, I know he was supposed to be dying, but it was from a disease that clearly doesn't kill you for decades! I don't see survival desperation being a sound reason for him to be willing to kill.

I also want to point out that the Rhino suit is stupid. I wanted to like it, but it's just impractical. Why would anyone make an armored combat suit that awkwardly runs on all fours? It looks terrible, its clunky and I don't see any corporation pouring money into it. An Iron Man suit? Hell yeah! But a weird, oversized rhinoceros where the occupant faces stomach down, hoping for the best while the suit charges at an opponent head-on? No thanks.

So, in closing, Amazing Spider-Man 2 was far more concerned with pumping out sequels and spin-offs than giving us a good movie with well developed characters. Like I said, I didn't hate the movie. It was entertaining enough to watch, had some cool fight sequences and some great banter from Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man. Where the franchise goes from here seems to be a Sinister Six movie and more than likely a third Spider-Man movie that will probably makes the same mistakes of the last Spider-Man 3 by forcing along the "venom" saga within a muddled plot full of other villains and Mary Jane Watson, seeing as how they cut her from this past movie due to time constraints. I had high hopes after the surprisingly good Amazing Spider-Man, but now it's clear that Sony is banking on the instant marketability of the character rather than making the best product they can.

You know, Batman is an instantly marketable character, but Chris Nolan didn't settle for 'good enough.' Instead he and Warner Brothers created The Dark Knight, an ingenius film... the only comic book adaptation I have ever seen receive four star reviews. Oh, and word of mouth kept that movie in theaters for months and placed it in the Top 5 highest grossing films of all time.

Just food for thought, Sony.