Toaster's Ramblings - The Fantastic Flop!

It looks like I got my wish. The new Fantastic Four movie is a massive failure, likely to be remembered as the big budget flop of 2015, the worst major studio super hero film ever and a bomb on par with Lone Ranger and (sadly) John Carter. The big question is... now what?

As of right now, Twentieth Century Fox seems to be trying to push ahead with the planned sequel to Fantastic Four, despite the estimated $60 million loss and the overwhelmingly negative reviews (an incredible 9% on Rotten Tomatoes!). Nobody is sure if this is out of the stubborn will to force a square peg into a circle hole or if Fox just really wants to stick it to Marvel Studios. I think it might be a combination of both.

As I said before, Fox clearly wants to make their own 'super ensemble' film like Marvel's Avengers movies. They are hoping to have the Fantastic Four crossover in some bizarre fashion with the X-men... possibly to fight Galactus. Personally I think fighting the Shi'ar would be better, but the whole idea is sketchy to me. The two sides don't have much in common. The biggest crossover between the two teams that I know of in the comics involved Reed and Sue Richards' mutant son Franklin, a character that is a far way from even being born yet in the films, especially with the reboot.

I honestly think Fox should cut their losses and either outright sell the property or make a deal with Marvel Studios to co-own the movie rights to the Fantastic Four the way Sony and Marvel did with Spider-man. Selling the property could recoup the losses from this latest reboot folly, while a deal would potentially lead to a Fantastic Four film that works and still brings money to Fox. As a fan, I would be far more interested in a crossover with the Avengers than one with the X-men.

I think Fox is far better off just focusing on the mutants. There are hundreds of characters to choose from, many teams to create and many villains to face. Plus, as I said before, the mutants existing in their own world makes more sense anyway. Why would the public love Spider-man and Thor but fear Colossus and Iceman? That said, if a possible deal involved Marvel being able to use mutants, that could be amazing. Wolverine could join the Avengers! Deadpool could mess with every hero from Spider-man to Iron Man!

One critic's review brought up something that Fox should really consider. He asked whether moviegoers were actually eager to see a Fantastic Four film after the last two movies in 2005 and 2007. This is a really good question. I would also add, who is really excited for a movie where the Fantastic Four meets the X-men? It's like a bizarre Abbot & Costello experiment gone wrong. The Avengers works as an ensemble film because they are an established super team in the comics; people want to see big names like Captain America, Thor, Iron Man and Hulk team up and battle super villains. However, if people don't really want to see your Fantastic Four movie, why would they turn out in droves to see them alongside the X-men? Sure, you will likely get the crowd that was already going to see an X-men movie, but that isn't what Fox wants, now is it? They want their own Avengers-like cash cow where people will cram the theaters to see. But if people don't give a crap about the Fantastic Four, then Fox will be pretty much just showing us an X-men movie featuring four new mutants with the powers of super-stretching, invisibility, fire and being a big rock monster.

Yes, the argument can be made that Guardians of the Galaxy may not have had a big fan-base salivating over a live action film (for note: I was), but Marvel was well aware of this. They knew the risks, but placed faith in their script, the director and the finished product... all things that based on the rumors Fox never did. Plus, Guardians never took itself too seriously and preferred to be seen as a comedy-action film. Fox clearly wanted their Fantastic Four film to be a super-team version of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, something that doesn't really work with the source material.

I also want to point out that Marvel Films got lucky with Ant-man, another lesser known property that turned out to be a hit for them. If you recall, they had a falling out with their director and had to find a new one as well as do script rewrites. This often spells disaster, but Marvel was able to pull it off for the most part (Jonny and I think the movie was a little uneven at points). Now Marvel had the advantage of more time to work with, something Fox never gave themselves when forcing reshoots and edits to Fantastic Four. If Fox had given themselves another six months to a year, maybe the movie would have turned out better... maybe not.

As Jonny Prophet reminded me, after Amazing Spider-man 2 under-performed, Sony held firm to the idea of moving ahead with a Sinister Six movie, Amazing Spider-man 3 and a bunch of other spin-off movies. Less than a year later, Marvel Studios is having Spider-man make a cameo in Captain America: Civil War. Pride can be a difficult thing to swallow, but over time things can change. I definitely think it is in Fox's best interest to either sell the Fantastic Four film rights back to Marvel or at least cut a deal with them. They should just focus on making their mutant movie universe the best it can be and stop wasting time and money on a failed franchise. It's time to let go, Fox. It's just better for everyone that way... better for you, better for Marvel Films, better for the legendary comic book that deserves a great film franchise and better for the fans.

The 4 reasons I will NOT see the new Fantastic Four movie

In a week, the Fox's newest attempt at launching the Fantastic Four license will hit theaters. Despite seeing damn near every comic book adaptation on the big screen, I have decided not to see for four reasons. (And no, one of them is not that they cast a black guy as Johnny Storm.) They are as follows:

1. If the movie bombs, Fox will probably give up on the franchise and let the film rights revert back to Marvel. Let's face it, the Fantastic Four belong with Marvel. I feel like they have the best chance of making a successful adaptation of the team for the big screen. Much of my reasoning for not seeing this new Fantastic Four revolve around the benefits of Marvel getting the license back.

Do you really want to see a series of Fantastic Four films without the rest of the Marvel universe involved? Their universe becomes pretty limited after a while. They have the obligatory fights against Dr. Doom and Galactus. They get an ally in Silver Surfer. I hear Fox has already set up a sequel involving Mole Man (more on that later). Realistically, what more is there? Skrulls? Puppet Master? The Fantastic Four have many villains, but how many are really movie-level threats? I suppose with the Negative Zone you can have Annihilus and Blastaar. You get no interaction with Spider-man or the Inhumans (which debuted in the Fantastic Four comic). You have no epic brawl of Thing versus Hulk. No Illuminati. It's really just going to be Fox either trying to tell us the same stories they already did in the previous two Fantastic Four movies or attempting to make a lesser known villain a huge threat in a pretty limited world. Imagine the Skrull's "Secret Invasion" with just the Fantastic Four. Lame.

