Toaster's Ramblings - The Convergance of the Secret Wars (or How Marvel and DC Had the Same Summer Event)

It seems that Marvel and DC both have pretty much run the same storyline event for the summer. Both Secret Wars and Convergence deal with time and reality getting smashed together into a jumbled mess of different characters from different worlds, where they all fight and eventually everything gets (sort of but not really) rebooted. I do find it amusing that DC has had the New 52 around less than five years and already needs to do a "soft" reboot. (A soft reboot, by the way, is when some parts of a universe get a fresh start while others continue on as normal.) Now maybe it was just a coincidence that both comic companies ran similar events, but I doubt it. Marvel has apparently been working on Secret Wars for five years, while reviews suggest that Convergence felt rushed in many ways. DC probably got wind of what Marvel was planning and set out to do their own version and release it a few months early (Convergence started this past Spring and is already over. Secret Wars is currently ongoing.)

Honestly, I haven't been following either event. Five dollars an issue for Secret Wars is too much, I would rather wait for a trade edition. As for DC, I'm pretty much done with them. Not only have I grown to hate the New 52, but DC decided to implement a new way of placing advertising into their comic books...

DC You? More like DC... You Suck!

Yeah, so as long as that ridiculous shit is going on, I'm out. If Marvel does it too, I'll be done with them as well. I don't mind a page add, or even a two-page add, but I will not share comic book art and storyline on the same page as an advertisement. That's bullshit. Not only does it take you out of the story, but it is disrespectful to the very medium of comic book art. Imagine if instead of specific commercial breaks on television, commercials randomly play in the middle of your show. Let's say you're watching CW's Arrow and Ollie is about to fight Deathstroke and just as the first punch is thrown, we cut to a Clearasil commercial, then go back to the punch in mid-swing. It would kind of piss you off, now wouldn't it? Well, split-page ads piss me off just the same way.

I don't really know what the post-Convergence DC universe looks like, but the Marvel one is interesting. First of all, much of the pre-Secret Wars developments remain intact. Falcon is still the new Captain America and Steve Rogers is still old. Thor is still a woman (Jane Foster). Wolverine is still dead. The Fantastic Four, as a team, is also dead with Human Torch hanging out with the Inhumans and Thing the new pilot for the Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not really sure where Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman will end up, though the latter was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. before the event.

The list of the post-Secret Wars title launches has been released and while some really don't interest me at all, others are quite intriguing. Here are my thoughts on the upcoming books:

A-Force #1 - AKA the "female Avengers." Seems a little on the nose to me. "You want more gender diversity? Have an entire book of woman Avengers!" It almost borderlines on gimmicky to me. I will say that there seem to be far more women Avengers than their were in the 90's when most seemed to be female versions of popular male heroes (She-Hulk, Spider-woman), but that may just be due to the fact that in the last 10 years, EVERYONE seems to be an Avenger. I also wonder, who will a team of female Avengers fight? Will they face female villains? How many female villains does Marvel have that are an Avengers level threat? I might thumb through the first issue to see what this book is like, but I don't expect much.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - I don't watch the show, why would I read the comic?

All-New All-Different Avengers #1 - I might actually get a subscription to this one. I like the younger line-up of Nova (Sam Alexander), Ms. Marvel and Spider-man (Miles Morales) contrasted with veterans like "Falcon America," Jane Foster Thor, Iron Man and Vision. It has a Young Justice vibe to it.

All-New Wolverine #1 - While it's interesting that X-23 is the new Wolverine, I doubt I will buy the book.

All-New X-Men #1-  So are they still the original X-men from the 60's (or whenever they're supposed to come from, something tells me the present Cyclops isn't in his mid-50's)? I don't know. I didn't read the book before and I'm pretty sure I won't read it now. It seems like the novelty of young versions running around with their older counterparts would have worn off by now.

Amazing Spider-Man #1 - I'm guessing this is the Peter Parker Spider-man since Miles Morales has the non-adjective Spider-man book. I don't know... I might look at it. Maybe it will be unique. I doubt I will buy it, though.

Angela: Asgard’s Assassin #1 - I liked when Angela was time-displaced and hung out with the Guardians of the Galaxy, having a friendly rivalry with Gamora. Then for some reason it was revealed she was Asgardian... which is weird. I guess Marvel wanted to start over with her back-story, but I would have preferred that she is the same character from Spawn that now is stuck in the 616 universe... and occasionally alludes to her former life. I'm just not sure I care about her as Asgard's assassin... the Asgardians already have Sif and the Jane Foster Thor... I might flip through the book, but I doubt I will be impressed.

Ant-Man #1 - Never been much of an Ant-man fan. The whole shrinking thing never seemed that useful unless you are evil (like Atomica in Forever Evil). Then you can scramble people's brains or enter their body and grow to normal size so your victim pops like a balloon. But commanding an army of ants? Um... I guess you could get them to bring you all the loose change on the ground for miles around. I guess there are actual uses in espionage, but I never really cared. I doubt I will pick up this book.

