Toaster's Ramblings... the Pepsi X Scourge Edition

So I enjoy trying new things and as such I am a sucker for gimmicky variations of time honored soft drinks like Mountain Dew Game Fuel and Vanilla Coke. So when I was told of a new version of Pepsi whose taste was reminiscent of Holiday Spice Pepsi from several Christmases past, I was intrigued. When I came across the limited edition Pepsi X, I was eager to give it a try.

For those who have never heard of it, Pepsi X is a promotional flavor to help advertise the American Idol rip-off The X Factor (which is ironic as Idol began as a rip-off of Simon Cowell’s own X-Factor from England). You see, Idol is famously sponsored by Coca Cola and so Pepsi advertises heavily for Factor. Pepsi X is basically the cola with added flavoring of Dragon Fruit. Why Dragon Fruit? I have no frakking idea. I don’t really even know what Dragon Fruit tastes like, but Wikipedia says it is a Pitaya, a kind of Chinese cactus. I’m assuming whatever flavoring that was added to the Pepsi is not actually what Dragon Fruit tastes like. All I know was that I was told it tasted a little like Pepsi Holiday Spice, a cola that many seemed to dislike, but I enjoyed.

To be fair, upon first drink it actually did remind me of Holiday Spice Pepsi... somewhat. I liked it okay and kept drinking it while riding in the car leaving the store from where I purchased it. But with each subsequent mouthful of this Pepsi X, I grew to dislike it more and more. Finally, my disdain reached a point that I could no longer stand this novelty cola. I was actually tempted to pour it out the window of Jonny’s vehicle as we drove at speeds of 70 miles per hour on the expressway out of fear that I would instinctively take another drink of Pepsi X.

The friend who initially told me about Pepsi X has since described it as tasting like a “vagina that has not been washed in four months.” I will have to take his word for it as far as the vagina aspect. What I find amusing is that he never warned me of this when initially telling me of the product. I suspect he would tell me that he wanted to see what I thought of it without his opinion tainting my mine before I even tasted it. I suspect, however, is that he is a cruel bastard that wanted me to suffer just as he had! He will pay…

What’s worse is that he and Jonny were discussing what Pepsi X tasted like when I was present. Their descriptions reminded me of the nasty cola so much I actually became a little queasy, I shit you not! It’s that bad! The last time I had a similar reaction to a nasty carbonated beverage was Jones Soda’s Candy Corn flavored abomination from a few Halloween’s back. Now that I think of it, I duped that same friend into drinking the remaining 3 cans of the 4-pack after I had as much as I could stand from one can. Perhaps Pepsi X was his revenge against me.