The biggest complaint against the Marvel films is that their villains tend to leave us wanting more. With the exception of Loki, who didn't really become his great self until the first Avengers film, most Marvel villains lack sufficient back-story, motivation and, as George R. R. Martin pointed out, they tend to be evil reverse versions of their heroic counterparts (Yellowjacket, Iron Monger, Venom). If the Fantastic Four goes back to Marvel, consider the villains that come with them! As I said before, you get Dr. Doom (possibly Marvel's greatest super villain), Galactus , Annihilus and, as we learned recently, Kang the Conquerer! (That last one really irritates Jonny and I; Kang is an Avengers villain!)

Also imagine the great storyline that could be done on film correctly! The coming of Galactus would be epic if the Avengers made a cameo to try in vain the stop him, or fight his herald Silver Surfer. In speaking of heralds, Marvel's space universe could also add other former heralds of Galactus like Terrax, Firelord (who was originally a member of the Nova Corps.), Morg, and Tyrant! Assuming the Skrulls are part of the Fantastic Four license (I had heard a rumor that they were part of the X-men for some reason) they would help expand Marvel's space universe. Also, can you imagine how awesome an epic movie adapted from the Annihilation storyline would be?

2. Fox doesn't really care if you like the film or not. This is a bold claim, I know, but look at the facts. Long before anyone even saw a trailer of the new Fantastic Four movie, Fox had green lit a sequel. That's right, a controversial reboot to a franchise of mediocre films with lackluster reviews got a sequel before the public even saw a second of footage. See, Fox wants to make the kind of bank Avengers has made for Disney. They want to expand their mutant movie-verse to include the Fantastic Four and eventually make some sort of bizarre crossover film. The dollar signs in their eyes have blinded them to the fact that fans are leery of the new film and it's direction. Instead of letting the fans judge for themselves, Fox has clearly decided that they don't need movie-goers to approve of the new movie. The sequel was approved before the this new movie was even completed! Does that sound like a movie studio that respects the opinions of viewers or one that just assumes comic book fans will watch anything superhero related that are thrown their way?  And apparently what is being thrown our way is a movie about Mole Man... yawn.

3. The new Fantastic Four movie looks a hell of a lot like the previous one. Just by going off of the trailer, it seems like the only real differences between the current reboot and the last reboot are as follows: The team gets their powers in another dimension, not outer space; instead of going public as superhero celebrities the government captures them; Doom is a hacker or something dumb like that and the cast is a bit younger... mostly.

What looks the same to me? The film tells the origin story of 5 people (the future Fantastic Four and a fifth guy who becomes Dr. Doom) that do a science experiment that goes wrong, giving them powers. While the Fantastic Four have to come to grips with their new lives, powers and being different, the fifth guy goes all evil and becomes a threat to the whole world, or at least New York City. Realizing only they can stop him, the four band together to face Doom. However, Doom's lightning based powers give the team a run for their money until they learn to work together to defeat him and thus the Fantastic Four is born.

Sounds pretty familiar, right? For as different and unique as the movie wants to claim to be, it sure looks similar to the last origin film. I guess if you loved the last films, this is right up your alley. For me, the trailers just show that Fox gave the same old jalopy a paint job. Here, look for yourself:

 

While the new one looks less hokey, the plot seems very similar and the dialogue is just as stiff and wooden as the 2005 version. Even the Human Torch's lines aren't as funny. 

4. Doom looks like crap! Yes, this is a reason unto itself. Dr. Doom is one of my all-time favorite villains, yet on film he comes across hokey, weak and looks about as threatening as a poodle. This new version of Doom looks worse than the predecessors! He looks like terrible cosplay! Hell, if it was cosplay, I doubt I would even recognize that it's supposed to be Dr. Doom! It looks like they took a scrawny guy, wrapped him in dirty tin foil! Just look:

bad ass

Are you friggin' kidding me?

Victor Von Doom is supposed to be a massive threat. He runs his own nation as a dictator. His genius parallels Reed Richards, making him a master of all things science related, but her also became a master in the mystical dark arts! In this movie, his real name is Victor Domashev or something like that. I guess he's a computer hacker that goes by the screen name of Doom. So there's your lesson kids... internet trolls are only one botched experiment from being super villains. If only all super hero movies took such liberties with beloved, time-honored characters.

How about if Iron Man was actually a cyborg from the future come to save Tony Stark but merges with him to save the Stark's life after an explosion or something? What if Thor was a lonely emo kid that built himself a hammer for some reason that one night, during a thunderstorm, was struck by lightning and it gained super powers, so the emo kid fashioned a costume based on the Norse god. Maybe Batman should be the result of a horrible experiment where a bat was given irradiated stem cells and grew to become an anthropomorphic mutant "bat man" that has to learn to live among humans. Oh, and the scientist in charge of the experiment? He splices his genes with that of a hyena and becomes The Joker! Why the fuck not?

Usually I try to refrain judgment on a movie without having seen it, but in this case I am making the exception. I will not be paying to see the new Fantastic 4 movie. Maybe I'll watch it on Netflix or cable, but I don't want to give Fox the money so they can continue to butcher the franchise and lord it over Marvel's heads. I want the new movie to fail, I want the license to go back to Marvel and I want good Fantastic Four movies with an awesome Dr. Doom and a space universe with Galactus and Silver Surfer and Skrulls.

I just hope there are enough people who feel the way I do to make it happen.

Toaster's Ramblings - The Convergance of the Secret Wars (or How Marvel and DC Had the Same Summer Event)

It seems that Marvel and DC both have pretty much run the same storyline event for the summer. Both Secret Wars and Convergence deal with time and reality getting smashed together into a jumbled mess of different characters from different worlds, where they all fight and eventually everything gets (sort of but not really) rebooted. I do find it amusing that DC has had the New 52 around less than five years and already needs to do a "soft" reboot. (A soft reboot, by the way, is when some parts of a universe get a fresh start while others continue on as normal.) Now maybe it was just a coincidence that both comic companies ran similar events, but I doubt it. Marvel has apparently been working on Secret Wars for five years, while reviews suggest that Convergence felt rushed in many ways. DC probably got wind of what Marvel was planning and set out to do their own version and release it a few months early (Convergence started this past Spring and is already over. Secret Wars is currently ongoing.)

