Monday, January 26, 2015

At long last... the return of Movie Lessons!

Fight Club – You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Machete – Machete don’t text.

Machete Kills - Machete don't Tweet

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe – When Corey Feldman uses his gravely voice, that means he’s a bad ass.
Batman – Batman, the genius crime fighter who plans for any possible situation, is capable of designing a jet that can be shot down with a single bullet. 

Mars Attacks – Still having 2 out of 3 of the branches of government left alive ain’t bad.

Terminator Salvation – Nuclear explosions and radiation have no effect on John Conner.

The Box – You probably shouldn’t press that button.

White Men Can’t Jump – While I own many of his albums and consider myself a fan, I have never heard Jimi Hendrix.

Men at Work – There is indeed something sacred about a man’s fries.
Sleepwalkers – Corncobs can be deadly weapons.

The Great Outdoors – Hotdogs are made from lips and asses.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Wearing a trench coat and fedora will provide the perfect disguise for any six foot tall anthropomorphic reptile.

Apocalypse Now – Napalm smells like gasoline… and victory.

Harry Potter and the “--------------” – Hogwarts doesn’t give a crap about the Houses of Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.
Star Trek: Into Darkness – Apparently the blood of Khan, a genetically engineered super human, can heal any disease and raise the dead.

Star Trek: Into Darkness – Apparently Earth’s leaders had no use for the all-curing and resurrecting blood of Khan and his genetically engineered superhuman brethren and would rather send them floating off into space in a cryogenic stasis.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Gary Shandling is a bad man.

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