Captain Marvel #1 - I'm glad that Carol Danvers is getting her due as Marvel's elite super heroine. However, I haven't read any of her books so far. Not sure if I will start here, either.

Carnage #1 - I don't get the point of this one. Is Carnage still a serial killing monster or are they trying to make him a hero now? Either way, I'm not sure it will work as an ongoing series.

Contest of Champions #1 - Place your bets now about how long this book will last! If the writer's are smart, there will be an end point, like with Avengers Arena. This is not a premise that will last long.

Daredevil #1 - I might flip through this book. I loved the Netflix series (who didn't?) and am curious if Marvel will try to make the comic more like the show. I think Daredevil is in serious need of new villains, good new villains. Most of his villains are lame. They can't just keep going back to Kingpin and Bullseye. Like I said, I will give it a once over, but I'm not expecting much.

Deadpool #1 - I like Deadpool and as such will probably get this book. The writers, however, have big shoes to fill. The previous volume's writing team, including comedian Brian Posehn, made a really good run full of hilarity, some genius moments (the various "lost" throwback issues of Daredevil from decades past), and a great supporting crew including ghost Ben Franklin.

Doctor Strange #1 - Maybe the film will give me new appreciation for the Sorceror Supreme, but it won't be in time for me to start reading this book.

Drax #1 - I will check this book out for one reason... former WWE star CM Punk is co-writing. It doesn't guarantee that the book will be any good, but like with any celebrity writer, it's worth a look.

Extraordinary X-Men #1 - Good news... in addition to being Uncanny, All-New, All-Different, Extreme and Astonishing, the X-men are also Extraordinary. It has an interesting line-up with Colossus, Iceman, Jean Grey (from the past), Nightcrawler (whom I thought was dead), Magik, Storm and Old Man Logan... because Marvel is really serious about Wolverine staying dead. Will Jean Grey discuss with the Iceman of the present about how his past version is gay? Only time will tell. I might glance at this book, but I'm not expecting anything "extraordinary." (see what I did there? I'm clever.)

Guardians of the Galaxy #1 - I was reading the previous run and loved the Abnett/Lanning run that has inspired a new age for Marvel's space universe and renewed love for many forgotten characters. (Ten years ago, did you think you would see a movie starring Star-Lord? Did you even know who the hell Star-Lord was? My point exactly.) Brian Michael Bendis is still writing this new volume, but I guess now Rocket Raccoon is the leader and Thing is the new pilot. And Star-Lord is a woman. I'm game, why not?

Hawkeye #1 - The only time I ever read a Hawkeye book was when he led The Thunderbolts way back when. I'm okay with leaving it that way. If I need my bow and arrow fix, CW's got me covered.

Howard the Duck #1 - Um... no.

Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - This one will be among the first wave of cancellations, mark my words. Unless they go back in time to fight Nazis with the real Howling Commandos... that I would check out.

Illuminati #1 - What is the purpose of a book about the elitist secret club of Marvel? Do they fight as a team? Are they a team? Do I care? I can answer one of those questions.

Invincible Iron Man #1 - I might glance at this book. Here's the thing, I love the movie version of Tony Stark, because Robert Downey Jr. gives the character a great deal of wit and fast comedic timing, because if not for those, let's be honest, we would all think Tony Stark was a self-righteous prick. Well, the Tony Stark of the comics, even after the debut of the first Iron Man movie, is a self-righteous prick. However, I did enjoy Tony Stark during his brief tenure with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Why? Because Brian Michael Bendis writes Tony as witty and fun. So, since he's writing this book, I will give it a look.

Karnak #1 - The only reason I'm going to check out this book is because Warren Ellis is the writer. I expect I'm not the only one who shares that sentiment.

The Mighty Thor #1 - Is this still Jane Foster Thor? That's cool. I didn't read her book before Secret Wars, why mess with success?

Ms. Marvel #1 - I missed the boat on this book. I've heard great things and will probably check out trades of the previous volume. As such, I might thumb through this new volume.

New Avengers #1 - Not sure why they didn't just call this A.I.M.: Avengers Idea Mechanics. This line-up is crazy. The team is led by Sunspot and features Wiccan, Hulkling, Squirrel-girl, Hawkeye, Power Man, White Tiger and Songbird. I may have to check this book out based on the line-up alone. However, I am not confident on this book's success.

Nova #1 - I love Nova. I was a fan of Richard Ryder. I came to love Sam Alexander was well. The cover of this new book shows Sam in his Black Nova get-up with an adult dressed in classic Nova Corp attire. My question is... is that adult Sam's dad or Ryder back from the dead? (Really hoping for the latter.) This is one book I will be picking up.

Old Man Logan #1 - So what, is Old Man Logan now in the 616 Marvel universe? Do I care? Not really.

Sam Wilson, Captain America #1 - I'll be honest, the only time I ever gave a shit about Falcon was in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I don't really get why he is Captain America. Does he have the Super Soldier Serum? Otherwise he's Falcon with a shield. I'm still not really giving a shit.