Honestly, I haven't been following either event. Five dollars an issue for Secret Wars is too much, I would rather wait for a trade edition. As for DC, I'm pretty much done with them. Not only have I grown to hate the New 52, but DC decided to implement a new way of placing advertising into their comic books...

DC You? More like DC... You Suck!

Yeah, so as long as that ridiculous shit is going on, I'm out. If Marvel does it too, I'll be done with them as well. I don't mind a page add, or even a two-page add, but I will not share comic book art and storyline on the same page as an advertisement. That's bullshit. Not only does it take you out of the story, but it is disrespectful to the very medium of comic book art. Imagine if instead of specific commercial breaks on television, commercials randomly play in the middle of your show. Let's say you're watching CW's Arrow and Ollie is about to fight Deathstroke and just as the first punch is thrown, we cut to a Clearasil commercial, then go back to the punch in mid-swing. It would kind of piss you off, now wouldn't it? Well, split-page ads piss me off just the same way.

I don't really know what the post-Convergence DC universe looks like, but the Marvel one is interesting. First of all, much of the pre-Secret Wars developments remain intact. Falcon is still the new Captain America and Steve Rogers is still old. Thor is still a woman (Jane Foster). Wolverine is still dead. The Fantastic Four, as a team, is also dead with Human Torch hanging out with the Inhumans and Thing the new pilot for the Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not really sure where Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman will end up, though the latter was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. before the event.

The list of the post-Secret Wars title launches has been released and while some really don't interest me at all, others are quite intriguing. Here are my thoughts on the upcoming books:

A-Force #1 - AKA the "female Avengers." Seems a little on the nose to me. "You want more gender diversity? Have an entire book of woman Avengers!" It almost borderlines on gimmicky to me. I will say that there seem to be far more women Avengers than their were in the 90's when most seemed to be female versions of popular male heroes (She-Hulk, Spider-woman), but that may just be due to the fact that in the last 10 years, EVERYONE seems to be an Avenger. I also wonder, who will a team of female Avengers fight? Will they face female villains? How many female villains does Marvel have that are an Avengers level threat? I might thumb through the first issue to see what this book is like, but I don't expect much.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - I don't watch the show, why would I read the comic?

All-New All-Different Avengers #1 - I might actually get a subscription to this one. I like the younger line-up of Nova (Sam Alexander), Ms. Marvel and Spider-man (Miles Morales) contrasted with veterans like "Falcon America," Jane Foster Thor, Iron Man and Vision. It has a Young Justice vibe to it.

All-New Wolverine #1 - While it's interesting that X-23 is the new Wolverine, I doubt I will buy the book.

All-New X-Men #1-  So are they still the original X-men from the 60's (or whenever they're supposed to come from, something tells me the present Cyclops isn't in his mid-50's)? I don't know. I didn't read the book before and I'm pretty sure I won't read it now. It seems like the novelty of young versions running around with their older counterparts would have worn off by now.

Amazing Spider-Man #1 - I'm guessing this is the Peter Parker Spider-man since Miles Morales has the non-adjective Spider-man book. I don't know... I might look at it. Maybe it will be unique. I doubt I will buy it, though.

Angela: Asgard’s Assassin #1 - I liked when Angela was time-displaced and hung out with the Guardians of the Galaxy, having a friendly rivalry with Gamora. Then for some reason it was revealed she was Asgardian... which is weird. I guess Marvel wanted to start over with her back-story, but I would have preferred that she is the same character from Spawn that now is stuck in the 616 universe... and occasionally alludes to her former life. I'm just not sure I care about her as Asgard's assassin... the Asgardians already have Sif and the Jane Foster Thor... I might flip through the book, but I doubt I will be impressed.

Ant-Man #1 - Never been much of an Ant-man fan. The whole shrinking thing never seemed that useful unless you are evil (like Atomica in Forever Evil). Then you can scramble people's brains or enter their body and grow to normal size so your victim pops like a balloon. But commanding an army of ants? Um... I guess you could get them to bring you all the loose change on the ground for miles around. I guess there are actual uses in espionage, but I never really cared. I doubt I will pick up this book.

Captain Marvel #1 - I'm glad that Carol Danvers is getting her due as Marvel's elite super heroine. However, I haven't read any of her books so far. Not sure if I will start here, either.

Carnage #1 - I don't get the point of this one. Is Carnage still a serial killing monster or are they trying to make him a hero now? Either way, I'm not sure it will work as an ongoing series.

Contest of Champions #1 - Place your bets now about how long this book will last! If the writer's are smart, there will be an end point, like with Avengers Arena. This is not a premise that will last long.

Daredevil #1 - I might flip through this book. I loved the Netflix series (who didn't?) and am curious if Marvel will try to make the comic more like the show. I think Daredevil is in serious need of new villains, good new villains. Most of his villains are lame. They can't just keep going back to Kingpin and Bullseye. Like I said, I will give it a once over, but I'm not expecting much.

Deadpool #1 - I like Deadpool and as such will probably get this book. The writers, however, have big shoes to fill. The previous volume's writing team, including comedian Brian Posehn, made a really good run full of hilarity, some genius moments (the various "lost" throwback issues of Daredevil from decades past), and a great supporting crew including ghost Ben Franklin.

Doctor Strange #1 - Maybe the film will give me new appreciation for the Sorceror Supreme, but it won't be in time for me to start reading this book.

Drax #1 - I will check this book out for one reason... former WWE star CM Punk is co-writing. It doesn't guarantee that the book will be any good, but like with any celebrity writer, it's worth a look.

Extraordinary X-Men #1 - Good news... in addition to being Uncanny, All-New, All-Different, Extreme and Astonishing, the X-men are also Extraordinary. It has an interesting line-up with Colossus, Iceman, Jean Grey (from the past), Nightcrawler (whom I thought was dead), Magik, Storm and Old Man Logan... because Marvel is really serious about Wolverine staying dead. Will Jean Grey discuss with the Iceman of the present about how his past version is gay? Only time will tell. I might glance at this book, but I'm not expecting anything "extraordinary." (see what I did there? I'm clever.)

