Toaster's Ramblings - The Convergance of the Secret Wars (or How Marvel and DC Had the Same Summer Event)

It seems that Marvel and DC both have pretty much run the same storyline event for the summer. Both Secret Wars and Convergence deal with time and reality getting smashed together into a jumbled mess of different characters from different worlds, where they all fight and eventually everything gets (sort of but not really) rebooted. I do find it amusing that DC has had the New 52 around less than five years and already needs to do a "soft" reboot. (A soft reboot, by the way, is when some parts of a universe get a fresh start while others continue on as normal.) Now maybe it was just a coincidence that both comic companies ran similar events, but I doubt it. Marvel has apparently been working on Secret Wars for five years, while reviews suggest that Convergence felt rushed in many ways. DC probably got wind of what Marvel was planning and set out to do their own version and release it a few months early (Convergence started this past Spring and is already over. Secret Wars is currently ongoing.)

Honestly, I haven't been following either event. Five dollars an issue for Secret Wars is too much, I would rather wait for a trade edition. As for DC, I'm pretty much done with them. Not only have I grown to hate the New 52, but DC decided to implement a new way of placing advertising into their comic books...

DC You? More like DC... You Suck!

Yeah, so as long as that ridiculous shit is going on, I'm out. If Marvel does it too, I'll be done with them as well. I don't mind a page add, or even a two-page add, but I will not share comic book art and storyline on the same page as an advertisement. That's bullshit. Not only does it take you out of the story, but it is disrespectful to the very medium of comic book art. Imagine if instead of specific commercial breaks on television, commercials randomly play in the middle of your show. Let's say you're watching CW's Arrow and Ollie is about to fight Deathstroke and just as the first punch is thrown, we cut to a Clearasil commercial, then go back to the punch in mid-swing. It would kind of piss you off, now wouldn't it? Well, split-page ads piss me off just the same way.

I don't really know what the post-Convergence DC universe looks like, but the Marvel one is interesting. First of all, much of the pre-Secret Wars developments remain intact. Falcon is still the new Captain America and Steve Rogers is still old. Thor is still a woman (Jane Foster). Wolverine is still dead. The Fantastic Four, as a team, is also dead with Human Torch hanging out with the Inhumans and Thing the new pilot for the Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not really sure where Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman will end up, though the latter was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. before the event.

The list of the post-Secret Wars title launches has been released and while some really don't interest me at all, others are quite intriguing. Here are my thoughts on the upcoming books:

A-Force #1 - AKA the "female Avengers." Seems a little on the nose to me. "You want more gender diversity? Have an entire book of woman Avengers!" It almost borderlines on gimmicky to me. I will say that there seem to be far more women Avengers than their were in the 90's when most seemed to be female versions of popular male heroes (She-Hulk, Spider-woman), but that may just be due to the fact that in the last 10 years, EVERYONE seems to be an Avenger. I also wonder, who will a team of female Avengers fight? Will they face female villains? How many female villains does Marvel have that are an Avengers level threat? I might thumb through the first issue to see what this book is like, but I don't expect much.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - I don't watch the show, why would I read the comic?

All-New All-Different Avengers #1 - I might actually get a subscription to this one. I like the younger line-up of Nova (Sam Alexander), Ms. Marvel and Spider-man (Miles Morales) contrasted with veterans like "Falcon America," Jane Foster Thor, Iron Man and Vision. It has a Young Justice vibe to it.

All-New Wolverine #1 - While it's interesting that X-23 is the new Wolverine, I doubt I will buy the book.

All-New X-Men #1-  So are they still the original X-men from the 60's (or whenever they're supposed to come from, something tells me the present Cyclops isn't in his mid-50's)? I don't know. I didn't read the book before and I'm pretty sure I won't read it now. It seems like the novelty of young versions running around with their older counterparts would have worn off by now.

Amazing Spider-Man #1 - I'm guessing this is the Peter Parker Spider-man since Miles Morales has the non-adjective Spider-man book. I don't know... I might look at it. Maybe it will be unique. I doubt I will buy it, though.

Angela: Asgard’s Assassin #1 - I liked when Angela was time-displaced and hung out with the Guardians of the Galaxy, having a friendly rivalry with Gamora. Then for some reason it was revealed she was Asgardian... which is weird. I guess Marvel wanted to start over with her back-story, but I would have preferred that she is the same character from Spawn that now is stuck in the 616 universe... and occasionally alludes to her former life. I'm just not sure I care about her as Asgard's assassin... the Asgardians already have Sif and the Jane Foster Thor... I might flip through the book, but I doubt I will be impressed.

Ant-Man #1 - Never been much of an Ant-man fan. The whole shrinking thing never seemed that useful unless you are evil (like Atomica in Forever Evil). Then you can scramble people's brains or enter their body and grow to normal size so your victim pops like a balloon. But commanding an army of ants? Um... I guess you could get them to bring you all the loose change on the ground for miles around. I guess there are actual uses in espionage, but I never really cared. I doubt I will pick up this book.

Captain Marvel #1 - I'm glad that Carol Danvers is getting her due as Marvel's elite super heroine. However, I haven't read any of her books so far. Not sure if I will start here, either.

Carnage #1 - I don't get the point of this one. Is Carnage still a serial killing monster or are they trying to make him a hero now? Either way, I'm not sure it will work as an ongoing series.

Contest of Champions #1 - Place your bets now about how long this book will last! If the writer's are smart, there will be an end point, like with Avengers Arena. This is not a premise that will last long.

Daredevil #1 - I might flip through this book. I loved the Netflix series (who didn't?) and am curious if Marvel will try to make the comic more like the show. I think Daredevil is in serious need of new villains, good new villains. Most of his villains are lame. They can't just keep going back to Kingpin and Bullseye. Like I said, I will give it a once over, but I'm not expecting much.

Deadpool #1 - I like Deadpool and as such will probably get this book. The writers, however, have big shoes to fill. The previous volume's writing team, including comedian Brian Posehn, made a really good run full of hilarity, some genius moments (the various "lost" throwback issues of Daredevil from decades past), and a great supporting crew including ghost Ben Franklin.

Doctor Strange #1 - Maybe the film will give me new appreciation for the Sorceror Supreme, but it won't be in time for me to start reading this book.

Drax #1 - I will check this book out for one reason... former WWE star CM Punk is co-writing. It doesn't guarantee that the book will be any good, but like with any celebrity writer, it's worth a look.