Silk #1 - I know nothing about this character except she is somehow connected to the "Spider-verse" which I guess is a thing now. Is their also a Hawkeye-verse and a Paste-Pot Pete-verse?

Scarlet Witch #1 - I've never been a big Scarlet Witch fan, so... yeah.

Spider-Gwen #1 - She's got a following, but I've never read anything about the alternate reality Gwen that got powers. It's still part of the Spider-verse. I want to read a book about the Groot-verse!

Spider-Man #1 - I think it's cool that Miles Morales will be the main Spider-man after Secret Wars. He's a great character that allows Marvel to explore Spider-man in high school again without resorting to deals with Mephisto or de-aging Peter Parker. Best of all, Miles' creator, Brain Michael Bendis, is writing the book. I might check this book out... partly to know how Miles came to be in the 616 universe when Parker is still alive (unless he's the same from the Ultimate universe and just "displaced"). I'm not always on board with Bendis, but he does to Spider-man really well.

Spider-Man 2099 #1 - Way back in the day I actually had a subscription of Spider-man 2099 mailed to my house (the town I was raised in was without a comic shop of it's own). The book was only okay, primarily for a lack of great, memorable villains. I mean, Spider-man has the best rogues gallery of any hero in the Marvel universe, yet his counter-part from a hundred years in the future really didn't have many to speak of. I'm actually having a tough time remembering any beyond 2099 versions of Vulture and Venom. There was a cyborg bounty hunter whose name escapes me and some guy named Thanatos that looked like a Roman gladiator (no, his skin wasn't purple, I don't think he had anything to do with that Thanos). I think the new book takes place in the 616 universe, so I guess he can borrow current Spider-man villains. I doubt I'll read the book... I might flip through it out of curiosity. I like his costume at least.

Spider-Woman #1 - Never cared for Spider-woman. I'll pass.

Squadron Supreme #1 - I might check this one out. It could be interesting... or it could be a waste of time. It's a real toss-up.

Star-Lord #1 - Why is Star-Lord a woman? I thought I saw cover art that showed the character with a feminine body. But then I saw another where he was wearing his trademark mask while wearing an astronaut outfit and a "Quill" name badge... so I have no idea what is going on. I might flip through the book to see if they answer it, but I doubt I'll care enough to buy the comic.

The Totally Awesome Hulk #1 - Is the Hulk "totally awesome" now? He has been Incredible and Invincible and... red. Why is he awesome? I guess he may be someone other than Bruce Banner. After Red Hulk, Skaar, A-Bomb, She-Hulk and Red She-Hulk, that's just what we needed. As long as he's "totally awesome."

Web Warriors #1 - So it's another book based on the Spider-verse, but this time loosely affiliated with a cartoon? I don't get it.

Ultimates #1 - So it's a book with nothing to do with the Ultimate universe. It's just an Avengers book under a different name. It has Black Panther, the current Captain Marvel, the past Captain Marvel (Monica Rambeau) as Spectrum, and Blue Marvel... a character that a month ago I had never heard of. Might glance at it, but I am doubtful I'll buy it. 

Uncanny Avengers #1 - So this book is kind of odd for me. Initially, I loved the book. It fulfilled that craving I had for super teams fighting massive threats, first with the Red Skull, then against the Apocalypse Twins. Then, the book got weird. Havok, one of my favorite X-men, got disfigured... like on a Two-Face level. Wolverine lost his healing factor and would soon be dead, Steve Rogers was old, Rogue had absorbed Wonder Man... then after the Red Onslaught storyline, the entire line-up changed (save for Scarlet Witch and Rogue). I wanted to like the new line-up. It had Quicksilver, whom I haven't read in a book since X-Factor and there was Sabretooth, seeking redemption. However, the team focused all of it's time fighting the High Evolutionary... a character I've never really cared for. Plus, we were treated to the old Avengers soap opera from back in the day that led to my hating the book and team... the bizarre love triangle (obligatory New Order reference) of Scarlet Witch, Vision and Wonder Man. Ugh... so stupid. This new book once again has a new line-up adding Spider-man, Human Torch, some new chick named Synapse and Deadpool. I will give the book another shot.

Uncanny Inhumans #1 - I've never been huge on the Inhumans. I like them as part of the overall Marvel universe, but not for their own stories and drama. I doubt I will get this book.

Uncanny X-Men #1- This is a book that intrigues me. It has Magneto leading a team with Psylocke, Mystique, Fantomex and Sabretooth... with some other as yet to be revealed mutants. It's like a Brotherhood of Mutants team under the X-men banner. I will definitely check this one out.

Venom: Spaceknight #1 - I doubt this book will last. Despite the popularity of the character, a Venom-centric book has never been a big hit. I do like the reinvention of the character with host Flash Thompson. Instead of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, this is apparently continuing his space adventures since joining the Guardians of the Galaxy. But what's this "spacknight" thing? Is that like Rom the Spaceknight? It might be interesting, but I have my doubts about the book's future. I will give it a once-over however.