Guardians of the Galaxy #1 - I was reading the previous run and loved the Abnett/Lanning run that has inspired a new age for Marvel's space universe and renewed love for many forgotten characters. (Ten years ago, did you think you would see a movie starring Star-Lord? Did you even know who the hell Star-Lord was? My point exactly.) Brian Michael Bendis is still writing this new volume, but I guess now Rocket Raccoon is the leader and Thing is the new pilot. And Star-Lord is a woman. I'm game, why not?

Hawkeye #1 - The only time I ever read a Hawkeye book was when he led The Thunderbolts way back when. I'm okay with leaving it that way. If I need my bow and arrow fix, CW's got me covered.

Howard the Duck #1 - Um... no.

Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1 - This one will be among the first wave of cancellations, mark my words. Unless they go back in time to fight Nazis with the real Howling Commandos... that I would check out.

Illuminati #1 - What is the purpose of a book about the elitist secret club of Marvel? Do they fight as a team? Are they a team? Do I care? I can answer one of those questions.

Invincible Iron Man #1 - I might glance at this book. Here's the thing, I love the movie version of Tony Stark, because Robert Downey Jr. gives the character a great deal of wit and fast comedic timing, because if not for those, let's be honest, we would all think Tony Stark was a self-righteous prick. Well, the Tony Stark of the comics, even after the debut of the first Iron Man movie, is a self-righteous prick. However, I did enjoy Tony Stark during his brief tenure with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Why? Because Brian Michael Bendis writes Tony as witty and fun. So, since he's writing this book, I will give it a look.

Karnak #1 - The only reason I'm going to check out this book is because Warren Ellis is the writer. I expect I'm not the only one who shares that sentiment.

The Mighty Thor #1 - Is this still Jane Foster Thor? That's cool. I didn't read her book before Secret Wars, why mess with success?

Ms. Marvel #1 - I missed the boat on this book. I've heard great things and will probably check out trades of the previous volume. As such, I might thumb through this new volume.

New Avengers #1 - Not sure why they didn't just call this A.I.M.: Avengers Idea Mechanics. This line-up is crazy. The team is led by Sunspot and features Wiccan, Hulkling, Squirrel-girl, Hawkeye, Power Man, White Tiger and Songbird. I may have to check this book out based on the line-up alone. However, I am not confident on this book's success.

Nova #1 - I love Nova. I was a fan of Richard Ryder. I came to love Sam Alexander was well. The cover of this new book shows Sam in his Black Nova get-up with an adult dressed in classic Nova Corp attire. My question is... is that adult Sam's dad or Ryder back from the dead? (Really hoping for the latter.) This is one book I will be picking up.

Old Man Logan #1 - So what, is Old Man Logan now in the 616 Marvel universe? Do I care? Not really.

Sam Wilson, Captain America #1 - I'll be honest, the only time I ever gave a shit about Falcon was in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I don't really get why he is Captain America. Does he have the Super Soldier Serum? Otherwise he's Falcon with a shield. I'm still not really giving a shit.

Silk #1 - I know nothing about this character except she is somehow connected to the "Spider-verse" which I guess is a thing now. Is their also a Hawkeye-verse and a Paste-Pot Pete-verse?

Scarlet Witch #1 - I've never been a big Scarlet Witch fan, so... yeah.

Spider-Gwen #1 - She's got a following, but I've never read anything about the alternate reality Gwen that got powers. It's still part of the Spider-verse. I want to read a book about the Groot-verse!

Spider-Man #1 - I think it's cool that Miles Morales will be the main Spider-man after Secret Wars. He's a great character that allows Marvel to explore Spider-man in high school again without resorting to deals with Mephisto or de-aging Peter Parker. Best of all, Miles' creator, Brain Michael Bendis, is writing the book. I might check this book out... partly to know how Miles came to be in the 616 universe when Parker is still alive (unless he's the same from the Ultimate universe and just "displaced"). I'm not always on board with Bendis, but he does to Spider-man really well.

Spider-Man 2099 #1 - Way back in the day I actually had a subscription of Spider-man 2099 mailed to my house (the town I was raised in was without a comic shop of it's own). The book was only okay, primarily for a lack of great, memorable villains. I mean, Spider-man has the best rogues gallery of any hero in the Marvel universe, yet his counter-part from a hundred years in the future really didn't have many to speak of. I'm actually having a tough time remembering any beyond 2099 versions of Vulture and Venom. There was a cyborg bounty hunter whose name escapes me and some guy named Thanatos that looked like a Roman gladiator (no, his skin wasn't purple, I don't think he had anything to do with that Thanos). I think the new book takes place in the 616 universe, so I guess he can borrow current Spider-man villains. I doubt I'll read the book... I might flip through it out of curiosity. I like his costume at least.

Spider-Woman #1 - Never cared for Spider-woman. I'll pass.

Squadron Supreme #1 - I might check this one out. It could be interesting... or it could be a waste of time. It's a real toss-up.

Star-Lord #1 - Why is Star-Lord a woman? I thought I saw cover art that showed the character with a feminine body. But then I saw another where he was wearing his trademark mask while wearing an astronaut outfit and a "Quill" name badge... so I have no idea what is going on. I might flip through the book to see if they answer it, but I doubt I'll care enough to buy the comic.

The Totally Awesome Hulk #1 - Is the Hulk "totally awesome" now? He has been Incredible and Invincible and... red. Why is he awesome? I guess he may be someone other than Bruce Banner. After Red Hulk, Skaar, A-Bomb, She-Hulk and Red She-Hulk, that's just what we needed. As long as he's "totally awesome."

Web Warriors #1 - So it's another book based on the Spider-verse, but this time loosely affiliated with a cartoon? I don't get it.

Ultimates #1 - So it's a book with nothing to do with the Ultimate universe. It's just an Avengers book under a different name. It has Black Panther, the current Captain Marvel, the past Captain Marvel (Monica Rambeau) as Spectrum, and Blue Marvel... a character that a month ago I had never heard of. Might glance at it, but I am doubtful I'll buy it. 