Extraordinary X-Men #1 - Good news... in addition to being Uncanny, All-New, All-Different, Extreme and Astonishing, the X-men are also Extraordinary. It has an interesting line-up with Colossus, Iceman, Jean Grey (from the past), Nightcrawler (whom I thought was dead), Magik, Storm and Old Man Logan... because Marvel is really serious about Wolverine staying dead. Will Jean Grey discuss with the Iceman of the present about how his past version is gay? Only time will tell. I might glance at this book, but I'm not expecting anything "extraordinary." (see what I did there? I'm clever.)

Guardians of the Galaxy #1 - I was reading the previous run and loved the Abnett/Lanning run that has inspired a new age for Marvel's space universe and renewed love for many forgotten characters. (Ten years ago, did you think you would see a movie starring Star-Lord? Did you even know who the hell Star-Lord was? My point exactly.) Brian Michael Bendis is still writing this new volume, but I guess now Rocket Raccoon is the leader and Thing is the new pilot. And Star-Lord is a woman. I'm game, why not?

Hawkeye #1 - The only time I ever read a Hawkeye book was when he led The Thunderbolts way back when. I'm okay with leaving it that way. If I need my bow and arrow fix, CW's got me covered.

Howard the Duck #1 - Um... no.

Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - This one will be among the first wave of cancellations, mark my words. Unless they go back in time to fight Nazis with the real Howling Commandos... that I would check out.

Illuminati #1 - What is the purpose of a book about the elitist secret club of Marvel? Do they fight as a team? Are they a team? Do I care? I can answer one of those questions.

Invincible Iron Man #1 - I might glance at this book. Here's the thing, I love the movie version of Tony Stark, because Robert Downey Jr. gives the character a great deal of wit and fast comedic timing, because if not for those, let's be honest, we would all think Tony Stark was a self-righteous prick. Well, the Tony Stark of the comics, even after the debut of the first Iron Man movie, is a self-righteous prick. However, I did enjoy Tony Stark during his brief tenure with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Why? Because Brian Michael Bendis writes Tony as witty and fun. So, since he's writing this book, I will give it a look.

Karnak #1 - The only reason I'm going to check out this book is because Warren Ellis is the writer. I expect I'm not the only one who shares that sentiment.

The Mighty Thor #1 - Is this still Jane Foster Thor? That's cool. I didn't read her book before Secret Wars, why mess with success?

Ms. Marvel #1 - I missed the boat on this book. I've heard great things and will probably check out trades of the previous volume. As such, I might thumb through this new volume.

New Avengers #1 - Not sure why they didn't just call this A.I.M.: Avengers Idea Mechanics. This line-up is crazy. The team is led by Sunspot and features Wiccan, Hulkling, Squirrel-girl, Hawkeye, Power Man, White Tiger and Songbird. I may have to check this book out based on the line-up alone. However, I am not confident on this book's success.

Nova #1 - I love Nova. I was a fan of Richard Ryder. I came to love Sam Alexander was well. The cover of this new book shows Sam in his Black Nova get-up with an adult dressed in classic Nova Corp attire. My question is... is that adult Sam's dad or Ryder back from the dead? (Really hoping for the latter.) This is one book I will be picking up.

Old Man Logan #1 - So what, is Old Man Logan now in the 616 Marvel universe? Do I care? Not really.

Sam Wilson, Captain America #1 - I'll be honest, the only time I ever gave a shit about Falcon was in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I don't really get why he is Captain America. Does he have the Super Soldier Serum? Otherwise he's Falcon with a shield. I'm still not really giving a shit.

Silk #1 - I know nothing about this character except she is somehow connected to the "Spider-verse" which I guess is a thing now. Is their also a Hawkeye-verse and a Paste-Pot Pete-verse?

Scarlet Witch #1 - I've never been a big Scarlet Witch fan, so... yeah.

Spider-Gwen #1 - She's got a following, but I've never read anything about the alternate reality Gwen that got powers. It's still part of the Spider-verse. I want to read a book about the Groot-verse!

Spider-Man #1 - I think it's cool that Miles Morales will be the main Spider-man after Secret Wars. He's a great character that allows Marvel to explore Spider-man in high school again without resorting to deals with Mephisto or de-aging Peter Parker. Best of all, Miles' creator, Brain Michael Bendis, is writing the book. I might check this book out... partly to know how Miles came to be in the 616 universe when Parker is still alive (unless he's the same from the Ultimate universe and just "displaced"). I'm not always on board with Bendis, but he does to Spider-man really well.

Spider-Man 2099 #1 - Way back in the day I actually had a subscription of Spider-man 2099 mailed to my house (the town I was raised in was without a comic shop of it's own). The book was only okay, primarily for a lack of great, memorable villains. I mean, Spider-man has the best rogues gallery of any hero in the Marvel universe, yet his counter-part from a hundred years in the future really didn't have many to speak of. I'm actually having a tough time remembering any beyond 2099 versions of Vulture and Venom. There was a cyborg bounty hunter whose name escapes me and some guy named Thanatos that looked like a Roman gladiator (no, his skin wasn't purple, I don't think he had anything to do with that Thanos). I think the new book takes place in the 616 universe, so I guess he can borrow current Spider-man villains. I doubt I'll read the book... I might flip through it out of curiosity. I like his costume at least.

Spider-Woman #1 - Never cared for Spider-woman. I'll pass.

Squadron Supreme #1 - I might check this one out. It could be interesting... or it could be a waste of time. It's a real toss-up.

Star-Lord #1 - Why is Star-Lord a woman? I thought I saw cover art that showed the character with a feminine body. But then I saw another where he was wearing his trademark mask while wearing an astronaut outfit and a "Quill" name badge... so I have no idea what is going on. I might flip through the book to see if they answer it, but I doubt I'll care enough to buy the comic.

The Totally Awesome Hulk #1 - Is the Hulk "totally awesome" now? He has been Incredible and Invincible and... red. Why is he awesome? I guess he may be someone other than Bruce Banner. After Red Hulk, Skaar, A-Bomb, She-Hulk and Red She-Hulk, that's just what we needed. As long as he's "totally awesome."

Web Warriors #1 - So it's another book based on the Spider-verse, but this time loosely affiliated with a cartoon? I don't get it.