The Vision #1 - Remember how I said I was never a Scarlet Witch fan? The same applies to Vision. The two of them made an awful soap opera storyline for so long... I hated the Avengers for years because of them. 

So yeah. I will have some new Marvel comics to check out and will avoid DC like the plague.  Time will tell whether this will improve the Marvel Universe, or make it more convoluted, or have no effect at all. I'm just glad they haven't gone the New 52 route and rebooted everything. I think at that point I just would have been done with comics... except indies. Come to think of it, I should check out indie books more often. Valiant's been looking pretty good lately. 

Until next time, Stay Strange!

Hey! We Saw a Movie - Avengers: Age of Ultron

 Since I figure most people who were going to see Age of Ultron probably have by now... certainly the geek population at least, I won't really go into a plot summary. I'm also not going to worry about spoilers... so if you haven't seen the movie yet, don't read on or you will be BIG TIME SPOILED!

Bullet-point Observations

- Avengers: Age of Ultron was not as bad as I was worried it could have been. I probably had my expectations low enough and maybe Joss Whedon is talented enough as a writer and director to do an admirable job juggling an overstuffed script and movie... something most other writers would fail at. Compared to other superhero films that were too full of characters and plot points, like X-men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Spider-man 3 and Amazing Spider-man 2, Avengers: Age of Ultron does a better job than any of them. That said, there was still too much going on and too many characters crammed into the film.

- I don't blame Joss Whedon for how overstuffed the film was. Marvel was clearly trying to make a bunch of new Avengers to take some of the weight off of their bigger stars whose contracts are running out soon as well as advance the plot for the Infinity War movies. Unfortunately, that did confirm what I was worried about in that Age of Ultron was more of a stepping stone at times than it's own entity. I will give Whedon some credit in that he tried to give a good chunk of screen time to each character, which could not have been easy.

- Note to Marvel Films: STOP KILLING OFF YOUR VILLAINS! Iron Monger, Whiplash, Red Skull (as far as we know), whoever the hell Guy Pearce was supposed to be, Malekith, Kurse, Ronan the Accuser, Baron Strucker and Ultron! You know, some of these guys could be useful in the future... and then there's that whole adage about superheroes not killing (though to be fair only four of those deaths were inflicted by good guys... maybe Iron Monger too... that's debatable.)

Why the hell was Baron Strucker even in the film? He did nothing and brought nothing to the table. The end of Captain America: Winter Soldier made him seem like big shit and he did nothing at all... then was killed off-screen. I mean, Baron Strucker was never a top-tier villain, but he was a solid second tier at times. Hell, the guy in charge of Hydra has to be of some worth, right?

- Why didn't Ultron use the vibranium to make himself an updated body. Yes, I know that Vision had a hybrid of the Korean scientist's artificial flesh and vibranium, but that seemed more like a special experimental project he was doing. Why didn't he right away make an updated form with a steel and vibranium alloy to ensure his success should anything go wrong. That's the thing here, Ultron is supposed to be Marvel's analog to "the singularity" where artificial intelligence surpasses human intelligence and more or less takes over the world. Ultron should have had multiple plans in place with contingencies in place. Yes, I know the Avengers needed to win in the end, but don't try to make a realistic interpretation of AI run amok and skimp on the reality of it.

- Ultron wasn't quite right. I know Ultron from the comics, he is a cold, relentless machine bent on killing human life. This Ultron was a smooth talking, suave, gentlemanly villain... a witty manipulator. I get that part of his personality was based on Tony Stark's and therefore he would be a suave smart-ass, but he seemed less like Ultron and more like a robotic Lex Luthor!

- I want to be the first to predict it: Ultron will turn out to be a better Lex Luthor than Jesse Eisenberg!

- Could Ultron's plan have been anymore outlandish, random and convoluted? He wants to bring about peace by destroying mankind... sort of. He wants to cause a cataclysm that will wipe out most of humankind and force evolution... except that's not how it works. Evidence suggests that the dinosaurs were not wiped out immediately by the KT impact, but gradually over a few thousand years. If Ultron's logic was that peace can be attained by machines that are programmed to live harmoniously, I could buy that, but his plan was about forcing evolution... which would never bring about peace. Ask the Cro-Magnons who were most likely killed off by the Neanderthals, who were most likely killed off by Homo Sapiens. Strangely, Ultron's goal was more in line with something Apocalypse might do in creating a condition where only the strongest can survive.

- And in the middle of all that, Ultron had some weird fixation on making a robotic fleshed upgrade to himself that eventually became Vision... that whole thing felt forced into the script for the sole purpose of creating Vision and not a natural plotline. Many things felt forced in Age of Ultron.