Uncanny Avengers #1 - So this book is kind of odd for me. Initially, I loved the book. It fulfilled that craving I had for super teams fighting massive threats, first with the Red Skull, then against the Apocalypse Twins. Then, the book got weird. Havok, one of my favorite X-men, got disfigured... like on a Two-Face level. Wolverine lost his healing factor and would soon be dead, Steve Rogers was old, Rogue had absorbed Wonder Man... then after the Red Onslaught storyline, the entire line-up changed (save for Scarlet Witch and Rogue). I wanted to like the new line-up. It had Quicksilver, whom I haven't read in a book since X-Factor and there was Sabretooth, seeking redemption. However, the team focused all of it's time fighting the High Evolutionary... a character I've never really cared for. Plus, we were treated to the old Avengers soap opera from back in the day that led to my hating the book and team... the bizarre love triangle (obligatory New Order reference) of Scarlet Witch, Vision and Wonder Man. Ugh... so stupid. This new book once again has a new line-up adding Spider-man, Human Torch, some new chick named Synapse and Deadpool. I will give the book another shot.

Uncanny Inhumans #1 - I've never been huge on the Inhumans. I like them as part of the overall Marvel universe, but not for their own stories and drama. I doubt I will get this book.

Uncanny X-Men #1- This is a book that intrigues me. It has Magneto leading a team with Psylocke, Mystique, Fantomex and Sabretooth... with some other as yet to be revealed mutants. It's like a Brotherhood of Mutants team under the X-men banner. I will definitely check this one out.

Venom: Spaceknight #1 - I doubt this book will last. Despite the popularity of the character, a Venom-centric book has never been a big hit. I do like the reinvention of the character with host Flash Thompson. Instead of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, this is apparently continuing his space adventures since joining the Guardians of the Galaxy. But what's this "spacknight" thing? Is that like Rom the Spaceknight? It might be interesting, but I have my doubts about the book's future. I will give it a once-over however.

The Vision #1 - Remember how I said I was never a Scarlet Witch fan? The same applies to Vision. The two of them made an awful soap opera storyline for so long... I hated the Avengers for years because of them. 

So yeah. I will have some new Marvel comics to check out and will avoid DC like the plague.  Time will tell whether this will improve the Marvel Universe, or make it more convoluted, or have no effect at all. I'm just glad they haven't gone the New 52 route and rebooted everything. I think at that point I just would have been done with comics... except indies. Come to think of it, I should check out indie books more often. Valiant's been looking pretty good lately. 

Until next time, Stay Strange!

Toaster's Ramblings

Warning: I have many things to ramble about, so this may be a little scatterbrained.

A while back I was given a Nintendo E-shop card from my brother for Christmas or birthday, I forget which since my B-day is only eleven days after Christmas. Anyways, I decided to put this toward the downloadable characters that Nintendo was designing for Super Smash Bros. Wii U. So a little less than two weeks ago I decided to buy the characters for both Wii U and my 3DS. My first discovery was that because of tax, my $20 card wouldn't be able to buy all four characters of Mewtwo, Roy, Lucas and Ryu. So I bought Mewtwo, Roy, both of whom I had sorely missed since Melee, as well as Ryu (including the exclusive Ryu battlestage). I wasn't not going to buy Ryu! I decided to wait on Lucas as he was really just a more unpredictable clone of Ness.

On Tuesday I picked up another $20 Nintendo E-shop card. My main objective was to put the classic Yoshi puzzle game onto my 3DS, a game that previously had only been available for the original Gameboy. I had figured that the remaining balance would be accessible on my Wii U, I mean it should be all under one account, right? Well, apparently not. Somehow, and for some dumbass reason, both work as separate accounts. So to get Lucas and anything else for Smash Brothers, I have to buy yet another E-shop card. Kind of ridiculous. The only silver lining is that there are lots to games to download for the 3DS to use the rest of that card. I added Dr. Mario and Mega Man 6 to the 3DS, so that's cool... I guess. It just seems stupid that the E-shop is not exactly user friendly and work separate from both systems.

Moving on, the title of the sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy was revealed. It will be called: Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2!!!!!!!!!!! (note: exclamation marks used for sarcastic effect) What an underwhelming title. Look at the names of some of the other sequels from Marvel... The Dark World, The Winter Soldier, The Age of Ultron, Civil War. Their are numerous titles from comics that the Guardians of the Galaxy could have borrowed (in the same was Age of Ultron didn't really follow the storyline of the same name from the books). I'm avoiding Annihilation as I doubt Marvel can use Annihilus and one shouldn't be used without the other, but Guardians of the Galaxy 2 could have had subtitles like Conquest, War of Kings, Realm of Kings, or there could have been an original title. I get that Volume 2 references Star Lord's mix tapes, but generally the term "volume" suggests a new start, like in comics when a series ends and is picked up later with an issue one. The end of the first Guardians movie really had just established them as a team, which would lead to the next storyline, not a rebirth. For example, the recent run of Deadpool ended with the beginning of the Secret Wars event. Once that event is over, a new series of Deadpool will begin, hence a new volume.

So when it was revealed that the part of Ma Kent in Man of Steel would be played by Diane Lane, it weirded me out a little. I think that, for a woman her age, Diane Lane is very attractive. But I have never ever considered that I would think Ma Kent was attractive. It was odd. So fast forward to a few days ago when it was announced that the Marvel/Sony Spider-man reboot had found it's Aunt May... Marisa Tomei! What the hell? First of all, Marisa Tomei is not that old. She's only 50! Also, not that long ago, Tomei was in The Wrestler where she was topless and still quite sexy. So... now Aunt May is sexy? That disturbs me. Aunt May is supposed to be a sweet old woman, sort of like Ma Kent. You know, come to think of it I've seen Diane Lane topless... many years ago, but still, by proxy I have seen both Ma Kent and Aunt May topless! Aaargh! What the hell is going on?!? The Raimi Spider-man trilogy had Rosemary Harris as Aunt May and she seemed right for the part. Sally Field was younger, but she's at least in her 60's. But again, Marisa Tomei is only in 50! She is not elderly yet! Essentially, Peter went off to live with his hot aunt.