Ultimates #1 - So it's a book with nothing to do with the Ultimate universe. It's just an Avengers book under a different name. It has Black Panther, the current Captain Marvel, the past Captain Marvel (Monica Rambeau) as Spectrum, and Blue Marvel... a character that a month ago I had never heard of. Might glance at it, but I am doubtful I'll buy it. 

Uncanny Avengers #1 - So this book is kind of odd for me. Initially, I loved the book. It fulfilled that craving I had for super teams fighting massive threats, first with the Red Skull, then against the Apocalypse Twins. Then, the book got weird. Havok, one of my favorite X-men, got disfigured... like on a Two-Face level. Wolverine lost his healing factor and would soon be dead, Steve Rogers was old, Rogue had absorbed Wonder Man... then after the Red Onslaught storyline, the entire line-up changed (save for Scarlet Witch and Rogue). I wanted to like the new line-up. It had Quicksilver, whom I haven't read in a book since X-Factor and there was Sabretooth, seeking redemption. However, the team focused all of it's time fighting the High Evolutionary... a character I've never really cared for. Plus, we were treated to the old Avengers soap opera from back in the day that led to my hating the book and team... the bizarre love triangle (obligatory New Order reference) of Scarlet Witch, Vision and Wonder Man. Ugh... so stupid. This new book once again has a new line-up adding Spider-man, Human Torch, some new chick named Synapse and Deadpool. I will give the book another shot.

Uncanny Inhumans #1 - I've never been huge on the Inhumans. I like them as part of the overall Marvel universe, but not for their own stories and drama. I doubt I will get this book.

Uncanny X-Men #1- This is a book that intrigues me. It has Magneto leading a team with Psylocke, Mystique, Fantomex and Sabretooth... with some other as yet to be revealed mutants. It's like a Brotherhood of Mutants team under the X-men banner. I will definitely check this one out.

Venom: Spaceknight #1 - I doubt this book will last. Despite the popularity of the character, a Venom-centric book has never been a big hit. I do like the reinvention of the character with host Flash Thompson. Instead of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, this is apparently continuing his space adventures since joining the Guardians of the Galaxy. But what's this "spacknight" thing? Is that like Rom the Spaceknight? It might be interesting, but I have my doubts about the book's future. I will give it a once-over however.

The Vision #1 - Remember how I said I was never a Scarlet Witch fan? The same applies to Vision. The two of them made an awful soap opera storyline for so long... I hated the Avengers for years because of them. 

So yeah. I will have some new Marvel comics to check out and will avoid DC like the plague.  Time will tell whether this will improve the Marvel Universe, or make it more convoluted, or have no effect at all. I'm just glad they haven't gone the New 52 route and rebooted everything. I think at that point I just would have been done with comics... except indies. Come to think of it, I should check out indie books more often. Valiant's been looking pretty good lately. 

Until next time, Stay Strange!

Top 10 Least Likely to be made Marvel Movies We Want to See!

Jonny Prophet has sent me a list of his Top 10 'Unlikely to be Made' Marvel Movies. I added my italicized thoughts to each one.

1. Joe Fix-It & Patch (it's like a mob movie with Hulk and Wolverine) (Probably not, unless Fox decides they no longer like money)

2. Squirrel-Girl (I would say, given the success of Guardians of the Galaxy, it is possible. I guess we will have to see how Deadpool does to get a feel for how oddball superhero movies can do. Though her origin would have to change as she's supposed to be a mutant.)

3. The Invaders (Need Namor for Invaders to work. Personally I would save it for when Disney inevitably reboots the Marvel movie-verse.)

4. Starfox (its like Entourage in space!)  (Yeah, doubtful. And who would be his entourage? Please tell me Pip the Troll is part of his entourage!)

5. The Midnight Sons (Actually, I think this one is very likely to happen. Marvel owns Dr. Strange, Ghost Rider and Blade so all the necessary parts are there. Plus, it's a mini-Avengers type of film.)

6. Giant Size Man-Thing (Don't we all want a Giant Size Man-Thing?)

7. Eternals (It's possible, but they are way too obscure. Seriously, I am having trouble naming any beyond Thanos, Starfox and Mentor!)

8. Doc Samson (You just want to see Phil Dunphy with green hair and super powers. So do I. We can maybe get in in an Agents of S.M.A.S.H. movie... as dumb as that sounds.)

9. Dazzler (set in the 1970's or in the Mojoverse) (I doubt it, since we just had our "70's" X-men movie. Though in the released photo of Jean Grey and Jubilee, notice that Jubilee is wearing a "Light Brigade" shirt! Interesting... I would persoanlly like a Chris Claremont themed X-men movie, true to the line-ups and story telling. I would love a Mojoverse movie too!)

10. Squadron Supreme (it would be like a darker Justice League movie) (Could actually happen, but they would have to follow the MAX version for both a good story and to try to distance itself from being a straight JL rip-off. although, by the looks of things, Zack Snyder is already making a "darker" Justice League movie. *cringe*)

As for me, my Top 8 unlikely Marvel Movies would look something like this:

1. Runaways - I've heard rumors that this could happen, even some casting rumors. However, my hopes are for a story faithful to Brian K. Vaughn's amazing run with no stupidity. That's probably the most unlikely part.

2. New Warriors - I'm talking the original six members of Marvel Boy (Justice), Speedball, Firestar, Namorita, Nova and ghetto Batman... er, I mean Night Thrasher. Could Marvel make this movie? I think so. They might have to change Namorita's name. The real probalem is that if they wanted to make a superhero team about a younger team, wouldn't they just make the currently more well known Young Avengers? Hell, it has the name Avengers in it... that's practically a done deal right there. Oh well. Young Avengers was good too... though much of the team's backstory would have to be changed (Hulkling has no Skrull genetics... Wiccan and Speed are made by Scarlet Witch as love children of her and Vision... a relationship that hasn't even happened yet... huh. Hey, whatever gets us closer to having Kang on film, right?)

3. Annihilation - More of a storyline than a super hero storyline, it involved virtually every inch of Marvel's space universe when a massive army from the Negative Zone (owned by Fox) led by Annihilus (also Fox) lays waste Xandar, home of the Novas, to various space empires like the Skrulls (again, Fox) before being stopped by the likes of Nova, Star-Lord, Silver Surfer (Fox), Super-Skrull (Fox) and Galactus (hey, what do you know? Owned by Fox). So unless they plan to do a half-assed version of the story, which would make me cry, I don't think they'll bother.

