On the Ninth Day of Christmas...

On the Ninth Day of Christmas my TiVo saved for me, the Black Dynamite episode “A Crisis at Christmas or the Dark Side of the Dark Side of the Moon.”

DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!

It was a long wait for the animated version of the 2009 film Black Dynamite to premiere on Adult Swim and it did not disappoint. For those who have not seen the show (shame on you!) it is a parody of the Blaxploitation genre featuring a ridiculously over-the-top “alpha male” character in Black Dynamite. Not only is he a master of martial arts, carries a huge gun, is incredibly well hung and all women want him, but he also has an aggressive demeanor and is prone to excessive acts of violence.  When not fighting evil and knocking “the man” down a peg, Black Dynamite and his running crew of Bullhorn, Cream Corn and Honey Bee operate a “Whorephanage” (a home for whores and orphans).   

 So we learn through a series of hilarious scenes that Black Dynamite doesn’t really get the whole Christmas spirit thing. Maiming his orphans with snowballs and putting a gun to Santa’s head have led everyone to be a lot less jolly when Black Dynamite’s around. However, Black Dynamite finds a way that he could make up for his ways when an opportunity arises for him to go to the moon ad bring back some moon rocks for the orphans.

Unfortunately, the man who will be joining him is O.J. Simpson, the most loved black man in America (did I mention that the series takes place sometime in the 1970’s?)

Black Dynamite and the Juice have a long and complicated history together, but BD has to suck it up for the orphans. Right before lift-off however, O.J. reveals his cowardice by literally getting out of his seat and fleeing the launch pad. To make matters worse, the rocket explodes in space, seemingly killing Black Dynamite in the process.

I don’t want to give away very much, but the episode is hilarious. It is everything I could have wanted in a Black Dynamite Christmas. It is irreverent, profane, witty and full of violence. Hell, Santa even makes an appearance!

On the Merry Meter, out of fear of Black Dynamite kicking a whole through my chest, I give “A Crisis at Christmas or the Dark Side of the Dark Side of the Moon” a 10 out of 10.

 Tune in tomorrow for a seemingly forgotten Nicktoon Christmas.