A while back I touched upon the topic of Marvel and Disney cancelling their Fantastic Four books to try to stick it to Fox for still retaining the film rights to the property, I guess so there would be no inadvertent advertising on Marvel's part. Well, the plot has thickened some on that count. XM Studios, a company out of Singapore that sculpts high end collectable statues, was asked by Marvel to put a "hard stop" to all X-men and Fantastic Four related statues they were working on. So my question is, how far will this go? Does it extend to action figures. What about Heroclix... it's been many years since we received Fantastic Four Heroclix pieces. It doesn't appear that Marvel is releasing any new Fantastic Four series after their Secret Wars event; in fact, they appear to be splitting up the team. The Thing is the pilot for the Guardians of the Galaxy, Human Torch is with the Inhumans... I assume Invisible Woman is still with S.H.I.E.L.D. and I have no idea what their doing with Mr. Fantastic. Not sure if the X-men are getting the embargo treatment. I haven't seen action figures of them much lately, but we do get some Heroclix of them. They will also have a few new comic book series after Secret Wars as well.

While I want Marvel to get the film rights back to the Fantastic Four, I have mixed feelings about their embargo strategy. Will it make any impact at all (considering the majority of movie-goers do not read comic books) or is it really just "cutting off their nose to spite their face?" Doing that with the Fantastic Four is obviously much easier than banning all X-men related books. Fantastic Four's popularity is minimal these days while the mutants still make up a big chuck of Marvel's profits. At the same time, it's messed up that outside of the books themselves, all X-men merchandising seems to be at risk of being cut off. A long-time X-men fan (Uncanny X-men was the book that got me into comics in the first place), I would be pissed to not receive any more new X-men related Heroclix as long as Fox holds the rights. Let's face it... it's doubtful that Fox will ever lose the rights to the X-men. It makes them too damn much money! X-men First Class proved they don't even need Wolverine to sell a film! Until the public gets sick of comic book movies, which may be coming sooner rather than later, and Fox no longer brings a profit from X-men movies, the mutants aren't going anywhere. That's okay with me... Marvel doesn't need the X-men as much as they need the Fantastic Four and more importantly the universe (Skrulls, Kang, Annihilus, Galactus, Dr. Doom, Silver Surfer) they bring with them.

Finally I want to point out another reason why Dave Grohl is awesome. The Foo Fighters frontman recently broke his leg in a stage accident, so to complete the tour, he had a throne made for himself to rock out in... the rock n' roll equivalent of The Iron Throne from Game of Thrones! Replacing swords are guitars and those black things lining the top? Laser projectors. Further proof Dave Grohl is the man! 

Until next time, Stay Strange

Toaster's Ramblings - Marvel Cancels the Fantastic Four Edition

By now, those of us in the geek world are well aware that Marvel Comics has cancelled their Fantastic Four book. The reasoning for this seems to be causing a bit of a stir. While the book sales have been low, they weren't as low as some other books in Marvel's line-up. This has lead many to speculate that Marvel, under the command of their mouse-eared overlords, are trying to stick it to Fox, which owns the movies rights to the Fantastic Four.

For those unclear of this whole situation, back in the 90's, Marvel Comics was in a bad way. Staring down the barrel of bankruptcy, those in charge began selling the movie rights to some of it's bigger properties such as Spider-man, the Fantastic Four, Hulk, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and the X-men. Why the Avengers were not a part of that sell-off I don't know; perhaps Marvel wanted to keep a piece of the puzzle for themselves or maybe the Avengers were just not that popular in the 90's... which they weren't. Seriously, the 90's were all about the X-men. Granted, if popularity was an issue, then I have no idea why Namor the Submariner was sold... that guy hasn't been popular since the 40's!

So fast forward to the present and Marvel is owned by Disney and making a butt-load of money off of what properties they do possess. While they have gotten back some of their character's movie rights, there are three major successful holdouts. Sony still possesses Spider-man (though there have been rumors that they have been negotiating with Disney to have the Webslinger cross over into the Marvel film universe... I hope that's true) and Fox still owns the rights to both the X-men and the Fantastic Four. Thanks to the success of the sort-of reboot Days of Future Past film from this past summer, the X-men don't seem to be leaving Fox anytime soon. However, the Fantastic Four is another story entirely.

Fox has been down the Fantastic Four movie road before, making two movies in the past decade that... well... sucked. They weren't without their plusses (as I have mentioned before, Michael Chiklis and Chris Evans were great as Thing and Human Torch), but compared to other comic book movies of the time (X-men 2, Batman Begins, Spider-man 2) they were definitely subpar. Now Fox is trying again for a reboot, this time creating the assumption that failure will bring with it their surrender of the film rights back to Marvel. Marvel of course wants this as the Fantastic Four are one of their biggest franchises, having driven their success by bridging the gap between the sci-fi popularity of the 50's and the superhero boom of the 60's. Plus, the Fantastic Four movie rights bring with it characters such as Silver Surfer, Galactus and Doctor Doom (and maybe the Skrull alien race, Annihilus and everything Negative Zone related... not sure about those though).

So getting back to my original point, the big rumor is that Marvel Comics has cancelled their Fantastic Four book to try to stick it to Fox, as not to advertise for them I guess. However, I have a problem with this rumor. It doesn't really make sense when you think about it. Comic book movies tend to bring attention to the comic. Proof of that can be seen in the resurgence of Iron Man's popularity after the 2008 film, the huge influx of Avengers books after the movie did phenomenally and the skyrocketed price of the original Days of Future Past issues from the Uncanny X-Men.

In general, comic books have far less readers than those who go to the theaters to see their film adaptations. From what I've heard, the Fantastic Four was recently only selling around 30,000 books a month, not great numbers. However, unless the rebooted Fantastic Four is a colossal, legendary flop, they are bound to get more than 30,000 people to buy tickets to see it. Frankly, I doubt it could flop on that level considering that the 're-imagined' origins and all around mystery surrounding the film is bound to create some curiosity from the masses. (That said, I wonder if the curious moviegoers would largely be comic book fans themselves as the casual viewer, those that really make or break the success of a subsequent film adaptation, would likely not care about revamped origins and such.) While the film may be at serious risk of not making enough of a profit after budget expenses, the movie is more than likely going to get more viewers than the comic book had buyers. Therefore, cancelling the Fantastic Four comic book would only really be hurting Marvel. I mean, they already don't advertise their character movies produced by Sony or Fox.