4. Exiles - Could it happen? Yes, through Fox. Should it happen? Absolutely not. Let's keep time out of our mutants, please. Unless the rest of the Marvel Universe can take part, it will make no sense and suck.

5. Agents of Atlas - It's an obscure team of people you've never heard of that originally operated in the 1950's... and it would rule! The team has all kinds of sci-fi influenced characters like M-11, an unstoppable robot, Gorilla Man, a gorilla man... duh, a young man from Venus and even an Atlantean woman. They would fight the forces of The Yellow Claw. It would never happen, but damn I would love it!

6. Avengers: 1950's - Sort of like Agents of Atlas, it was a non-cannon team of super beings brought together by Nick Fury (the white one from World War II) that included monster-hunter Ulysses Bloodstone, Kraven the Hunter, Silver Sable (the father of the woman from the Spider-man books) and most interestingly... Sabretooth! While Agents of Atlas could happen, this one can't unless they remove Sabretooth from the line-up... and at that point, why bother?

7. Brute Force - Animals with cybernetic attachments that can talk and fight crime against those that harm animals... COME ON! Hell, give us a Big Hero 6 style movie of them. I would watch!

8. Nextwave - Warren Ellis' deranged take on the super hero team would be awesome on film. Unfortunately, Marvel doesn't have rights to Tabitha Smith (she is a mutant so she is owned by Fox) but you could make a new character to fill her absence. Marvel owns the others... The Captain, Aaron Stack the Machine Man, Monica Rambeau, Elsa Bloodstone. I want to see them fight the forces of H.A.T.E. dammit! The movie would be on par with Guardians of the Galaxy as far as humor.

That's all I have for now... I might add more later.  Until next time, Stay Strange!

Toaster's Ramblings - Spider-man has Come Home to Marvel (Films) Edition

The news about Sony and Disney working out a deal with the cinematic use of Spider-man has been known for almost a month now, but I thought I would throw in my two cents now that we seem to know a little more about what will be going on. For a while there were a lot of rumors running rampant, but some details seem clearer now, still technically rumors, but rumors with some weight behind them. Apparently the Spider-man franchise will be rebooted... again. It's unclear if this will be a "soft" reboot (Sort of like the new Terminator movie, it's a new direction with new recasts, but the previous continuity is intact) or if we are getting a full do-over. Perhaps they can call this set of films "Spectacular Spider-man."

The reason I wonder iof this is a softy reboot is that Sony still wants to make movie spin-offs of the Spider-man property such as Venom and that confusing Sinister Six movie. That last one is strange. It seems like to do a Sinister Six movie, Sony kind of has to keep the mythology from the two Amazing Spider-man films as they introduced four of the six (Lizard, Rhino, Electro and Green Goblin) and the sequel showed the Vulture's wings and Dr. Octopus' arms. Having to introduce all of that from scratch would be difficult.

Of course, Jonny and I have wondered about how a Sinister Six movie would work. Whom would they fight? Spider-man? If that's the case, wouldn't it be his movie versus the Sinister Six? Will they fight other villains? If so, Sony's going to have to dredge up some seriously obscure characters to rival those 6. Of course, they could just fight other Sinister Six members from the comics like Hobgoblin, Sandman, Mysterio, Kraven the Hunter, Scorpion and Boomerang? That could be cool if it's not too chaotic. Personally, a purely villain driven film could be really cool, if done well. It's something that's never been done before and you could really explore the flip-side of the superhero world. It's like what Wanted could have been if they hadn't neutered the premise by making the film about an assassin's guild rather than super-villains that had conquered the world years prior. But, like I said, it would require the Sinister Six film to be written and directed well... something I doubt a mainstream studio looking to rake in cash is going to pull off. Why? Because Sony will want to play things safe and, unfortunately for them, a film where the bad guys are the protagonists is not something you can play safe. Put it this way, how crappy a show would Breaking Bad have been if Vince Gilligan and AMC had chose to "play it safe."

Getting back to the topic, it has become clear that Sony wants Marvel to help them make a better Spider-man movie. The deal is a win-win. Sony gets an improved product with the possibility of crossovers. (How cool would a Maximum Carnage movie be with Sony borrowing characters like Daredevil, Captain America, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, etc.?)  Marvel gets one of their biggest and most recognizable characters to help expand their universe, possibly as soon as next year's Captain America 3: Civil War!

One thing we know is that Andrew Garfield is out. Marvel and Sony are trying to find a new Peter Parker (last I heard Logan Lerman and Dylan O'Brien are being talked about). Of course, there is the discussion of having the Ultimate Marvel universe's Miles Morales wear the Spider-man costume on the big screen. I would love this. It would bring a much needed big name minority character to the big screen. However, I don't see it happening. First of all, it might alienate audiences. By that, I don't mean people can't accept a black Spider-man, though there are many that would have a problem with that. What I mean is that Miles Morales is popular with a lot of comic book fans, but if every fan of that character bought a ticket to a Miles Morales Spider-man movie, it wouldn't bring in nearly enough money to be considered a hit. Sony made this deal to make money, not take risks. Average movie-goers are the ones who make or break a movie's success. The majority of the knowledge about Spider-man that the average movie-goer has is from the movies... and by judging from the Amazing Spider-man's numbers, those films are from the Sam Raimi years. My guess would be that average movie-goers might not see a Mile Morales Spider-man film just out of confusion. Now if Morales were introduced in something else and audiences got used to him they might be more acclimated to seeing a stand-alone film of his. It's all about familiarity.

Secondly, I don't think audiences are done with Peter Parker. I read an article from someone who felt that people wouldn't really want to move on to a new guy in the Spider-man until we get some truly excellent Peter Parker Spider-man films. Lets face it, none of the Spider-man films have had that perfect combination. Tobey Maguire lacked the energetic spirit and cockiness of the Peter Parker of the comics. Andrew Garfield was closer, but still not perfect, plus his films had some other problems, among them failing to capture the fun spirit of the Raimi trilogy. I will put it this way, Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy gave us what I and many others consider a damn near perfect Batman and a near perfect set of films. I think it's because of this high water mark that Zack Snyder and Warner Brothers has chosen to make an older version of Batman and a female Robin, something we have never seen on the big screen before. Until Spider-man has such a great set of films, I don't think Pete is going anywhere.