- BIG TIME SPOILER - I am still a little surprised that they killed Quicksilver. I know why he was killed... Joss Whedon loves consequences for characters. I once saw a Q & A with him where he said (*and I'm paraphrasing because this was about ten years ago*) "In war, people die, that's what happens. It gives gravity to the situation. It can't just be clones versus robots." Regardless, Quicksilver was a major Avenger character that now, barring some unforeseen resurrection by ways of his magic sister or a certain gem covered glove, we will never have the luxury of watching develop.

- That being said, if one had to die, Scarlet Witch was always the bigger Avenger character anyway. Pietro wasn't always the best team player and he often would run off (pun possibly intended) to do other wacky things like join X-Factor or The Knights of Wundagore. Besides, we need the awkwardness of Scarlet Witch and Vision hooking up.

- In speaking of awkward, I guess this settles the debate about whether the movie versions of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch's will have the "extremely close" relationship from Ultimates.

- So in the debate of which Quicksilver was better, I think it goes to Evan Peters from Days of Future Past. His was fun and more memorable with arguably the best sequence in the film. Aaron Johnson's was probably truer to the Pietro Maximoff of the comics, a brooding cocky prick that grows on you, but having to share time in a massive ensemble film (that did not have the luxury of half the cast set decades into the future to make the film seem less crowded) and given that he died without being little more than a fun side character, the Quicksilver of Age of Ultron just wasn't as good. Plus, there was that fake accent.

- If Ultron is a super smart AI computer, then he would have had to know that an impact of the level that he was creating (with the chunk of Sokovia acting as a makeshift meteorite with a vibranium core) would have created a massibe electro-magnetic pulse that would have fried every version of himself in the vicinity. He would have certainly had to have had a back-up of himself somewhere else to ensure his survival... which is exactly what the comic book version does... which is why he is pretty much impossible to kill. Meaning... Ultron could probably return in a future film... though I doubt he will. There are too many villains and storylines and not that many movies for them to appear.

- I'm hoping the next Avengers films (Infinity War parts 1 & 2) will not follow this same formula of a single big villain with a generic army that threatens the Earth. In that way, Avengers 2 felt a lot like the first one... just replace aliens with robots. I would have preferred a villain team like The Masters of Evil. That way, instead of bland generic minions that we all know pose no threat to our heroes, the Avengers can face named villains with unique powers.

- I was really disappointed with the mid-credits scene. Once again we see Thanos and he has a gem-less gauntlet. Whoopee. And where the hell was my shwarma scene? I sat through the entire end credits for NOTHING! Captain America: Winter Soldier had a shwarma scene... so did Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World and Guardians of the Galaxy! In fact, most of the Marvel films have had shwarma scenes. What the hell Avengers 2?!?!

Final Thoughts: In the end, Avengers: Age of Ultron was entertaining enough to watch, but isn't anything near as special as the hype would have you believe. I'll put it this way... Avengers was something special. It was a culmination of several movies with big actors in one big super superhero movie that told it's own self-contained story with only subtle hints toward future films. Avengers: Age of Ultron was just a popcorn flick.

Toaster's Ramblings - Avengers: Age of Anxiety!

We are now less than 2 months from what is arguably the second most anticipated film of the year (some might debate that with Star Wars Episode 7). I am excited of course. I am a total geek, have seen every Marvel movie is theaters to date (note that by this I mean Marvel Studios, I skipped Elektra because it looked terrible). So there is that anxious 'waiting for Christmas' type of feeling waiting for May 1st.

That said, I am worried about Age of Ultron. I touched upon this briefly a couple of months ago, but I thought I would go into it a bit more. I am afraid there will be too much going on and too little time to do it in. Plus it seems to build into the "phase 3" of the Marvel movie-verse master plan. That doesn't sound too bad right there, but when you expand the details, the task seems pretty daunting.

First, you have a ton of new characters to introduce. So far it seems we have Baron Strucker, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Ulysses Klaw (the character Andy Serkis is rumored to be playing), Vision, some random mystery characters from the trailers (the disrobing woman in the caand of course Ultron. Now not every character here needs much of a time investment. I figure Klaw will be a brief cameo. Strucker will likely get the Batroc treatment from Captain America: The Winter Soldier, as in he's a big deal for the first fifteen minutes of the film. However, the rest need some real time to explain and develop. Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch and Vision will probably all become prominent Avengers (based on the comics). Vision will need an entire origin story along with Ultron!

Second, let's get into Ultron for a bit. Ultron is completely new to the film universe. In the first Avengers movie, Loki already had been introduced in Thor and established as a bad guy. This allowed less time to be spent on explaining him and more on the formation of the Avengers team. This luxury is not afforded to Ultron. We not only have to establish who he is but where he comes from and why he's a threat worthy of an entire team on heroes. Also, consider this... in the first Avengers movie, Joss Whedon really nailed the Loki character. It established him as a true super villain, something that Marvel films had been and continue to lack. In order for Ultron not to seem like a flash in the pan baddie (like Whiplash, Red Skull, Malekith or Ronan), we need some real time invested into him, with major scenes and huge moments that make him memorable.