Now I am inclined to boycott the new Fantastic Four movie as I would rather the rights revert to Marvel... a company that I think could actually make a good adaptation of the franchise. Plus, it seems weird to have their movie space universe without Silver Surfer or Galactus. However, I do like the actors Fox and director Josh Trank have chosen for their reboot. I don't know if I like them as the Fantastic Four characters, but I think Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Bell are all great actors in their own right. I also thought Trank did a good job directing Chronicle. I don't want them to fail, but at the same time the reboot sounds dumb (the Fantastic Four aren't explorers but government weapons?) and I think those involved will be just fine even if it does flop.

Is there truth to the rumor that Marvel has cancelled the Fantastic Four as a protest of Fox rebooting the on-screen franchise? Maybe. It was recently revealed in an interview with Chris Claremont that those writing the X-Men books are banned from creating new characters as it will give Fox film rights to those new characters. But Marvel knows better than to cancel their mutant books as it makes up a large sum of their sales. Perhaps one of Marvel's higher ups wanted to feel like the company had some power against Fox and that cancelling the Fantastic Four book might, however small, do some damage to the reboot and therefore be worth it.

Personally, I think Marvel cancelled the book because of poor sales and the hope that by creating a buzz around the cancellation, maybe interest can be rekindled in a property that in recent decades has struggled to maintain an audience. It worked when they "killed" Johnny Storm a few years back, so maybe by eliminating the entire team (not killing the characters mind you, just disbanding the team) they can do their own reboot of the book and gain a new following. That makes a lot more sense to me than Marvel cutting off it's nose to spite it's face. 

Toaster's Ramblings - Fantastic Four Reboot Edition

I'm going to come right out and say it... I want the new Fantastic Four movie to fail. I want it to bomb hard. Why? Because if it bombs hard enough, Fox will abandon the franchise, focus entirely on the mutants of the X-men universe and the Fantastic Four film license reverts to Marvel and Disney! Oh, that will be grand day. Not only will Marvel be able to resurrect the "first family of comics" in the same world as The Avengers, but then they get such characters as Dr. Doom, Galactus, Silver Surfer and whatever other villains are part of the deal (Annihilus? Blastaar? Skrulls? Other heralds of Galactus?)

That said, it would appear Fox is making my wish come true. The new casting of the Fantastic Four is just weird. The reboot is directed by Josh Trank, whose super powered teen thriller Chronicle gives him some level of credit to helm a major comic book movie. But from there things get a little... weird. The first news was that he wanted one of his actors from Chronicle, Michael B. Jordan (from acclaimed series like The Wire, Parenthood and Friday Night Lights), to play the part of Johnny Storm AKA The Human Torch. Jordan is an African-American. I don't want to whine about how a black guy can't play the role of a traditionally white character and to his credit, Michael B. Jordan is one of my favorite young actors. I'm sure he would do a good job as Human Torch. But I don't know if various fanboys will agree with the casting. Enough bitching and negative word of mouth could sink this film before it's even shot.

The rest of the casting is just as puzzling to me. Kate Mara (sister of the "American" Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) is set to play Sue Storm, the invisible woman. Based on her credentials of House of Cards, 127 Hours and the television show Jack & Bobby, I assume she can act, but I've never really seen her in anything. I do know that there's going to have to be some sort of adopted or step-brother reasoning for the black and white brother/sister pairing, but whatever. Plus, she'll probably do well to go blonde since Sue Storm is in the comics. But that's no biggie.

Miles Teller is cast as Reed Richards, who as Mister Fantastic leads the quartet of adventuring superheroes. This one makes me scratch my head. His previous work suggests that he mainly appears in raunchy "party" comedies like 21 & Older and Project X. His one work that looks artistic, The Spectacular Now, could give him some merit for such a role, except his character is apparently also a partier (I have never seen any of those movies by the way). I don't want to jump to conclusions that he will suck, because I honestly don't know. What I do know is that Reed Richards is a difficult character to write and portray for film. He is a brilliant man, a bit of an outcast, somewhat obsessed, and has a taste for adventure. He needs to come across as both a genius and a competent leader. He needs to make an audience believe that people would follow him (literally) into outer space or put on an outfit to fight crime. But he also can't come across boring, conceited, or obnoxious. Ioan Gruffudd didn't really pull off Reed Richards in the previous Fantastic Four movies, one of several reasons the franchise went bust. Time will tell is Miles Teller can make us believe everything I mentioned.

Lastly, Jamie Bell is (most likely) cast as Ben Grimm, who becomes the rocky brute known as The Thing. That one really makes me weary. One of 2 things that DID work in the previous FF movies was Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm/The Thing (For those keeping score, the second good thing from those two movies was future Captain America Chris Evans as Johnny Storm). I didn't like how The Thing looked, but Chiklis was the perfect Brooklyn accented tough guy. Jamie Bell is a British actor with a medium build. He's a good actor, having impressed me in the bizarre indie flick The Chumscrubber as well as playing a fellow teleporter with Hayden Christensen in Jumper. But I really don't know about him playing the big tough guy that Ben Grimm is supposed to be. Time will tell, but I just don't see it.

From there, information is few and far between. Trank has stated that the movie will be based on the Ultimate Fantastic Four series that featured a much younger team. I'm just not sure that making a film about four people who take a private rocket into space on a scientific research mission, and casting them as a young "hip" group, will make the film gel any better with moviegoers that the last set of movies. Then, you have the rumors... that I honestly hope are JUST rumors. For instance, the casting call indicated that the whole "space mission where they get bombarded with cosmic radiation" will be scrapped. Instead, Reed and Ben get transformed in some event, taken by the government to be used as weapons, where they meet Johnny and Sue Storm who also have powers. That might work for a movie origin, but it might turn off fans who could see it as turning a classic 'silver age' superhero comic into a dark 90's series where the government is evil and the heroes have to rebel against the system. 