Oh yeah, I want to add that while I love Donald Glover, he's 31 years old. Miles Morales is supposed to be like fourteen or right around that age. I'm sorry, but he's too old! He would be the oldest actor to start playing Spider-man in the movies.

Moving on slightly, I've seen some write-ups that Spider-man's addition to the Marvel films universe will have a negative impact on lesser known characters whose films may be pushed back to make room for a Marvel directed Web-Slinger flick. I fail to see how Marvel getting their masthead character to use in their already successful films if a bad thing. Yes, Black Panther and Captain Marvel are likely to be pushed back a bit, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. As the Marvel Films progress, it will become harder for them to keep their original actors. (By his own admission, Robert Downey Jr.'s days as Iron Man are numbered.) This in turn will make it harder for Disney & Marvel to produce films that maintain the success rates of their predecessors. One way to help is to introduce new franchises. I don't think pushing back a few of those movies, like Black Panther, Captain Marvel and Dr. Strange, is problematic. On the contrary, it could benefit Marvel in the long run not to cram a bunch of new characters film releases into a small stretch of time. I mean, it's not like Marvel won't make those movies.

I look forward to getting what I hope will be some great Spider-man films as well as the chance to have him and his related characters show up in other Marvel films. Now all we need is Fantastic Four. We just need to boycott the new movie, cause it to bomb and Fox will hopefully decide to give it back to Marvel and just focus on the mutants. Sounds like a plan to me.

Toaster's Ramblings - Marvel's Killing Spree Edition

Marvel seems to be hell bent on killing it's most popular characters. I already talked about the disbanding of the Fantastic Four, but that's not really what I mean. While Marvel is killing the team, it's not apparently killing off Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch of the Thing. Plus, the Fantastic Four hasn't really been popular in decades.

What I am referring to started a couple of years ago with Marvel "killing" Peter Parker to set up the Superior Spider-man storyline where, through confusing comic book logic, the mind of Dr. Octopus took over Spider-man's body and he decided to use his new situation to become a better hero than his nemesis. Somehow, this story didn't turn out to be as bad as it probably should have been. In fact, I've heard it was good and an interesting change of pace for the character. Unfortunately, I think this has emboldened Marvel to start doing other drastic changes. Steve Rogers loses the super soldier serum in his blood and rapidly ages his body into a frail, elderly one and forcing him to pass the torch to Falcon... creating an excuse for Marvel to have a black Captain America. Thor becomes unworthy for some reason and now there's a female Thor.

And then there's the Death of Wolverine event, where Marvel's (arguably) most popular character was killed off after losing his healing factor. I'm not really sure why they would do this. You need to realize that Wolverine has made Marvel a lot of money. He has had numerous solo books, he's been on line-ups of the Avengers, X-men, X-force and even the Fantastic Four. Wolverine has also been a long favorite to make a guest appearance to boost sales of other titles. All of that has ended... and for what?

I guess there is a cuurent storyline where Sabretooth will be trying to atone for his past sins by trying to be a hero in Wolverine's place as he will be part of the new Uncanny Avengers line-up. Apparently his evil nature was permanently altered with the events of Axis. This is oddly not the first time Sabretooth was sued to fill the void left by Wolvie. After Wolverine had gotten his adamantium ripped out, the villain Genesis tried to re-bond the metal to Logan's bones, only for his body to reject the adamantium, for some reason turning Wolverine into a feral nose-less pirate. (Seriously) During that time, Sabretooth was held captive by Xavier in an attempt to rehabilitate him and Sabretooth helped the X-men in a few battles. That didn't last and I'm guessing at some point Sabretooth will be evil again. I mean, come on... how many villains does Wolverine really have?

I'm sure the Death of Wolverine arc made some money, despite the obvious fact that at some point Logan will likely return from the dead, just as Spider-man, Batman and Superman had before him. There is that old saying that "nobody stays dead in comics." That's not a positive thing when you think about it. It means that deaths in comics are far too often used as a gimmick to increase sales. Occasionally, a death will be permanent or at least a character will remain deceased for a long time. Jean Grey became a running joke for her many deaths and resurrections, but her regular continuity character has remained dead for about a decade now (though the young version of her is running around after being brought to the present... again, confusing comic book logic). Jason Todd, the second Robin, remained dead for almost 20 years! And by the looks of things, the original Nova, Richard Ryder, will remain dead indefinitely while the current Nova, Sam Alexander, is running around. However, none of these characters were A-listers. Everyone knew Superman, Spider-man and Batman would be back from the dead before too long. It's the same for Wolverine too.

What really inspired me to start this rant was actually the news that Marvel is now planning to kill Deadpool! That's right, the insanely popular cult favorite "Merc with a Mouth" is going to die for some reason... again. (Seriously, he died about ten years ago... it didn't take.) This pisses me off. Marvel Now's Deadpool comic is one of the best today, with comedian Brian Posehn as a co-writer. The comic is really funny, amazingly creative and has real heart to it without at all compromising the humor or the character himself. So of course Marvel is going to end the comic.

I won't get into the history of Marvel cancelling the books I really like (post-Annihilation Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Initiative, post Civil War New Warriors, the Runaways... okay, after the Vaughn and Whedon runs the Runaways sucked, so no big loss there... wait, what was I talking about again?). However, I only subscribe to four books from Marvel and Deadpool is one of them. Does Marvel just not want my money? I'm sure my money can go somewhere else.

Maybe this is going to be a curve-ball. Maybe Deadpool won't really die but instead maybe fake his death and become a lumberjack like Dexter. My big question is... what's the point? We already had a replacement Deadpool after his previous death in the "Funeral for a Freak" storyline. His name was Agent X and he sucked.

Is there going to be some revolutionary change that will make this cheap marketing ploy seem worthwhile? It seems like Marvel keeps hoping that lightning will strike twice, then a third time and a fourth and so on. I think they got lucky with Superior Spider-man and I've heard the current "Falcon America" isn't bad. But remember that the 90's saw lots of characters and titles revamped to be more 'modern' such as Azrael becoming Batman to make the character a violent and dark, Reign of the Supermen, Artemis taking the Wonder Woman mantle to make the character violent and... dark, Hal Jordan becoming a mass murderer, Superman turning into blue energy, Dr. Strange dropping the Dr and becoming... dark, Thing becoming disfigured and wearing a bucket on his head, Dr. Fate dropping the Dr and using a knife so he can be... dark... and so on. Yeah, most of those ideas sucked.