Third, you still have six established Avengers team to spend time with. Obviously, Iron Man will get his spotlight in the overall story, but Captain America and Thor have to have their screen time. Plus, you still have Hulk, Black Widow and Hawkeye, who received the weakest amount of screen time in the first Avengers and... aside from a cameo in the first Thor movie, has never been in any other film. So, not only do you have the six established heroes slugging it out for screen time, but from the trailer we also see Iron Patriot, Agent Hill and Nick Fury all show up at some point. So that's at least nine established characters returning for the sequel and six new ones!

Can you see what makes me a little weary? Put it this way, both Spider-man 3 and the Amazing Spider-man 2 were criticized with being too cluttered with old and new characters that sacrificed the overall story. Spider-man 3 only had three new characters (Sandman, Venom and Gwen Stacy) to add to the established Spider-man, Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn (not including cameos from Aunt May and J Jonah Jameson). Excluding cameos, Amazing Spider-man 2 had to add Electro, Rhino, Norman Osborn and Green Goblin to the story that already had Spider-man, Gwen Stacy, Peter's dad and Aunt May.

Fourth, Age of Ultron seems to be trying very hard to create new movie franchises during it's run time. If the rumors are to be believed, many new characters might be featured as cameos to help try to fill out the Marvel Films universe before Civil War and to promote new franchises like Black Panther, Captain Marvel and Dr. Strange. The fatal flaw of Amazing Spider-man 2 was the fact that Sony was clearly more interested in pushing their Spider-man movie-verse agenda than actually telling a compelling and interesting story. There are ways to insert new characters in a brief manner that will pique the audience's interest. The trick is to use fine brush strokes. You can't be forceful, or else it stops being 'fan service' and just becomes obvious desperation. If Avengers 2 becomes too crowded and jumbled with introducing new characters, cameo or otherwise, it will suffer the same fate as Amazing Spider-man 2.

Fifth, Avengers 2 is clearly a transitional sequel. By this, I mean that the movie is being used to build the next part of the story. Usually, transitional sequels tend to... not be very good. Look at Matrix: Reloaded. Now, quickly look away lest your eyes burn! While the first Matrix film was a stand-alone story, Reloaded was a mess, an obvious cash grab with a plot that I still don't completely understand. Now compare that to Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. 'Empire' was a transitional sequel, but an excellent one that focused on character development and told a compelling story. Yes, it paved the way for Return of the Jedi, but unlike Reloaded, it left it's mark... more memorably that 'Jedi' did to be honest.

The first Avengers was a stand-alone film. It had it's own self-contained story that felt like a true culmination of all of the preceding films into a massive end-all-be-all over-the-top climactic battle. Avengers 2 is clearly building toward Captain America: Civil War, which worryingly has been building more hype as of late than Age of Ultron, a film that hasn't even been released yet!

To be fair, I have a lot of faith in Joss Whedon. Not only does his television biography speak for itself, but he made the first Avengers work on a huge level, making it the first superhero super-film. I hope that he has crafted a good story that gives the proper attention to the veteran Avengers while helping establish Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Vision and Ultron in the process. I hope the any other character cameos are kept reasonable and brief. Based on the trailers, it seems like Age of Ultron has that Empire Strikes Back feel to it... characters forced to face their shortcomings, a splintering of the group and high prices to pay for fighting the 'good fight.' Such themes have made for some of the greatest sequels of all time, such as the previously referenced Episode V, Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, The Dark Knight and even Godfather II (though that last one wasn't exactly about fighting for the angels).

Hopefully Age of Ultron will be Joss Whedon's 'The Empire Strikes Back' and not another disappointing ill-conceived cash-grab sequel.

Toaster's Ramblings - Marvel's Killing Spree Edition

Marvel seems to be hell bent on killing it's most popular characters. I already talked about the disbanding of the Fantastic Four, but that's not really what I mean. While Marvel is killing the team, it's not apparently killing off Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch of the Thing. Plus, the Fantastic Four hasn't really been popular in decades.

What I am referring to started a couple of years ago with Marvel "killing" Peter Parker to set up the Superior Spider-man storyline where, through confusing comic book logic, the mind of Dr. Octopus took over Spider-man's body and he decided to use his new situation to become a better hero than his nemesis. Somehow, this story didn't turn out to be as bad as it probably should have been. In fact, I've heard it was good and an interesting change of pace for the character. Unfortunately, I think this has emboldened Marvel to start doing other drastic changes. Steve Rogers loses the super soldier serum in his blood and rapidly ages his body into a frail, elderly one and forcing him to pass the torch to Falcon... creating an excuse for Marvel to have a black Captain America. Thor becomes unworthy for some reason and now there's a female Thor.

And then there's the Death of Wolverine event, where Marvel's (arguably) most popular character was killed off after losing his healing factor. I'm not really sure why they would do this. You need to realize that Wolverine has made Marvel a lot of money. He has had numerous solo books, he's been on line-ups of the Avengers, X-men, X-force and even the Fantastic Four. Wolverine has also been a long favorite to make a guest appearance to boost sales of other titles. All of that has ended... and for what?