Another rumor comes from the Hollywood Reporter that the studio is looking to cast a big name as Dr. Doom for the reboot and are not ruling out switching genders for the character. Yeah..., that right there would kill it for me. I want to be cool with flipping sexes, but Dr. Doom is one of my all-time favorite super villains bar none. I can't and don't want to imagine him as a woman. I just don't... I'm sorry. They could make Silver Surfer a woman and I'd be okay with it, but not Doom. What would she be... Victoria Von Doom? I have a feeling a lot of other fans would be irritated by that as well. For what demographic would that be catering to? Comic book fans have seen a lot of women join their ranks in recent years years, but not enough to warrant that kind of change! Plus, are we really going to be okay with seeing The Thing punch out a woman Dr. Doom? That would just be uncomfortable.

Here's the deal... I keep mentioning fanboys because they are going to make or break this movie. The Fantastic Four are not huge names like Spider-man, Batman, Superman or even the X-Men. Iron Man, who prior to 2008 had a popularity around the level of the Fantastic Four, only had a successful movie because it was (mostly) kept lovingly faithful to the source material with great writing, the perfect actor to play Tony Stark and amazing action scenes. At least the fan-irritating Mandarin twist didn't appear until the third movie, could you imagine if that had been in the first film? It would have ended up like Green Lantern did. Iron Man pleased both the fanbase and looked good to casual movie-goers and in the end led to comic sales for the character. The lesson here is don't mess with the established formula just to try to make it edgy or cater to certain demographics.

Part of me wants to see a good Fantastic Four film, but I would really rather Marvel get the license back. They will probably never get Spider-man or X-men back, but FF would go a long way toward building major parts of their universe... especially with their exploring space with Thanos reveal at the end of The Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy coming later this year. Unless I'm very wrong about this reboot, the choice to avoid seeing the movie may not be that hard to make.

Prophet and Toaster’s Weird Heroclix Teams

For this installment’s team, I came up with a Marvel only line-up. Unfortunately, I haven’t played this team in a game yet, partly because I am missing one of the necessary Heroclix to complete it. However, I really love the concept and the line-up seems pretty solid, but building this team could be a little difficult as the line-up includes a couple of Super-rares, some LE’s, and a chase. So without any further ado, I give you the…

Alternate Reality Avengers

So naturally we start with Captain America. For him I am going with Rohjaz, his 1602 Native American counterpart. Rohjaz makes for a great support piece with his Traits of Stealth and Stealth-busting powers. Plus, he’s got a dial full of Enhancement! Unfortunately, Rohjaz is the chase that I mentioned so if you have him, great! If you don’t… um… ask Santa?

Next up is Iron Man. For this I am going with the LE of Iron Man from Galactic Guardians. Coming from a reality where Thanos had wiped out most of Earth’s heroes and almost all life in the universe, Tony Stark helps found a “Newer” Fantastic Four. This piece packs some great fire power with Ranged Combat Expert and Psychic Blast as well as some Outwit.

To complete the “Big 3” of the Avengers, I am using the Thor the Reigning LE. This Thor came from a possible future where he was a king but was no longer worthy of his magic hammer. Thor the Reigning will be a major asset to this team with his Probability Control, Pulse Wave, Telekinesis, late dial Hypersonic Speed and his being Indomitable sure doesn’t hurt either.

To represent the genius scientist Hank Pym I am choosing his least genius form as the Giant-Man from the Marvel Zombies universe. While this Giant-Man has Outwit and Perplex, I would mainly use him to tie up opponents with his Giant Size and Steal Energy.

For Black Widow, I choose Iron Widow from the Ultimate Marvel universe. As you would suspect from someone wearing one of Tony Stark’s robot suits, Iron Widow works a lot like Iron Man with Ranged Combat Expert, Running Shot and Outwit. However, the Ultimates team ability will make her a great sniper.

To represent everyone’s favorite anger management problem, I am choosing Maestro as Hulk’s counterpart. Maestro comes from a future where he is insane, radioactive, king of the planet and killed all the other superheroes. Nice guy. As you would expect, Maestro is just a massive powerhouse to plow down your opponents.

To represent on and off Avenger and X-man Beast, we use his twisted version from the Age of Apocalypse… the Dark Beast. This ‘Buy It By the Brick’ piece has a low point cost but brings lots of evil to the table Outwit, Perplex and his “Cruel Experiment” Special Power.

Then we add the future incarnation of Wonder Man from the Guardians of the Galaxy… Hollywood! While there isn’t much love for Wonder Man in any incarnation, Hollywood is a real Indomitable powerhouse with his Super Strength, late dial Close Combat Expert and his “Almost Immortal” special power.

Since Wolverine has to be on every team in the Marvel universe, here is no different. I have chosen Colonel Logan, his dystopian counterpart from the Days of Future Past storyline (and box set). He is a highly effective low cost piece with Close Combat Expert, Blades/Claws/Fangs, Stealth and Flurry.

And we conclude the team with an alternate dimensional being turned into a twisted version of Spider-man by the Magus. You may know him as Doppleganger. Anyone who has played against this piece knows how vicious it is. Doppleganger is full of Flurry, Leap/Climb with Combat Reflexes on an 18 Defense (making him a bitch to hit) and with a Special Power (“Mindless Pawn”) that allows him to repeatedly attack his opponent in the same round.  Oh, and if your opponent has Spider-man or anyone with that team ability, they’re screwed.

So in conclusion, the line-up for the Alternate Reality Avengers is as follows:

Rohjaz (1602 version of Captain America from CA) -70

Iron Man (as member of Newer Fantastic Four from GG) - 150

Thor the Reigning (future version from HOT) - 168

Giant-Man (Zombie version from Mu&M) - 97

Iron Widow (Ultimates 2 version of Black Widow from AV)

Maestro (evil future version of Hulk from Mu&M) - 195

Dark Beast (evil AoA Beast from Mu&M) 69

Hollywood (future Wonder Man from GG) - 138

Colonel Logan (future Wolverine from Days of Future Past set) - 70

Doppleganger (evil other-dimensional Spidey from Web of Spider-man) -93

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1168 (out of 1200) leaving 32 points left for feats, objects or relics

A 1200 point game isn’t for everyone, but you could easily omit pieces to fit a smaller build. I look forward to playing this team someday. Maybe someday there will be enough pieces for an Alternate Reality Justice League?

Until next time, stay strange.