It would be nice if comic book companies would just focus on good storytelling rather than publicity stunts to sell comics. However, all my bitching could be rendered moot if the rumors are true that the end result of this summer's Marvel event could be a reboot of the entire universe. At which point, I will no longer be able to defend Marvel's occasional bad decisions with 'Well, it's still better than the New 52.'

To borrow a quote from Jonny Prophet...  "I'm kind of over reboots."

Toaster's Ramblings - Marvel Cancels the Fantastic Four Edition

By now, those of us in the geek world are well aware that Marvel Comics has cancelled their Fantastic Four book. The reasoning for this seems to be causing a bit of a stir. While the book sales have been low, they weren't as low as some other books in Marvel's line-up. This has lead many to speculate that Marvel, under the command of their mouse-eared overlords, are trying to stick it to Fox, which owns the movies rights to the Fantastic Four.

For those unclear of this whole situation, back in the 90's, Marvel Comics was in a bad way. Staring down the barrel of bankruptcy, those in charge began selling the movie rights to some of it's bigger properties such as Spider-man, the Fantastic Four, Hulk, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and the X-men. Why the Avengers were not a part of that sell-off I don't know; perhaps Marvel wanted to keep a piece of the puzzle for themselves or maybe the Avengers were just not that popular in the 90's... which they weren't. Seriously, the 90's were all about the X-men. Granted, if popularity was an issue, then I have no idea why Namor the Submariner was sold... that guy hasn't been popular since the 40's!

So fast forward to the present and Marvel is owned by Disney and making a butt-load of money off of what properties they do possess. While they have gotten back some of their character's movie rights, there are three major successful holdouts. Sony still possesses Spider-man (though there have been rumors that they have been negotiating with Disney to have the Webslinger cross over into the Marvel film universe... I hope that's true) and Fox still owns the rights to both the X-men and the Fantastic Four. Thanks to the success of the sort-of reboot Days of Future Past film from this past summer, the X-men don't seem to be leaving Fox anytime soon. However, the Fantastic Four is another story entirely.

Fox has been down the Fantastic Four movie road before, making two movies in the past decade that... well... sucked. They weren't without their plusses (as I have mentioned before, Michael Chiklis and Chris Evans were great as Thing and Human Torch), but compared to other comic book movies of the time (X-men 2, Batman Begins, Spider-man 2) they were definitely subpar. Now Fox is trying again for a reboot, this time creating the assumption that failure will bring with it their surrender of the film rights back to Marvel. Marvel of course wants this as the Fantastic Four are one of their biggest franchises, having driven their success by bridging the gap between the sci-fi popularity of the 50's and the superhero boom of the 60's. Plus, the Fantastic Four movie rights bring with it characters such as Silver Surfer, Galactus and Doctor Doom (and maybe the Skrull alien race, Annihilus and everything Negative Zone related... not sure about those though).

So getting back to my original point, the big rumor is that Marvel Comics has cancelled their Fantastic Four book to try to stick it to Fox, as not to advertise for them I guess. However, I have a problem with this rumor. It doesn't really make sense when you think about it. Comic book movies tend to bring attention to the comic. Proof of that can be seen in the resurgence of Iron Man's popularity after the 2008 film, the huge influx of Avengers books after the movie did phenomenally and the skyrocketed price of the original Days of Future Past issues from the Uncanny X-Men.

In general, comic books have far less readers than those who go to the theaters to see their film adaptations. From what I've heard, the Fantastic Four was recently only selling around 30,000 books a month, not great numbers. However, unless the rebooted Fantastic Four is a colossal, legendary flop, they are bound to get more than 30,000 people to buy tickets to see it. Frankly, I doubt it could flop on that level considering that the 're-imagined' origins and all around mystery surrounding the film is bound to create some curiosity from the masses. (That said, I wonder if the curious moviegoers would largely be comic book fans themselves as the casual viewer, those that really make or break the success of a subsequent film adaptation, would likely not care about revamped origins and such.) While the film may be at serious risk of not making enough of a profit after budget expenses, the movie is more than likely going to get more viewers than the comic book had buyers. Therefore, cancelling the Fantastic Four comic book would only really be hurting Marvel. I mean, they already don't advertise their character movies produced by Sony or Fox.

Now I am inclined to boycott the new Fantastic Four movie as I would rather the rights revert to Marvel... a company that I think could actually make a good adaptation of the franchise. Plus, it seems weird to have their movie space universe without Silver Surfer or Galactus. However, I do like the actors Fox and director Josh Trank have chosen for their reboot. I don't know if I like them as the Fantastic Four characters, but I think Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Bell are all great actors in their own right. I also thought Trank did a good job directing Chronicle. I don't want them to fail, but at the same time the reboot sounds dumb (the Fantastic Four aren't explorers but government weapons?) and I think those involved will be just fine even if it does flop.

Is there truth to the rumor that Marvel has cancelled the Fantastic Four as a protest of Fox rebooting the on-screen franchise? Maybe. It was recently revealed in an interview with Chris Claremont that those writing the X-Men books are banned from creating new characters as it will give Fox film rights to those new characters. But Marvel knows better than to cancel their mutant books as it makes up a large sum of their sales. Perhaps one of Marvel's higher ups wanted to feel like the company had some power against Fox and that cancelling the Fantastic Four book might, however small, do some damage to the reboot and therefore be worth it.

Personally, I think Marvel cancelled the book because of poor sales and the hope that by creating a buzz around the cancellation, maybe interest can be rekindled in a property that in recent decades has struggled to maintain an audience. It worked when they "killed" Johnny Storm a few years back, so maybe by eliminating the entire team (not killing the characters mind you, just disbanding the team) they can do their own reboot of the book and gain a new following. That makes a lot more sense to me than Marvel cutting off it's nose to spite it's face. 

Toaster's Ramblings - Amazing Spider-Man 2 AKA the feature length trailer for The Sinister Six movie

So I have to level with you. This started out as a review of Amazing Spider-man 2, but it quickly devolved into a rambling session about Sony's plans for an expanded Spider-Man movie universe and how stupid the whole concept really is. I'm keeping spoilers to a minimum, but the review aspect of this entry gets a little murky at times. So... bear with me.