I guess there is a cuurent storyline where Sabretooth will be trying to atone for his past sins by trying to be a hero in Wolverine's place as he will be part of the new Uncanny Avengers line-up. Apparently his evil nature was permanently altered with the events of Axis. This is oddly not the first time Sabretooth was sued to fill the void left by Wolvie. After Wolverine had gotten his adamantium ripped out, the villain Genesis tried to re-bond the metal to Logan's bones, only for his body to reject the adamantium, for some reason turning Wolverine into a feral nose-less pirate. (Seriously) During that time, Sabretooth was held captive by Xavier in an attempt to rehabilitate him and Sabretooth helped the X-men in a few battles. That didn't last and I'm guessing at some point Sabretooth will be evil again. I mean, come on... how many villains does Wolverine really have?

I'm sure the Death of Wolverine arc made some money, despite the obvious fact that at some point Logan will likely return from the dead, just as Spider-man, Batman and Superman had before him. There is that old saying that "nobody stays dead in comics." That's not a positive thing when you think about it. It means that deaths in comics are far too often used as a gimmick to increase sales. Occasionally, a death will be permanent or at least a character will remain deceased for a long time. Jean Grey became a running joke for her many deaths and resurrections, but her regular continuity character has remained dead for about a decade now (though the young version of her is running around after being brought to the present... again, confusing comic book logic). Jason Todd, the second Robin, remained dead for almost 20 years! And by the looks of things, the original Nova, Richard Ryder, will remain dead indefinitely while the current Nova, Sam Alexander, is running around. However, none of these characters were A-listers. Everyone knew Superman, Spider-man and Batman would be back from the dead before too long. It's the same for Wolverine too.

What really inspired me to start this rant was actually the news that Marvel is now planning to kill Deadpool! That's right, the insanely popular cult favorite "Merc with a Mouth" is going to die for some reason... again. (Seriously, he died about ten years ago... it didn't take.) This pisses me off. Marvel Now's Deadpool comic is one of the best today, with comedian Brian Posehn as a co-writer. The comic is really funny, amazingly creative and has real heart to it without at all compromising the humor or the character himself. So of course Marvel is going to end the comic.

I won't get into the history of Marvel cancelling the books I really like (post-Annihilation Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Initiative, post Civil War New Warriors, the Runaways... okay, after the Vaughn and Whedon runs the Runaways sucked, so no big loss there... wait, what was I talking about again?). However, I only subscribe to four books from Marvel and Deadpool is one of them. Does Marvel just not want my money? I'm sure my money can go somewhere else.

Maybe this is going to be a curve-ball. Maybe Deadpool won't really die but instead maybe fake his death and become a lumberjack like Dexter. My big question is... what's the point? We already had a replacement Deadpool after his previous death in the "Funeral for a Freak" storyline. His name was Agent X and he sucked.

Is there going to be some revolutionary change that will make this cheap marketing ploy seem worthwhile? It seems like Marvel keeps hoping that lightning will strike twice, then a third time and a fourth and so on. I think they got lucky with Superior Spider-man and I've heard the current "Falcon America" isn't bad. But remember that the 90's saw lots of characters and titles revamped to be more 'modern' such as Azrael becoming Batman to make the character a violent and dark, Reign of the Supermen, Artemis taking the Wonder Woman mantle to make the character violent and... dark, Hal Jordan becoming a mass murderer, Superman turning into blue energy, Dr. Strange dropping the Dr and becoming... dark, Thing becoming disfigured and wearing a bucket on his head, Dr. Fate dropping the Dr and using a knife so he can be... dark... and so on. Yeah, most of those ideas sucked.

It would be nice if comic book companies would just focus on good storytelling rather than publicity stunts to sell comics. However, all my bitching could be rendered moot if the rumors are true that the end result of this summer's Marvel event could be a reboot of the entire universe. At which point, I will no longer be able to defend Marvel's occasional bad decisions with 'Well, it's still better than the New 52.'

To borrow a quote from Jonny Prophet...  "I'm kind of over reboots."

Hey! We Saw a Movie! - Thor: The Dark World

 For today’s review we travel back in time… or forward to the future… or I guess laterally toward the strange futuristic middle ages world that is Asgard and its hunky, muscular, vaguely Australian hero named Thor. Wait, is Asgard a world or a city? They talk like it’s an entire realm, but it just looks like an overly elaborate city on film. What’s the deal? If that’s all there is to Asgard, what do they eat there? Or do they just go to other realms via the rainbow bridge and pillage their crops and livestock? That seems more likely, being Viking gods and all. Anyways, here is our review of Thor: The Dark World.

As always, there will probably be spoilers, but don’t worry. The secret that the smoke monster is actually Titus Welliver is safe with me!

