Even More Lessons I've Learned From Movies

Movies sure do have a lot to teach us. We just have to know where to look for the lessons:

The Terminator – Muscular six foot two men with Austrian accents blend seamlessly in 1980’s Los Angeles.

Superman Returns – Superman is a creepy stalker. 

Fast Five – Vin Diesel’s love conquers all. 

Snakes on a Plane – Given the opportunity, snakes will bite penises and women’s nipples.

Phonebooth – If you go into a phone booth, Kiefer Sutherland will kill you. 

The Karate Kid – Elderly Japanese men can teach anyone karate by coercing them to do basic chores.   

Thor – Smart women are no match for a great set of abs.

The Avengers – The United States has a ridiculous amount of debt that threatens to weaken it’s currency and cause an economic meltdown, but at least S.H.I.E.L.D. gets to have an aircraft carrier that can fly! 

North By Northwest – If you walk through a cornfield, you are pretty much inviting anybody flying around in a bi-plane to shoot you.

Time Bandits – When your son tells you not to touch something because it’s pure evil, don’t touch it!

Rear Window – It’s probably a better idea to just watch television.

V for Vendetta – In a future England where the government runs the country like a police state, it is totally plausible that a violent revolutionary dressed in a black coat, black hat and a Guy Fawkes mask could commission and distribute black coats, black hats and Guy Fawkes masks to everyone in London without the authorities noticing. 

 

Stand By Me – The best childhood memories involve finding a corpse.