Like with a lot of flawed movies I watch, I didn't hate Amazing Spider-Man 2. However, as I watched that on-screen spectacle, there were these nagging thoughts that kept gnawing at me. Thoughts about how cartoonish Electro's origin was, how little time was being allotted to Harry Osborn and his transformation into Green Goblin, why this rebooted franchise is so obsessed with making Peter Parker's origin some kind of conspiracy theory and how at times Amazing Spider-Man 2 felt more like a feature length trailer for The Sinister Six.

I just want to say this right now on the oft chance that anyone from Hollywood is reading...

THE GOAL OF CREATING SEQUELS SHOULD NEVER TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER GOOD STORY-TELLING!

As I left the theater, those same nagging thoughts forced me to deconstruct what I just saw... and what I had just seen was an absolute mess that followed in the tragic footsteps of  X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Instead of giving us the best possible story they could, which in turn could have created new spin-off possibilities for the characters involved, we were treated to an overstuffed, flash over substance exhibition akin to throwing wet noodles at a wall to see what sticks... all to the tune hundreds of millions of dollars.

I get what's going on. Sony, like Warner Brothers and to a lesser extent Fox, has seen the incredible payload that Disney brought in from The Avengers and are salivating at the opportunity to create their own "movie universes" from the characters they hold film rights to. The problem is, Sony only has the Spider-man universe, which is actually a pretty small universe when you get right down to it. Warner Brothers, to their benefit, has film rights to all of the DC characters (though rather than take their time like Marvel Studios did, they prefer to just rush a Justice League movie right along). Fox, while only having rights to the Marvel mutants side of things, actually has an impressive amount of characters at their disposal. Given the nature of the X-men Universe, they can do tons of mutant films while never feeling the loss of web-slingers or Asgardians. But Sony doesn't have a big universe to work with.

Let's stop and think about what Sony gets with Spider-man. Obviously they get the Web-Head and all of his villains. They gets Catwoman Black Cat. They also get Venom and more than likely the other symbiotic characters like Carnage and maybe even Toxin. But other characters often associated with Spider-Man's world, like Daredevil, Punisher, Nova and pretty much all of his teammates from the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon are owned by Disney. So where is this super team going to come from? Oddly, Sony thinks the answer is The Sinister Six, a group of Spider-Man's villains who team up to take on the Web-slinger... not exactly what I picture as an answer to The Avengers and The Justice League.

Seriously, they want to make a movie where the bad guys are the protagonists. This could be a cool idea (i.e. the graphic novel of Wanted), except we've been set up to root against them already in previous Spidey flicks. Now if The Sinister Six were a penultimate Spider-Man movie where he has to fight them, and maybe get help from a few other characters (Black Cat? Venom?) it would be fine. However, every indication I have seen or read says that the movie will be about the villains, not Spider-Man. Hell, he might not even be in the movie! So... who do I root for? Who do they fight... other Spider-Man villains?

On a side note, I wonder how far the licensing to the Spider-Man film rights goes. It could be possible for Spidey to form an extremely lesser known team called The Outlaws made up of D-List Marvel characters such as Silver Sable, The Prowler and Rocket Racer. Not exactly The Avengers, but it would at least make more sense than The Sinister Six.

So getting back to Amazing Spider-Man 2, here are my overall thoughts. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were both great. I still think Garfield is the best Peter Parker/Spider-Man ever. I think Dane DeHaan made for a better Harry Osborn than James Franco did. This new brooding, paranoid and angry Harry Osborn truly seemed to be the outcome of a lifetime of bad parenting and neglect. Unfortunately, the filmmakers tried to do in a third of a movie what the previous films did over the course of a trilogy in making him the Green Goblin. Not to mention, Franco's Osborn had a far better reason for hating Spider-Man in believing the Wall-Crawler responsible for his father's death. DeHaan's Osborn's bratty reasoning, that Spider-Man refused to give him a sample of his blood, is weak sauce.

The effects for Electro were cool, coupled with Junkie XL's Dub Step soundtrack to his scenes. However, his character was stupid. Somebody pointed out that Max Dillon's origin is strikingly similar to The Riddler's from Batman Forever... a lonely man barely holding onto his sanity becomes the number one fan of a super hero until an accident makes him crazy and hell-bent on destroying the hero he once adored. But somehow they managed to make Electro more cartoony than Jim Carrey's Riddler, and considering that movie was from Joel Schumacher, that's saying something! Seriously, Max Dillon wanted to kill Spider-Man because the Web-Head forgot Max's name? At that point, couldn't Max Dillon have just been a sociopath, like evil for the sake of being evil? I could have at least bought that.

I also think it was weird how easily and quickly both Max Dillon and Harry Osborn took to brutally murdering people. It wasn't even a hard decision, nor was there a moment of regret. No other Spidey villain from the movies were straight up murderers on that level. The Lizard was a brutal monster, but Dr. Conners was no murderer himself and regretted the actions of his reptilian Mr. Hyde. In the previous trilogy, Green Goblin was an insane split personality that convinced Norman Osborn to kill. Dr. Octopus was warped by the AI of his tentacles, but still didn't set out to murder people unless only attempted to if they got in his way. Sandman was a repentant one-time killer (of Uncle Ben... ugh, I still hate that). Venom was a killer alien parasite that fed off of its host's negative thoughts, but I don't remember Eddie Brock actually killing anyone. I also don't think James Franco's Harry killed anyone. But in this movie, the meek Max Dillon immediately takes to killing people with no remorse. DeHaan's Harry Osborn is willing to kill (sending Electro to do that) to get what he wants without any development of his character to show us his capability to go that far. Yes, I know he was supposed to be dying, but it was from a disease that clearly doesn't kill you for decades! I don't see survival desperation being a sound reason for him to be willing to kill.

I also want to point out that the Rhino suit is stupid. I wanted to like it, but it's just impractical. Why would anyone make an armored combat suit that awkwardly runs on all fours? It looks terrible, its clunky and I don't see any corporation pouring money into it. An Iron Man suit? Hell yeah! But a weird, oversized rhinoceros where the occupant faces stomach down, hoping for the best while the suit charges at an opponent head-on? No thanks.