Toaster’s Contribution: To adequately critique the new film, I think I need to explain our problems with the last one. Jonny and I have 2 big gripes about the previous Thor installment. The first is the same as any superhero film; you have to spend time to give the back story of the characters. In Thor’s case, the filmmakers had to donate a lot of time to the back story. After all, it’s a little harder to explain a magic hammer wielding god from outer space as opposed to, say a meek soldier given a secret serum to make him into a superhuman. I think that having to give the origin in the first film is why the sequel to (most) superhero franchises is better. The second, and bigger problem, is what the first Thor film did with the rest of their time. The movie had a dumb, quite under-whelming plot that saw Loki with an evil plan that made no sense (he was going to win Odin’s love by doing the same thing Thor got yelled at for?), the extremely intelligent Jane Foster become giggling girl putty at the sight of a nice set of abs and Thor change his entire perspective on life, honor and what it means to be a king in, oh, about an afternoon. The highlight of the movie was the Destroyer, which by comparison really wasn’t a long enough segment.

Now this is a point of some contention, but Jonny and I really didn’t think Loki was used (or directed) well in the first Thor. Honestly, we thought Tom Hiddleston was completely miscast… that was until we saw The Avengers. Loki was perfect in that movie. We then decided Kenneth Branagh simply didn’t know how to direct the character as clearly Joss Whedon hit it out of the ballpark. So, that is an additional problem that we had with the first film.

Thor: The Dark World didn’t have these problems and as a result was able to tell a compelling and action-packed story. In fact, a lot of complaints one may have had against the first movie were improved upon. Natalie Portman’s character actually served a major purpose to the story. Kat Dennings got much more screen time. Thor’s Asgardian allies, such as The Warriors Three and Sif, were all given the spotlight at certain points. Even Heimdall, played by the always awesome and underrated Idris Elba, was given a chance to show how much of a bad ass he could be. Loki was used to excellence, his character given a major part in the story. We also got to see a lot more of the realm of Asgard, with its weird mix of medieval weaponry, magic, laser cannons and spaceships. That’s a really weird mix. Sometimes I thought I was watching He-man. Hey, that would be a cool battle… Thor vs. He-man!  (Thor may have the edge in that one given that he can fly.)

If I had to complain, it would be about the amount of time spent with the movie’s villains Malekith and the Kursed. Let me start off by saying that Malekith’s army, the Dark Elves, looked extremely creepy in those lifeless, black-eyed masks. Those could haunt my nightmares. The 9^th Doctor himself Chris Eccleston played Malekith, the leader of the Dark Elves who had a serious obsession with a universal force known as The Aether and it’s ability to help him plunge all of existence into permanent darkness. (Maybe like Mr. Burns he owned a nuclear power plant and stood to make a killing without sunlight!)

Eccleston made for a great baddie. At times he commanded a Terrence Stamp Zod swagger along with his booming voice. I would have liked more time with Malekith though. I also would have liked more of his uber-minion The Kursed. (Think if the Batman villain used his venom, but instead of becoming bigger and stronger, he became Doomsday!) The Kursed was awesome, a near-unstoppable force that was resistant to almost any weapon and whose touch would suck the life from you. His battle with Thor felt too short, though. Granted, I’m not sure how long Thor could have stood up to the monster, but such a build-up deserves an epic battle. In contrast, Thor’s final battle with Malekith was pretty great. It was given a good amount of time and felt every bit as epic as it should have. I just would have liked some more scenes with Malekith leading up to the climax to further cement his presence as a threat. Loki, who wasn’t really even a villain in The Dark World, had way more screen time than both Malekith and The Kursed combined!

That said, my complaints are pretty small. Thor: The Dark World definitely earns its place as one of Marvel’s best superhero films, possibly ranking third after Avengers and the first Iron Man. Of course, we will have to see how Captain America: The Winter Soldier ranks. The trailer to that movie looks incredible!

Alright, I have received a message from Jonny Prophet from deep within his volcano lair in the South Pacific. I will attempt to translate it for you…

Jonny’s Contribution: I love Loki and would totally want to be in his kingdom. Thor 2 corrects many of the problems with the first film, but I still have 3 questions… 1. Why didn’t Doctor Who just use his Tardis? 2. Why didn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. get involved in London? And 3. Why no Beta Ray Bill?… no Beta Ray Bill, no peace. Creepy elf masks rule!

Jonny went on to proclaim that Jaimie Alexander would make a great choice to play Wonder Woman. We would still love Gina Carano, but Alexander would be amazing. Her portrayal of Sif definitely won us over as a candidate for the Amazon warrior princess.

As for those questions, I’ll bet I can answer them for him. 1. Because he’s not Doctor Who, he’s Destro! 2. S.H.I.E.L.D. was too busy not going after the Mandarin in Iron Man 3 & 3. Weird horse-headed space Thor requires more time to explain than this movie would have allowed. I mean, just imagine…

Thor – Come on, we have to fight the evil Dark Elves before they destroy the universe! Oh wait, a weird robot horse head guy oddly dressed like me has arrived to help.

Beta Ray Bill – ‘Sup.  

Until the next review… Stay Strange!