So, in closing, Amazing Spider-Man 2 was far more concerned with pumping out sequels and spin-offs than giving us a good movie with well developed characters. Like I said, I didn't hate the movie. It was entertaining enough to watch, had some cool fight sequences and some great banter from Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man. Where the franchise goes from here seems to be a Sinister Six movie and more than likely a third Spider-Man movie that will probably makes the same mistakes of the last Spider-Man 3 by forcing along the "venom" saga within a muddled plot full of other villains and Mary Jane Watson, seeing as how they cut her from this past movie due to time constraints. I had high hopes after the surprisingly good Amazing Spider-Man, but now it's clear that Sony is banking on the instant marketability of the character rather than making the best product they can.

You know, Batman is an instantly marketable character, but Chris Nolan didn't settle for 'good enough.' Instead he and Warner Brothers created The Dark Knight, an ingenius film... the only comic book adaptation I have ever seen receive four star reviews. Oh, and word of mouth kept that movie in theaters for months and placed it in the Top 5 highest grossing films of all time.

Just food for thought, Sony.

Amazing spider-man 2

the spider-cave , mecha rhino , and a lot things going boom.

Toaster's Ramblings... End of 2012 Edition

So 2012 is about to come to an end. In some ways it was a big year full of change and in other ways it is just the same old shit.

The Summer Olympics were the irritating waste of time they always are, essentially being a competition between the US and China for medals… how exciting. The United States went through the most annoying and vicious election season I have ever heard of and in the end… nothing really changed. In fact, our lawmakers are just as gridlocked now as they were last year and I don’t see that changing in 2013. Same old, same old.

Television was the same as always. Cable shows, while still better than network shows, remain under-appreciated in lieu of mind-numbing schlock like crime procedurals, high-end karaoke contests and reality shows about horrible people doing stupid things. A few shows ended such as Chuck, a show I seldom watched, and House, which if you ask me ended a few years too late. Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 showed us that there’s more to James Van Der Beek than Dawson and obscurity thereafter. Nothing really monumental happened on the small screen.

The Hollywood trend of exploiting comic books for blockbusters has continued in stride with The Avengers making a gajillion dollars (that’s a kadillion more than a fazillion!). Chris Nolen’s Dark Knight Trilogy ended in controversial style; people seem pretty divided on their feelings about The Dark Knight Rises.”  Sony gave Disney the middle finger by restarting their Spider-man franchise with a well received hit movie, thus ensuring Marvel Films will be without their figurehead web-slinging character for years to come.

However, Disney was able to console themselves by buying Star Wars in their latest bid to own every aspect of my childhood. (They don’t own Mattel yet, do they? I’m not sure I can handle a crossover with Mickey Mouse and He-Man!) Just as soon as the ink dried on the contract, Disney announced plans for Episodes 7 through 9, beginning with a projected release on 2015… the same year as Avengers 2. With all the money they make from those two movies, Disney will then buy the moon and build Lunar Disneyland or Disney Universe or something. (“The Happiest Place Orbiting Earth”)

Marvel Comics did their"not a reboot" called Marvel Now because, I suspect, all the good names were taken. Aside from bringing back the mutant population and a bunch of new X-Men and Avenger titles, I don't know what all is different. I will say that so far the Uncanny Avengers book is pretty good. The new Deadpool book co-written by comedian Brian Posehn is awesome. DC Comics continued the New 52, which isn't nearly so new. The luster of rebooting their entire universe is wearing away as the realities of throwing away decades of continuity are setting in.

We lost a lot of cool people this year, such as Ernest Borgnine, Jack Klugman, Ravi Shankar, Davy Jones, Maurice Sendak, Andy Griffith, Sherman Helmsley, Phyllis Diller and the first man to walk of the freakin’ moon Neil Armstrong! We need to stop letting these cool people die. Perhaps we can create some kind of cloning device and transfer aging celebrity brains into them or something. We can’t afford to lose the likes of William Shatner, Christopher Lee, Leonard Nemoy, Bob Barker or Stan Lee!

The music industry continued its slow death at the hands of the internet. Soon there will be no stores, only warehouses to send people packages they ordered online. And everything will be sent by pneumatic tubes and we will drink recycled urine and eat Soylent Green… IT’S PEOPLE I TELL YOU, PEOPLE! I still refuse to commit entirely to the MP3 downloadable music format. I still like CD’s. I like having a permanent hard copy of my music with song liners with lyrics and pictures. MP3 albums don’t seem real to me, probably because they aren’t tangible. I do download music pretty regularly, but its mainly stuff that I am sure I can’t find in stores or just the random individual song that I don’t want to buy the whole album to get.

Nintendo’s newest console, the Wii U, launched shortly before Thanksgiving. I’m still not sure anyone noticed. I got one for Christmas (from Lil’ Toaster) that is still sitting in it’s box, next to me, as I wait for a cord or something in the mail to hook it up to the HD TV. I don’t know. This is Tivo-Girl’s domain. I just sit around and look pretty.

I don’t know how well the Wii U will do versus Playstation and X-Box, but I don’t have a lot of faith in it’s success. For one thing, the advertising for the Wii U was abysmal! I swear, I didn’t see a commercial for the Wii U until the beginning of November two weeks before its release! Now I get that gamers are well informed of these things and I knew about it for a couple of years, but what about the casual gamers? Hell, what about getting the kids excited for it before Christmas? A $300 game system (for the basic unit) is something a kid has to work at with his/her parents (through summer at least) to convince them to pay that much to buy it for them, let alone any games!

On a personal level, 2012 has been a monumental year for me. In May, Tivo-Girl and I welcomed our first child… who (for the purposes of cyberspace) is known as Toaster Jr. or perhaps Little Toaster. Either one works, really. I will just refer to him anyway I feel like whenever I bring him up. Maybe someday I will call him ‘Little Ivan Drago’…but only if his first words are “I must break you.” From then on, naptime will be purely on a voluntary basis.

And as for Jonny Prophet… I imagine that he is still hard at work in his lair developing some sort of super weapon to destroy all birds. Thankfully, between surfing the web and the hundreds of cable channels at his fingertips, he’s usually too distracted to do anything more than send me videos of ostriches getting mauled by tigers or try to petition the nation of Australia to restart the Great Emu War.

Hopefully 2013 will be good… maybe less mediocre (beyond, of course, the whole baby being born thing). Anyways, have a Happy New Year… unless you are Chinese, then you have to wait a month. Or if you’re Hebrew and you already had yours in September... in which case, how is 5773 going for you?

Stay Strange this 2013.